I did expose at work and I have heard nothing about it.

You are correct that I am still unable to find OW family. I can't find them at all and I don't know what to do to find them. I know she has a mother that lives far away from her and a brother who watches her daughter for her. I don't know their names and I have noone who can tell me. I have tried to contact someone who may know but no luck yet as it had to be done third party. I am at a stand still with this part as nothing can be done on my end.

I exposed to an online RPG game he plays hoping that someone would put pressure on him but now he changed his passwords and I don't have a clue.

YOU hearing about it isn't the point.

I just meant that I don't know if there were any things that happened to them and if it was even taken seriously. It's almost like all of my exposure didn't get me any of the help in putting pressure on the A. Well, I know it was a step that had to be taken.

You need to actually talk to someone at their work. Have you done this?

Their managers will surely care that they are using company time (and thus, money) to carry on their adulterous affair. Have you contacted HR???

<If exposure has not been done properly, you are spinning your wheels. You need to make the A VERY uncomfortable for them. Once I did full-on, nuclear exposure, the A ended and we got into real recovery.>

I don't have time right now, but please go back and look at my exposure thread in early March 2007...titled something like "NC Never *&^%$ Started".

This is the sort of exposure you MUST do if you haven't already.

So WH's workplace condones adultery .... lovely.

Does your WH always pack his own lunch, or does he eat out ?
An unexpected lunch delivery would be sweet, especially when made by
a hot looking BW.
Hmm, would this cause tension between the adulteres ???

Remember, you are still married to WH, and you believe in M, anyway you can remind both of them of this will be in your favour,
in a non love busting way of course.

As far as WH not responding to your affections, just keep doing them.
He may be angry at himself, feeling some guilt for his actions.
He may be in disbelief that you are sincere, so stay consistent, lovebusters can make him doubt your intentions.

Ok here it is. I have exposed to his mother, whom he barely speaks to and she said she doesn't get involved in this sort of thing. I exposed to his sister whom he doesn't even talk to. I have told all of the people on my side of the equation. I have told old friends of his as he has no current friends other than her and her friends. I can't find her friends or family.

I wrote two letters to their work since I found out that he took her on a training trip in August. The second letter was just sent last Tuesday.

I told our children about all of it. I told them that if they had any questions they could ask either one of us. They said they understood what was going on.

I really don't know who else I CAN expose to. I feel like that was all I could do and it wasn't a nuclear explosion so it wasn't want it needed to be. Does that mean I should give up hope?

Sometimes exposure ends the affair.

Sometimes it doesn't.

You need to focus on Plan A. Meet his ENs, avoid LBs, and do it as long as you can without causing yourself irreparable harm like PTSD. Learn to state how hurtful the affair is in a calm and loving manner. Find ways to catch him in the act and remind him you are still his wife, love him very much, and expect him to come home.

Then prepare for your dark, dark Plan B... and do Plan B on your timetable, not his.

Personally, if I were you, and had not heard of any changes in the workplace, (they still sit beside eachother )
I would prance in there and ask to speak to the person that you sent the letter to.
Then I would ask what is being done to help you save your M, if nothing is being done, then
ask
"Is it the policy of this workplace to encourage adultery or help families and M's remain intact?"

No, you should not give up hope but you SHOULD make phone calls to HR at their work.

No more of this sending-letters-nonsense. That isn't working because you don't know if they are receiving them.

When you call HR, politely let them know that sexual harrassment lawsuits can certainly stem frm situations/inappropriate relationships such as the one POSOW is having with your H, a married man.

When you call HR, ask to speak to a manager or someone high up in the managerial chain.

Also, do you attend a church? If so, let your pastor know and ask him if he will contact your H.

Does your H have any other good friends? Expose to them AGAIN and ask their help in saving your M. Ask them to put pressure on your H to do the right thing and keep his family intact.

Is he close to anyone in your family? Do you have anyone in your family who he respects and would feel badly if he knew they were highly disappointed in him?

He doesn't have any friends anymore. He does seem to hang out with a couple of people from work but I don't know them at all.

We don't attend church.

I have told all of the friends we do have and they were shocked but they politely told me they couldn't take sides. I just explained that I needed to try to save this. He wouldn't answer the phone if he saw who was calling so I don't know how any of them will even be able to contact him if they wanted to help.

I will try to call his work and see what I can do there.

Since you are planning on one week before Plan B, I want to give some suggestions

Low cut shirts and alluring nightclothes. Occasional strutting naked.

Come hither, smokey eyes at him (do your best to stay in the character and not laugh or cry).

Maybe some solitary sensual pleasure next to him. Not inviting him to participate BUT being a bit brave and if he gets angry or rude saying "sorry but I just felt the need."


Smell good.

Look good.

Look like you FEEL good.
Be brave.

Do hot stuff for him to recall when he is gone.

SF is one of men's most important emotional needs and a powerful one. You meet it by showing that you are a sexual woman who knows how to feel sexual all on your own.

I just called their workplace and all that HR told me was that they are not allowed to discuss anything to do with their policies if it not to an employee.

I feel like all of my exposing was for NOTHING and now I am getting that hopeless feeling again.

You don't need them to tell you their policy...just politely let them know that your VERY MARRIED HUSBAND is having an affair with one of their EMPLOYEES and you are sure they would want to know so that they can protect themselves from a potential sexual harrassment lawsuit.

The words "Sexual Harrassment Lawsuit" will SURELY perk up their ears.

Don't give up hope Scotland, your M is not over until D papers are signed,(remember that )
and you are not even close to that.

Right now you are fighting the A and showing your WH that you are the best choice,
and you are giving him the best impression of what married life can be like with you.

Do what you can to make the A an uncomfortable situation to be in, for both the infidels.
I learned that in fighting the A part, you have to be ruthless, it is war.

You are still doing great, breathe and keep your focus.

p.s. no work place likes the sounds of 'Sexual Harrassment'

Thought I better clarify this .....

I mean that the workplace sounds like this is the only weapon you have right now to use against this adultery.
Workplaces not liking the sound of 'Sexual Harrassment' , is a good thing to use!

I used the Sexual Harrassment question and she asked how a lawsuit could arise from this and if what I was trying to do was get information from her of a nature that she was not allowed to tell me? She even asked me if I was trying to tell her how to do her job? She said that all she could tell me was that they had received the letters. It really didn't seem so promising I guess I have to just let this affair die a natural death with no help from exposure.

Don't be so sure. It may be that they would rather handle this internally and not expose their own dirty laundry.

I have received no response to the letters I sent to POSOM's employer. And I cc'd the CEO and General Counsel.

Either it has an effect or it doesn't. But as Wayne Gretsky famously remarked, "You never make 100% of the shots you don't take."

Reading- I have been dressing more sexy and making sure I do my hair and even wearing makeup. Smiling a lot and laughing as much as possible even when I don;t think things are that funny.

I wrote him an email today detailing a dream i had in which I did all of his favourite things in a sexual way. I know his fantasies and that helped.

It is hard to do any of the other things because he barely even looks at me. I am going to do all that I can and just let it fall on deaf ears but maybe WH is actually in there somewhere and when the A starts going down he will remember those little things. I just need him to have me in his mind when he is with her sometimes so it will cause his little brain to clear up a bit.

For most men AS (Attractive Spouse) is an EN, even if they don't recognize it, so keeping yourself looking good is VERY important.

Even during the A I know my appearance made a big impression on my FWH because he commented on it often (he always has). Even when things between us were rough, he would STILL tell me how good I looked.

And if you are planning on going to Plan B, this is really crucial. Let his last mental pictures of you being how GREAT you looked all the time.

MF- well I don't know about looking GREAT hehehehe.....I gained a lot of weight over our relationship and I have been losing some lately due to the "MY H IS SLEEPING WITH OW DIET" which is to say barely eating. She is smaller than me but she is also overweight which I don't think matters to him that much.

I have been walking with friends and exercising regularly as well. I have been feeling and looking better and others have been telling me this lately which is really hard, since the only person I really want to hear it from is not even looking at me much.. He hasn't mentioned anything about my looks at all but I still make sure to try to look my best. I have caught him stealing quick looks at me and I make sure he sees a good deal that would make him happy. I am just doing the best I can with what I have.

I attempted to call my FIL today but I got his wife instead. My WH has had no contact with his father in years but I thought that maybe if FIL would at the very least leave a message or write a letter telling WH that what he is doing isn't right that maybe the influence he had on him when he was a child will sink in a little. It was my last resort as my best chance was their work and that panned out to NADA.