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So the other day my H left his FB page up when he went to work. Out of curiosity I checked out what all he had. One thing I found bothers me.

One of his friends sent him an email about kissing another girl. This guy is married with 2 kids. His wife dotes on him all the time (my H has commented that he wishes I would be more like her in that aspect) and is 100% into being his wife and mother of their kids.

He said that after kissing this OW he felt guilty but that the next morning he didn't. I know his wife needs to know about this but my delima is this: since my H found out about my A this couple doesn't like me for what I did and doesn't want anything to do with me. It's ironic that the H is cheating now. I know that if I say anything they all will take it as me being vindictive. I'm not, but I'm seriousily bothered byhis actions.

How should I approach this subject? My H doesn't know I checked his FB so that will be a sore spot too.

psc, why not pick up the phone and give her a call? Tell her what you found and ask her to just go look on her H's facebook account herself and preferably leave your name out of it.

And your H has no reason to be sore about your looking on his facebook. You have a right to know every word he utters on the computer. There should be no secrecy in marriage. You should be checking it.

I know I need to call her but I guess my problem is trying to stay anonymous. Even if I don't give my name they will know it's me.

Put yourself in her shoes. Would you rather have someone - even someone you don't care for - tell you about your H's A, or be kept in the dark?

Why do you want to stay anonymous?

There is no way you can stay anonymous anyway. You have to have evidence to back up your claim and your evidence is an email on FACEBOOK to your H. Who else would know about that if not your H's wife?

"Hi, Facebook Friend's Wife? This is psc_77. I wanted to let you know that I read an upsetting post from your H on my H's Facebook, and I think you need to know about it. I know I would want someone to tell me if the shoe was on the other foot."

To hell with anonymity.

You all are right. It shouldn't matter who she found out from or the fact that I saw my H's FB. I guess I just get scared of backlash toward me since I was the one that had the A not my H. B/c these people don't like me, everything I do that isn't in their favor comes across to them like I'm out to get them. Unfortunately my H and I aren't at a place just yet where he trusts me much and I'm trying to build that trust. I know their opinions shouldn't matter to me but to my H they do. I know I'm right in this situation. Maybe I should talk to my H first and let him know I'm not trying to sabatoge anything but that she needs to know like he needed to know about me. If that makes sense at all.

Don't make it bigger than it is by asking permission from your H (which is really what you'd be doing.) I think on a level you presume that he would tell you not to call, so you'd be off the hook about exposing FF's A.

It doesn't matter what their opinion of you is in this situation. A great harm is happening to someone and you know about it. What are you going to do?