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Hey all.....
I'm looking but can't seem to find it yet, but if anyone has a link to it, that would be great....
I'm looking for Schoolbus's thread on Body Language (I don't remember the exact title...).....
not2fun
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I just spent 10 minutes looking for it for you, only to get to it and find your already there. *sigh* 
Recovered marriage, recovering self, life gets better everyday
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I just spent 10 minutes looking for it for you, only to get to it and find your already there. *sigh*  loves ya...you indecent exposurer you.....
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now shoosh, thats a secret
Recovered marriage, recovering self, life gets better everyday
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well, I'd give ya those 10 minutes back if I could, but since I can't would ya settle for a smooochhhhh????
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now shoosh, thats a secret opppsssss....now you've been EXPOSED!!!!!...
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Seems like it was on Hope's thread. Try there.
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Bump. Anyone know where to find SchoolBus' advice on when to know when it's over with OW? It may have been lost in the great crash. It mentions the wails of OW being loud...and WH complaining about how awful OW is...
NOT for me. But...surprise, surprise. ChaiLover's WH is trying to talk to her. And he was one of the worse waywards. Mine is THE worse, and hers was close.
Leave them alone, and they'll find their way home....
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I found SBs post and retyped it on Chai's thread. Read it. Great advice from a very insightful poster.
M 25 yrs, 3 teens
Dday 12/07
5ish False Recoveries (all in 2008)
12/08 WH moves in w/OW, her kids
Plan B/D/FU -- depending on the day
He files 1/09; D final 12/2012
"I'm moving on"
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Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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It mentions the wails of OW being loud...and WH complaining about how awful OW is... I've always appreciated SB's fluency with the language, but I don't know that this post actually lays out how to know that the A is over, and I think some of it is actually quite conflicting. The business of the loud wailing of the OW, the business of the WH complaining about his former affair partner...that just sits all wrong, to me. I certainly did not experience this in my sitch, and would have been very worried if I had. I wouldn't want to hear my H putting in all the effort that is required to complain about his affair partner. I looked for regret and remorse, not baggage from the A. I also required positive actions toward healing our M, not complaints about his scummy affair partner.  I asked my questions and got my answers. After that, that person was no longer a recognized person in our lives. Perhaps SB was throwing in a little theatrical flair 
Last edited by maritalbliss; 04/21/12 02:18 PM. Reason: Completing the thought
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Referring to SB's post on Chai's thread ... I reckon it can be explained more in terms of love bank balances.
It demonstrates the Wayward has clearly a low or almost negative love bank for his adultery partner. It also shows how lovebusters in their relationship (freeloader/renter) drained the love quickly for the the two adulterous baboons.
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Referring to SB's post on Chai's thread ... I reckon it can be explained more in terms of love bank balances.
It demonstrates the Wayward has clearly a low or almost negative love bank for his adultery partner. It also shows how lovebusters in their relationship (freeloader/renter) drained the love quickly for the the two adulterous baboons. Or it can be two adulterers in a 'lovers' spat'. That's prime grounds for a false recovery.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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To me?
The difference in his reaction after the false recovery- when the affair was truly over and there was no contact was giant.
He was mourning and sad and deflated when the affair was exposed and ended for good. Beginning withdrawal, so to speak.
It took much longer to reach indifference with OW- and there is no hatred . Which I like- because hate is an emotion that takes energy , and indifference requires none. And I don't want any of his emotional energy spent on someone who is not a factor in our current lives or future.
Thanks for all the support along the way.
I wish you all well. I'm outta here.
Peace.
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