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I would do all the exposing at once, all today...like a bandaid you want to rip off all at one time. If you drag this exposure out you will negate the hard work you have done in Plan A. Because the exposure is being done so late you might consider extending your Plan A just a few days so he leaves with a sweet and not a bitter taste in his mouth...
Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance!
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Well I think I am done with the exposing now. She has 289 friends but I wrote to all of the people with the same last name as hers. I am sure the word will spread around the family if I didn't get the brother and mother. I am still going to Plan A till Friday. We are all off next Saturday and I could send my kids to my sister's house and do it then. I am not totally sure. I am still going to Plan A and we will see what happens with this now.
I really needed a pick me up to end my GLORIOUS week ;D
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING  Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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Check your own settings on FB too. I just checked mine. Many of the things in my profile that were previously hidden from all but my friends are now visible to everyone including my photos and info! I am considerind deleting my account.
God's Blessings,
Say
Me, BW-57
FWH 54
4 kids and 4 grandbabies between us
In recovery since D-day, May 28,2007
FWH never onboard the MB boat but still clinging to the side.
One day at a time by God's grace.
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Yes, he will be livid. The waywards hate the fantasy bubble being disturbed and they obviously don't think that they, themselves are worth fighting for (must have low opinions of their 'entitled' selves)
Keep the bravery through any stuff he flings your way. Calmness. Kindness. Lovingness despite the dreadful situation.
Plan A through the days til B.
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say, Scotland didn't send it to the OW, she sent these pics to her H...I still think it was a great Plan A move. ITA!!!!!.....when in Plan A a BS is sometimes torn between what they can/should/ought/should not/can't do...and sometimes when one is too busy weighting out the pro's and con's they miss a great Plan A opportunity...... If her marriage doesn't make it, Scotland can look back at her Plan A and know she did EVERYTHING possible to try and save it..... Kudos to you again.... not2fun
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There's no reason to stop at just her family for sending out a message.
This OW is a piece of poop on a stick right now, if you can rock her world
upside down, go for it.
She will for certain go ballistic and take it out on WH.
The idea being that WH will major LB'd by her and she may seem
more trouble than what she is worth.
Go for the whole list of friends.
Remember you are only stating the truth, you aren't slandering her.
M'd 22 years
BW-me
D-Day 08/08 LTA
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My understanding about FB is they reset everyone's settings, but you just need to manually set yourself up to the way you want it again...
Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance!
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My understanding about FB is they reset everyone's settings, but you just need to manually set yourself up to the way you want it again... When I logged into FB for the first time since they made their changes, I had to click on a pop-up to acknowledge the changes. Getting past that, I found all my changes as I had left them (but I don't have a lot of granular restrictions, either).
Preach the Gospel every day. When necessary, use words.
St. Francis of Assissi
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Vitt- I don't think FB allows mass mailings like that; spam controls and such...
Scotland my dear, you are AMAZING! Whether you get a chance at healing your M or just your 'self', please know that there are many BS's on here that applaud you and support you!
I wish I had had the b*lls you're showing when I found out of my H's infidelity; it took me a year or so to find mine!
Me BS
H FWS
DDay 10/2007
Actively recovering, learning, loving, earning a better marriage!
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She will for certain go ballistic and take it out on WH.
The idea being that WH will major LB'd by her and she may seem
more trouble than what she is worth. Quoted For Truth. The Other Man getting furious at me and taking it out on my wife was a key, critical moment. It was the moment she stopped falling deeper into the fog and began to have moments of lucidity. Just had to get that Love Bank balance down below the "Other Person can do no wrong and I'm so in luuuuvvvv" level. Another key was that while he was furious, and she was furious... I wasn't. I stayed calm and didn't respond with anger.
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Bottlerocket, I'm thinking that if she had the venue to send to the 'same last names',
then she would be able to send to all OW's friends.
broken_soul did this I'm fairly sure.
The only thing I wondered was, don't you have to be accepted as a friend before you can send someone else's friend a message.
I'm not FB savvy, I diddle on my kids FB.
I was prepared to do this with FOW's FB friends but thought I had to befriend her
first, which I figured she would deny.
M'd 22 years
BW-me
D-Day 08/08 LTA
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Bottlerocket, I'm thinking that if she had the venue to send to the 'same last names',
then she would be able to send to all OW's friends.
broken_soul did this I'm fairly sure.
The only thing I wondered was, don't you have to be accepted as a friend before you can send someone else's friend a message.
I'm not FB savvy, I diddle on my kids FB.
I was prepared to do this with FOW's FB friends but thought I had to befriend her
first, which I figured she would deny. You know, I'm still learning FB myself, so it's worth a try, the most FB could do is not deliver the msg. I do know for sure that you don't have to be a friend to somebody to send them a msg.
Me BS
H FWS
DDay 10/2007
Actively recovering, learning, loving, earning a better marriage!
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Bottlerocket, I'm thinking that if she had the venue to send to the 'same last names',
then she would be able to send to all OW's friends.
broken_soul did this I'm fairly sure.
The only thing I wondered was, don't you have to be accepted as a friend before you can send someone else's friend a message.
I'm not FB savvy, I diddle on my kids FB.
I was prepared to do this with FOW's FB friends but thought I had to befriend her
first, which I figured she would deny. One way around that is to do individual friend requests to all of HER friends. When you're doing a friend request, you also have the option of sending a "message" with it. Those that want to communicate will accept her request.
Last edited by princessmeggy; 12/11/09 04:35 PM.
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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There's no reason to stop at just her family for sending out a message. I agree. Go after her friends too. You want to put as much pressure on her to end the A as possible. No reason to stop w/ just her family.
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Grab her friends, before she has a chance to relock her FB.
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After all, she's cheating with a married man. She deserves no mercy.
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I noticed that about the FB changes. Went into my page and my privacy settings were maintained at "friends only". But my pages and groups are visible to all now---no way to change that. I don't like that.
However, I was able to get into a bit more of OW's FB page photos because some of her friends hadn't changed their privacy settings and commented on her photos. I wish she weren't so darn good looking. Same age as me and looks 10 years younger!
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Flick and I have FB and when I checked ours this morning every single setting is set to "friends only". if someone searches for either of us they do not even get to see a profile picture. Just our IRL names.
Also I have sent people messages on FB without ever befriending them, I assume it's because they have not disabled that fuinction themselves.
Recovered marriage, recovering self, life gets better everyday
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Mine are set to "friends only" but there is a button you can click that says something like "see your profile the way the public views it" and when I did that, it brought up my picture, my pages and my groups. Almost everyone to whom I'm NOT friended---I can see their pics, pages and groups.
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One way around that is to do individual friend requests to all of HER friends. When you're doing a friend request, you also have the option of sending a "message" with it. Those that want to communicate will accept her request. Can you say..Cut and paste? lol Great job scotland you GO girlfren. Keep us posted and stay strong..
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