well it's been two years a month since i found about about my xhusbands affair. It has been 20 days to the day since my divorce is final. He still is with the OW and they are planning on getting married.

They live in a two bedroom appartment with him, her, her one son, and the son's father.

I keep hoping that the bubble will burst. I have not talked to him in a year. Some much has happened for the good an bad in the last year.

I do have a lot to be thankful, new job, raise, house, and a beautiful daughter. I am still angry at the affair couple tho. I was never able to have an intact family with my daughter. My and my daughter have been the only family unit since she was a month old and around the holidays it is hard ( especailly since i don't have her for thanksgiving and christmas). I guess this isn't a post for advice but more one of venting. I didn't know where else to go with it today. Sorry.

ST4,

We're here. I'm lucky in that my dad has endured my mom. LOL! They are going on like 40 yrs and been through hell a few times. Can't believe they're still together with some of what they went through. I have realitives and friends with broken/split homes and it looks like a nightmare, so sorry for you and your daughter.

Happy turkey day. I for one will have a slice of white and dark meat!

Bet Thanksgiving is gonna be interesting in that household...

Say what???

Hi Snuggles!

Sending a hug your way!

You xWH still sounds whacked.

What are you doing for you these days to continue growing.

Sounds like a Springer episode. Life sounds like a box of chocolates in that household!

That reminds me of to my brother's girlfriend's situation.

Her grandma lives there with a husband and an ex-husband. Granted they're elderly so perhaps it's for convenient reasons.

LOL yes it is quit the spriner episode. I have no idea i have not talked to him directly in a year. I got this information second hand and the children services is looking into it.

As for me i am doing great most of the time now. I enjoy my daughter emensly, exercise and paint for my own sanity. I enjoy spending time with friends and have been doing things around my house.

I am thankful this holiday to have an awesome new job and a wonderful daughter.

The only problem i had was that i never got to have that whole family feeling. Granted i have a family with just my daughter and i but i never envisioned when i was finally pregnant that i would have to spend my holiday's without her. I do appreciate everyone for reading and helping me out here. I do appreciate it.

Well i just found out that not only is the guy living with my husband and his OW her youngest son's baby daddy but was also her first fiance... she had another one after that. She was engaged to that one when she started dating my WxH. the guy was just released from the state hospital again last week.... i am so lucky to have my daughter go there (dripping in sarcasm).

Isn't there something that your lawyer can do about your child going to that kind of living arangement? This cannot be healthy for your child.

Ok... I almost spit out when I read about the living arrangments. ICKY...

I can only imagine how frustrating it is to send your daughter over there in such a messed up house.

However, if XWH is ok with that, he is really one sick human being.... And not your problem anymore.

Yeah, it's easier to say when I am back with my husband and I honestly have no clue how I would be handling things if it weren't the case. I only have my FAITH and TRUST in G-d that everyday, even though a part of me was missing, I would haven't just found a new way to live. Found a new normal.

And it sounds like that is exactly what you are doing. Good for you. Good for becoming stronger than before.

Not yet. Remember Jeremiah 29:11. I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

I found that sometimes when I was asking G-d for something, he wasn't saying no to me, just not yet. That I wasn't ready, or what he was planning on the other side of the mountain wasn't ready. Keep asking and ask him too how to walk throught he feelings you have of not having that intact family and show you how to come to terms and accept.

I'm glad you are here. I'm glad you are posting and I hope you stick around to be loved on by us.

oops queenie i T/J you not knowing you were writting over here... i am ... i am very glad and thankful for what i have now. I realize that some people who change to wayward may never change back.... this is the cause with my xH and since that is the case i don't ever want him back.

I learned my lesson the long hard non-MB way, but things happen for a reason. I love my new job, my daughter, and the ability to support the two of us without any help from plankton.... He only pays 200 a month in CS but he threatened if he paid more he would take me to court for joint custody... which in this lovely state would happen because they believe it is better for the child to be shuffled every three or four days between houses. If that were to happen i would owe him anywhere between 800 to 1000 a month in CS. He just quite his job a few months ago as a volunatary layoff. He works part-time for them and collects unenjoyment part-time while running his own buisess. But he was slick in that aspect. His company is not in his name. He does all the work but has someone else's name on paper. Lucky me can't even get him introuble for that. Oh well can't worry about him but one day he will have to pay for the things he has done.

JoJO. Sadly no i looked into it and she isn't of age to be in her own room and the court can't do anything about the exfiance living there either as long as the people in the bedrooms are of bloodlines they can reside like that. I even looked into dyfs (child protective services) they said although they don't agree with it there is nothing illegal about it. Totally SUCKS. Thank you for your concern took me about two weeks to get that answer.

and PSUBIKER would KNOW what that looks like.....


not2fun

(((((Stronger)))))),

I STILL love that name change..(and just because your thread in D was erased don't think I didn't know who you were....).

Anyway, you sound so good. I am happy for you. And yes, I expect that the current situation isn't what you had planned or dreamed of, but then it just means it's time to come up with some new dreams!!!!....

This living sitch concerns me. There are WAY to many unknowns for me and I am FURIOUS for you that the laws are better equipped for this. Sending your daughter where there are people you don't know LIVING there, that would keep me awake at night....Keep getting all the legal help and advice you can to CHANGE this. Also, keep a careful journal of everything concerning your D's visits. I know she is still young, but keep every thing documented....

Stay strong and beautiful as always.....


not2fun

Not has it so right. You simply just sound so good.

Amen

Well today is just one of those days i need to vent or something.

I was in FL for the weekend, with my little sister who is still in college, she just had gyn surgery end of last week so i went with my mom down to be with her. My mom is still there with my sister and my brother and i brining my sister home for christmas the end of this week. It was good to see my twin and my sister as i don't get see much of my family. I don't live that far from my parents or my two other brothers but no one wants to come to where i live for fear of my xWH and running into his family. I have to say it hurts, alot. I have expressed this to them and they just tell me to bring my daughter up to visit with them there. They get annoyed cause i don't seem to understand this, but the fact of the matter is i don't ever run into my xWH or HIS family. They then get mad when i don't go see them every month. They live about an hour and half away, but i have my own life and things i need to get done myself on weekends. I don't know what the right answer to that is.

The other thing is, it is so nice to see that when people expose to the WS families that those families don't always sit by idioly and do nothing. It seems that they took the witness part of the vows seriously and are commited to help their families to stay together. I wish i had had that kind of support from my ex inlaws. The only ones who did was my ex sister-in-law and she is still a stanch supporter of this and will not be around or have anything to do with my x or his OW. It saddens me tho to know that i was replaced so easily in that family as if i never mattered, especially this time of year. But i am making new traditions for me and my daughter as we are having a blast. I have been donating my time (when i don't have my daughter) to do charity work locally as well. Makes me feel better.

I do want to thank any of the vets out there that tried to help me when i was going through all of the orginal affair stuff. I was not strong enough at the time to listen nor was i mature enough in some instances to handle the situation. I am sorry for that but do appreciate the time and effort you had tried to put into my situation. It may not seem like it then but both then and now it was greatly appreciated. I have grown to be a wiser person for it all.

ok well i need a little input here. My DD2 came home from her father's with some christmas gifts from her to me. Ok well i kinda figured it would just be a pic of her or something...... but noooooo.... there were three packages.
1. was a stuffed santa with long legs and arms wrapped around a couch throw
2. was body wash, lotion, soap, and bubble bath ( in a sent that i like).
3. a two tone watch.

now mind you none of these were expensive but i don't know if i should return them or just keep them cause they were from my daughter.... blah... like a two year old could pick those out. My IM who transfers out DD stated that he told her my DD2 picked thme out for me.... ummm yeah right.... i just don't know what the right thing to do is.

((((Stronger)))),

I thought of you through the holidays. Hope all was well, or at least as good as good as could be expected.

I say do what you want with the presents. I wouldn't return them to him, because that just puts you into THAT drama....

(I've been giving that advice a lot lately....I wonder if my "conflict-avoider" is returning..... )

Anyway, the presents were just a conscience easing tactic of XWH.....whatever...

not2fun

I agree with Not.

If you enjoy the gifts, keep them and use them. If they trigger you in any way or if you really have no desire to keep them, donate them.

Not, I don't see this as conflict avoiding at all. It's just taking charge of your own life and home and deciding what gets to be a part of it. When someone receives an unwanted gift, it is usually passed on to someone else who may appreciate it, not given back to the original giver. And in THIS situation, that does put you back in the drama.