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Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 7
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 7 |
My friend recently found out that her boyfriend of 2 years has been cheating on her. He actually confessed to her because he said he was feeling bad about the whole issue. He had serious feelings of guilt.
He says he has broken of the relationship with the other girl. He says it will never happen again. Should she believe him just because he cnfessed without her discovering the affair first? Does his confession show a sign of a true change of heart?
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Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 2,888
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Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 2,888 |
Wendy, I imagine you'll get a number of various answers. Partly because you haven't given an awful lot of information. Some people believe "once a cheater, always a cheater." Are you one?
The instinctive reaction I have is that without using the Marriage Builders plan as specified on this site and in the books, there is a strong possibility of your friend's boyfriend cheating again -- if he still isn't engaged in his behavior.
The emotional turmoil created by such an admission or discovery is acute. Your friend will be torn by this confession, and the only way it will benefit is if she gets help. This is a good place to steer her to.
Preach the Gospel every day. When necessary, use words.
St. Francis of Assissi
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Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 7
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 7 |
Thanks for the advice Fred. I already directed her to this wonderful site and forum :-)
She says he's really a nice guy, and he has been trying to make it up to her since the incident happened. She says he's very remorseful. She just has a bit of doubt.
Last edited by Wendy32; 12/04/09 08:19 AM.
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Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 2,888
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Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 2,888 |
Thanks for the advice Fred. I already directed her to this wonderful site and forum :-)
She says he's really a nice guy, and he has been trying to make it up to her since the incident happened. She says he's very remorseful. She just has a bit of doubt. I'd be very worried if she didn't have doubt. She might want to go so far as to insist her BF take a polygraph and be tested for STD.
Preach the Gospel every day. When necessary, use words.
St. Francis of Assissi
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,769
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,769 |
My H cheated on his girlfriend many times and his excuse was that she cheated on him.
Then he married me and he cheated on me twice...his excuse was that he never loved me and was never happy with me. So in my opinion there is always an excuse for a cheater to cheat because it is their modus operandi in a crisis. Meaning...when they get unhappy about something they believe they deserve the thrill of an A, or in my H's case, the thrill of a completely new life without W or son.
I would dump the boyfriend and treasure this experience in terms of being more careful about who I date next.
blessing
atena
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 2,531
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,277
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Probably
I hope she has no plans on marriage with this guy any time soon.
If he cant make it dating for 2yrs without cheating, what are the odds he can make it the rest of his life without cheating.
Last edited by Gack1; 12/04/09 10:17 AM.
Me 34
WW 30
Abandoned Feb 17th 08, D-Day Aprl 27th 08.
Returned home Jul 7th, OC born 12/30/08
The FOG is clear, and we are in recovery.
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,738
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I routinely cheated on my girlfriends on while dating. I eventually got over it and got my act together, and have never once strayed from my wife nor seriously considered it.
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 4,554
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 4,554 |
Probably
I hope she has no plans on marriage with this guy any time soon. If in "soon", you mean "this century", I agree. My advice, as always in this type of case, is for the betrayed person walk away. My case is a classic example of what can and likely will happen if she decides to stay.
ManInMotion
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(see "MiM's Story" for more details)
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