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If Pom was still around, he could tell you what happens when you roll over...
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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I think things would change if men would start fighting back instead of acting like the French. When I stop laughing I'm going to tell on you.
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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My lawyer told me the state of Utah cared less who she screwed. I think that is a bit of an exaggeration if that is what your lawyer is telling you, especially in conservative Utah. Your lawyer may just be wimp and wants to get your D over without any resistance from WW or even you. I'd still consult with another attorney and do some research on your own. No one has as much invested in a D outcome as you do. Use the resources available and do some research. Lawyers can say anything...it doesn't mean they are right.
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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I'm a 3rd degree blackbelt and she still whipped my ssss That's what 15 years of ballet training can do for ya!! Who needs a black belt. I had a black leotard. Looked darn good in it, too!   
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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If Pom was still around, he could tell you what happens when you roll over... You lose the sky.
I watch, and am as a sparrow alone upon the house top.
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How could I forget to mention you, Pariah? Though I didn't want to since your rolling over wasn't by your choice.
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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I got broadsided and sent to the bottom burning before I could even get the gunports open.
I now fly the Jolly Roger.
I watch, and am as a sparrow alone upon the house top.
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And the Jolly Roger be ye best! Arrr. At least you seem more optimistic now. 
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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My lawyer told me the state of Utah cared less who she screwed. And I partly blame lawyers for this sad state of affairs. Typically, they try to persuade the man to roll over so they can have an easy, "amicable" divorce. The lawyer wants things to be as easy as possible FOR THEM. Their only goal is to faciliatate the easiest divorce possible. That is why we tell folks here to tell the lawyer what they want and have them do it. Its one thing to take essential legal advice, its quite another to just roll over so his lawyers job will be easy peasy.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I routinely see posts from scared husbands who can't expose or do many other things for fear his wife will be "angry." They avoid making her angry at any and all costs.
Fess up, guys, you are so afraid of her anger because she is beating you up, right?
Why else would a man be so terrified of her "anger" that he would sacrifice his marriage? Many are more scared of her anger than they are of the impending DIVORCE from inaction.
Do y'all need lessons in self defense too? Fear conflict? I EMBRACED IT!! w/ every ounce of energy/passion I had left in me. I doubt men are getting their rears kicked, but there are a lot of nice guy/pansy men out there who are scared of their wives. My fwxw thought that was the case w/ me. She was wrong. I was far stronger/tougher than she could imagine. I think she is kinda attracted to that aspect of my personality now(how do I do the crazy face icon) and has absolute RESPECT for me. DUDE
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Why would she have respect for you after your affair?
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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I think there's a lot to be said for emotional bullying by women. The OWH in my case knew in his gut that what his W was doing with my H was "inappropriate" long before it became physical. He was afraid to address it for a few reasons:
1. His WW told him that she could have any 'friend' she wanted.
2. She said she would leave him if he made waves about her 'friendship' with my H.
3. She eventually admitted that she had feelings for my H, but told her BH that, if he got in the way of their evenings together, she would leave him and their kids.
All of which bullied him into keeping his mouth shut so that he didn't rock the adultery boat. And the only good it did was to allow the A to go from EA to PA.
And here we all are, months after exposure. The OW is still with her spouse. I guess all those threats really weren't worth the hot air they were blown out with.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Why would she have respect for you after your affair? Hence, the crazy eyes icon. I don't know? Maybe a little fear of your husband is not a bad thing? I never was a verbal/physical abuser, but when you betray me, look out. I think the fact I didn't roll over and cry like a baby gave her respect for me. I also think, since she is a devout Christian maybe she considers my actions punishment by God which we know is a farse. I really don't know, but I can tell you she has the uttmost respect for me. DUDE
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Tried to post a link to a story in New York Post about a wife who tried to murder her husband. Nov. 1.
She stabbed him for not being religious enough.
Found it when I did a search "role reversal woman stabs husband honor killing"
Belle, Domestic Goddess
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The fact that you fooled around with another woman does not show her that you did not roll over! It shows her that you disregarded her in much the same way she did you!
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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The fact that you fooled around with another woman does not show her that you did not roll over! It shows her that you disregarded her in much the same way she did you! Ok, well, then yes. Funny you have Karma in your name. I guess you are hoping someone else hands down the requisite punishment. Thats ok. I'd rather spank my children myself rather than having the school do it.
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What's punishment got to do with this?
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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What's punishment got to do with this? Why are you asking for Karma?(punishment) What is a RA?(punishment) You and I want the same thing. I did mine myself, you're sitting around "hoping" for revenge(punishment). Right?
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No, I simply want you to realize, that your RA is just as bad as your wife's A. Not punishment.
You destroyed your wife's feelings just as she did yours.
Who do you have to punish?
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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No, I simply want you to realize, that your RA is just as bad as your wife's A. Not punishment.
You destroyed your wife's feelings just as she did yours.
Who do you have to punish? Ok, fair enough, so who are you cheering the Karma bus on for? Is resentment and wanting punishment via bad Karma bad? Maybe not as bad as an RA, but BAD. Do you realize that? DUDE
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