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Joined: Oct 2000
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Originally Posted by atena
How would you answer her message?
Here it is:
Hello Atena,
I just wanted you to know that we are thinking about you. Bill, the kids and I drove up to XYZ to see my parents this past Monday. My mom and and I talked about how sad we are. It is impossible to know what to do to help you and brother. We hope you are getting the support that you need. It is so important that you know how much we love and care about you. As you know, my family is notoriously terrible at talking about our feelings. We all want to hide away until everything is resolved. The chief tool we use is plenty of time and a heavy rug. I know that does not help you. That is why I want to let you know that even if you haven't heard from me often enough, I am right here with you on my mind. I love you!
Amy

Write her back.
Say:
Your kindness means so much to me.
I'd love to get together for some "girl time" and NOT talk about sad things.
Is that possible?
Love, Atena

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,769
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Thank you all for you help.
Yes Melody is right I do sometimes see him but only at work (very briefly walking in the hallway�we both look the other way and walk faster) but I have been taking very strict measures and now know his schedule. So it has been now 10 days since the last time I saw him.
I do not live in the States and right now in order not to spend time in my apartment building where the OW lives I am spending time at friends. It is not easy to be a few days here and a few days there but I am managing and the up side of this is that I have company and do not have to spend time all alone thinking of H and OW.

I can�t change my job now. The thing is�jobs here are not like in the States, you lose one you do not find another. There are age restrictions and contract restrictions. For me to change job it will take a couple of years. I am working on a M.Ed and will be done with it next July.
I can�t go thru any more changes than the ones I am right now.

In terms of plan B�thank you for reminding me that it is not to get H back. I do have a question however�. Why do some H come back after plan B? For ex. Quenney�s H did after more than 2 years of NC. How can H even think about that�.I mean they already are out of love with us, have OW and on top of that have not seen us for more than 2 years�.how is it possible they change and want us back? Is it out of loneliness, desperation�.what? Certainly not love!
Blessing


atena
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