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I can help you
*&^%$$$@hotmail.com
This message will self destruct in 10 min
Last edited by barbiecat; 12/03/09 12:34 PM.
Me; W 46
Him; H 46
2 girls
DD19
DD16
Dated/Married total 28 years.
..I am learning and working on myself.
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I just sent him a text asking for a polygraph and STD test. he usually texts me right back, but he didn't. By looking at the pics that she sent, she looks like a whore! I am sure he paid for it.
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Gee, you all learn slow. See #4. (I am really sorry about this, I don't mean to be cruel)
Me; W 46
Him; H 46
2 girls
DD19
DD16
Dated/Married total 28 years.
..I am learning and working on myself.
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When you finally nail him, he will follow the wayward script to a tee.
#1. I considered myself emotionally divorced from you for years now.
#2. God WANTS me to be happy and I'm pre-forgiven.
#3. If you ahdn't done X, I wouldn't have done this.
#4. You destroyed my trust when you exposed and humiliated ME. I can't possible work it out NOW.
I watch, and am as a sparrow alone upon the house top.
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just tried to send you an IM...not sure if it worked
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ah just use the email. I am at work! hehehehehehe
disabled. I'd never get anythin done!
Me; W 46
Him; H 46
2 girls
DD19
DD16
Dated/Married total 28 years.
..I am learning and working on myself.
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atlantacutie, your best results with advice will be from Melodylane, Bob_Pure, Mr. and Mrs. Wondering, Schoolbus and the likes of the over 10k post pros.
I'd reasearch the posts of users that offer emails out of the blue. You might find they have no experience in such matters.
I watch, and am as a sparrow alone upon the house top.
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I guess I have some reading to do because I am still confused why grown adults that are married can't take separate vacations.....
So you are saying if I want to go on a vaca w/ my Mom, I have to bring my husband. that is crazy! Or I want to go out of town for a baby shower, which in turn is a mini-vacation, I need to bring my husband???? I guess I am not to be married if that is in the cards for a successful marriage
Last edited by atlantacutie; 12/03/09 12:59 PM.
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Out of town is far different from a vacation.
ANd you are about to find out the hard way why families should NEVER take seperate vacations.
It's called independant behavior and he sure found it easy to disconnect from you when he was on whore island by himself without you there to stop him.
Last edited by Pariah; 12/03/09 01:04 PM.
I watch, and am as a sparrow alone upon the house top.
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Oh yeah, I'm really a dude. phhht.
Me; W 46
Him; H 46
2 girls
DD19
DD16
Dated/Married total 28 years.
..I am learning and working on myself.
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I guess I have some reading to do because I am still confused why grown adults that are married can't take separate vacations.....
So you are saying if I want to go on a vaca w/ my Mom, I have to bring my husband. that is crazy! Or I want to go out of town for a baby shower, which in turn is a mini-vacation, I need to bring my husband???? I guess I am not to be married if that is in the cards for a successful marriage Why would you want to spend some of the best times of your life without your spouse?
BH: 46
FWW: 44
3 DD: 20,17,11
Married 24 years
PA/EA: 5/08
DDay: 6/08
NC: 8/08
Previous EA 1998 confessed 8/08
In Recovery
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and he continues to find it easy to forget about me as he calls her and exchanges emails with her talking about love, compassion, and missing each other.
I have no choice but to move on! I am not going to be his doormat while he runs around. I caught him in this one instance and I can assure you there have been more!
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Out of town is far different from a vacation.
ANd you are about to find out the hard way why families should NEVER take seperate vacations.
It's called independant behavior and he sure found it easy to disconnect from you when he was on whore island by himself without you there to stop him. Is it independent behaviour if it was POJA'd first? I took my sister on holiday last year for her 50th birthday. Two other sisters came with us. My WS agreed to the trip before I booked it. It's possible that he may have had ONSs whilst I was away but of course, at the time, I trusted him. The alternatives, according to some posters, would have been to either insist he came with us or not take my sister on holiday at all.
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I guess I have some reading to do because I am still confused why grown adults that are married can't take separate vacations..... Yes, they can take separate vacations, they are grown adults who can do what they want. But when you are trying to create a romantic, intimate, happy marriage, you don't do things, like lead independent lifestyles, that destroy marriages. You have already seen with your own eyes what taking separate vacations can do to a marriage, so I don't know why you question this. The key to creating a happy marriage is INTERDEPENDENCE, not independence. Leading separate lifestyles erodes intimacy and makes a marriage vulnerable to an affair. As you can see. My H and I don't do all of our traveling together because we "have to" but because we love being with each other and because we spend all of our leisure time together. You don't have to do anything. But if your goal is to create a happy, intimate, romantic marriage, yes, you would want to take vacations together. Traveling apart - for any reason - is an invitation to an affair.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Is it independent behaviour if it was POJA'd first? You can POJA anything, it doesn't mean it is good for your marriage. Taking separate vacations is why this poster is here. I don't even understand why this would be up for debate. POJA is not intended to be used to harm the marriage and throw out the other principles. If you run out in the road and get hit by a car, would the logical solution be to stay out of the road?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I am new to this so sorry for the stupid question, but i am not used to some of the acronyms
what is POJA, BS, WS, DH, etc......
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This may be a completely 1-sided affair. I have a strong suspicion that this woman is just stringing him along for gifts or money. Do you have access to bank records? Check them for any strange withdrawls.
Have you heard of the scams on websites where women in foreign countries get guys to fall for them and pursuade the guys to send them money? This sounds like a similar situation.
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We have a wacky marriage. nothing is shared but the mortgage - so no bank accounts, etc......
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This may be a completely 1-sided affair. I have a strong suspicion that this woman is just stringing him along for gifts or money. Do you have access to bank records? Check them for any strange withdrawls.
Have you heard of the scams on websites where women in foreign countries get guys to fall for them and pursuade the guys to send them money? This sounds like a similar situation. This is what I was thinking too.
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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