Ahh, well when I did the same I got a blank page with a blue face, mt IRL name and a messages that said 'Lil only shares info with her friends; or something similar.

Under the privacy settings have you set EVERYTHING to friends only? Setting things to friends of friends makes more stuff publicaly avaialble, and I have discovered that since PQ and I were both Flicks friends for a while, that even tho he deleted that account and has a completly new one (didnt just change the old one) I still can see her FB page. I assume its because of the friends of friends setting since I have asked a few FB friends to go look and they get blocked.

You can send messages without being friends. They have the option to block you if they don't want additional messages, but by then who cares?

FWIW, I'm very much in favor of the pix. There's always some risk of something being spread, but to me it would be worth it. (Unless some really kinky photos existed and then got out, I don't think it would impact custody. Most judges aren't going to care that a wife sent risque pix to her lawful husband.)

Everybody has their own threshold on this, and that's ok.

Lil, I wonder if the FB privacy settings are more lenient in the USA. EVERYTHING I have is set to "ONLY FRIENDS". I double and triple checked.

That's because she didn't get stuck working three jobs to support her husband.

I am sure she realized what happened and change her FB privacy settings. It is because of the new settings that they put in. I got one response back and all it said was "I know OW but I don't know you". WH is very distant today but totally not talking about any of it.

I can't get in trouble with FB because I am just looking up her friends and cut and pasting the message over and over again.

GL to me

I kept trying to touch him, my new favourite game, but he kept trying to get away. He still hasn't found the photos on his phone because they are still there. He erased the texts and threw away the letters without even acknowledging them to me. I don't need him to talk to me about them, I know by him pulling away that they are getting to him.

Just before I came down to check on my thread, I touched his shoulder. He jumped and then pulled his blanket over his shoulder and tucked it right in. I waited a couple of minutes and then I came down. I will touch him again while I am in bed with him and I will cuddle as close as I can. He is the one who chose to keep sleeping in the bed after all

As for why he is waiting until February, it was my idea at first. He told me he was thinking about leaving me on September 20th. I told him that he could leave November 1st. He told me that was too soon. Then I said that if he didn't leave then, then he wouldn't be able to leave until February so as to not ruin Xmas for the kids or our youngest son's bday who is in January.

The funny thing is that when I talked to OW on that bad night, she made it sound like it was WH's idea. I made sure that I told her that it was funny she thought that was his idea, but it was actually mine. I was hoping to poke a couple of holes in her fantasy bubble of him. Even on the keylogger he made himself sound good. The first thing he said was that he would brb because he was making dinner. I yelled at the screen "liar, I already fed the kids and you were just warming up the dinner I left for you. TURD"

Well, one day their little fantasy bubble will crack. Who knows how long and where I will be then but either way I will be happy to know I did everything in my power to save my M.

I still have HOPE and FAITH. Sometimes the universe sends me funny little signs of encouragement and sometimes it sends me strange cruel signs.

I will share this one funny incident with you. I work at the customer service counter of a MAJOR retailer. I had a lady come up to me and ask if I could page her friend for her. I said "Sure what is her name?" She said OW's name (NO JOKE). I inhaled deeply but did my job. She walked away. Then she returned a minute later and said "Do you know So-in SO" I said "Yes I went to college with him" She said, "I used to date him and he took me to your wedding." I just smiled and she walked away. Then I looked up and said "Now that was MEAN" My friends said things like that could only happen to me. Gotta laugh it off sometimes.

Waywards sure DO embellish/lie to their other people.

Mine would tell his that he took our youngest to a movie to impress her with his gentleness as a father and would leave out the fact that I went with them! LOL. And so on and so on.

You know that they have to lie to the other people. That is why the affairs can not realistically survive the test of time. Sure, they lie to us but hopefully the marriages were not originally built on lies....the lies came to live the double lives. Their bedrock is more solid than the affairs are.

Hehe...rofl

yur doin great lol reminds me of an old Bill Cosby album about his brother Russell and him in bed as kids. "Your Pajamas are touching my side of the bed" and one of them starts yelling "Stop touching meee!"

Mine (on chat that I captured with a keylogger) would tell OW he had to 'go put ds9 to bed.' Gag. He has put ds to bed maybe 4 times in 9 years and certainly NOT that night. He had to go because he knew I was suspicious. What a joke.

I kept the keylogger on several weeks before I busted him out...another time he decided to make a garden for me (something I'd asked for for a few years) and told OW on chat that he was doing it but failed to mention that it was FOR me. I opened my FB wide open and posted pics and said, 'Look at what my sweet husband made for me!'

((((Scotland)))),

Good morning sweetie!!...Good job on the FB exposure. You are doing wonderful....

I LOVE that you have made a game of the touching....
It's little things like this that help keep your sanity during this....speaking of sanity, what have you done for yourself lately???....A new sweater perhaps??, maybe a pedi???...Remember what Pep said, take care of your Taker from time to time to keep it at bay when the going gets tough....It's hard to keep her still!!!!

Are you eating healthy??..(or at all....)
Getting enough sleep???...(do we really ever???)
Exercising at all??....(a kickboxing class will do WONDERS for your Taker....you can imagine OW or WH while punching the crap outta that bag...as long as your can refrain from hurting yourself???)
Have you taken up a new hobby??...(besides the "touching" game)

This is all very important to YOUR well being.

You are doing an amazing job....I am so very proud of you....


not2fun

ps...Don't waste too much time worrying about her being pretty or looking 10 yrs younger...On the inside, she is an empty, hollow shell of a real human being.....Ya know, I personally think Naomi Campbell is gorgeous, but she is a real turd of a person......not somebody I would truly want to have as a friend.

This is interesting. Does your WH really want to leave you? Maybe in his twisted wayward mind, he's hoping there will be another reason in Feb. why he can't leave.

I don't think he really wants to leave you.

Oh, he doesn't want anything to get in the way of the high he's getting from his A...hense the pulling away from you. But, he's hestitant about leaving you.

Plan A...

Give him a reason to stay.

Make the REAL Scotland a better choice than the fantasy of OW.

Keep up the pressure on the AFFAIR rather than on him.

Make staying and ending the affair easier than leaving and continuing it.

In other words...

Keep doing what you're doing.

Mark

Ok so I came home from work ready to make dinner. WH had already made dinner and said "You and the boys can eat. I'm not hungry." I said "oh no? why aren't you hungry?" He said "I've been eating all day long" Then I noticed that he had also done laundry and baked brownies. He asked me if it was busy at work and I said "Yes" and he said "oh cuz I was gonna go look at stuff" I responded with "Oh looking for christmas presents?". He NEVER buys anything for anyone for xmas, bdays etc. That's always me.

Then he started getting ready to go out. Just before he left I walked up to him held his arm and said "I cannot accept a M where you have a gf. Thanx for making dinner for us." and then I gave his arm a squeeze and walked away. I believe he is either intending to go see her or buy her a christmas gift. He followed me and said "does that mean that if I come home tonight after you are asleep I will be locked out of the room?" I simply said "I will not talk to you when you are angry" He said "I am NOT angry. I just want a yes or no." I said "You are breaking my heart." Then he said "So I guess that means that you ARE gonna lock me out." I said "I already invited you back into my room." He said "Oh I like how it's YOUR room," (oops I know I shoulda said OUR room, I goofed) "I guess I am sleeping in the truck then." I simply responded with "you are breaking my heart, thanks again for dinner." I didn't want to engage with him because I was already close to crying.

he just left. I hope I handled myself ok because I don't want to ruin all of the hard work I have done so far. It was a little funny right before he started getting ready to go out. I had written him a note this morning and left it on his wallet. I thought he would have found it before then but apparently not. He looked at it and then walked in to the living room with it trying to figure out what to do with it. Then he walked behind me, in to the kitchen and threw it away. Well, at least he read it first hehehehehe

(((((Scotland)))))),

you did very well honey. You made your point, exceedingly well, especially since you'll be heading into Plan B soon. It is GOOD that he knows your pain, as long as it is delivered in a non-LBing fashion (which was something I was SOOOOOO not good at doing....). You did great....

Now, don't lock him out...... in fact, I think its might be a little warm tonight...better wear something "light", that is, unless you prefer the buff


not2fun

Your latest interaction was spot on plan A....good!

Keep up the plan.

I agree that it might be a bit warmish and you might want to sleep appropriately....lol.

You were amazing! He IS afraid of upsetting you. He wants both of you. So, you are doing exactly what you need to do - showing him how amazing it is at home, and also showing him that you have boundaries. Great work! He will definitely remember all you're doing. And what YOU have to offer compared to her...well, I wouldn't place too many bets on her.

Thanx. I was having a bit of a down day. I was feeling a little anxious at work and when I got home and saw all that he did I was wondering WHY? Then he said he was going out. Light Bulb on. Then I did notice during the time when he was questioning me about locking him out (which of course I never intended on doing again) I noticed that this time he didn't threaten me with going to sleep in someone else's bed. He did that last time.

I also noticed that he is trying to be extra nice to the kids and that is driving me NUTTY. Don't get me wrong, I WANT him to be good to our kids but him leaving is the worst thing he could do to them and that's what he is intending to do.

A couple of my friends said that maybe he is trying to give them good memories of him before he is gone. I think it is because he is feeling GUILTY and he is trying to make up for it.

Now with only 6 days left till Plan B, I wonder a little. What if he DOESN'T go? I am planning on putting his things on the front porch and putting the Plan B letter on top. Then I send the kids to my sister's and......well that's where I am stuck. Should I be around? Some of my friends think I should be gone too but I will just sit and wonder if he is gone yet.

He should be home by 6 but since it is my birthday and he is trying to avoid me, I think he will actually come home late. I intend to send him a text at 630 if he isn't home yet saying "You need to come home, it's important" After that, I don't know what to say or do. Any suggestions?

You see? This is what I mean. He's NOT thinking like a man who's at all ready to leave you.

Why wouldn't he think of it as YOUR room? If he's planning on moving out in Feb..

You did BEAUTIFULLY today! Couldn't have done better.

You are really remarkable.

I hope you praised him for it. Admired him.



Guilt is part of it for sure. But, I also think he is actually giving to YOU, Scotland. This might be the only way he can give back to you for the way you've been Plan Aing him, where he feels as though he isn't "cheating" on OW.

I did tell him thanx for doing the laundry and I mentioned him making the brownies.

Marsh-BTW thanx a bunch, I had never thought of it that way and I actually teared up a bit. It does seem a little crazy to me that he would worry about cheating on OW. That is just NUTTY but I understand it. He is in love with her and he does have some values even if they did get a bit screwy in our M.

I think I may send him a text message tonight too just to put a wrench in to their alone time. Maybe something a little flirty about being in bed with him tonight and how I can't wait. Wow Plan A can be fun when you make it in to games. I almost look at it as sweet revenge with a twist.