Hi everyone. Just popping my head in to say hello and see how things are going around here.
To anyone here who doesn't know me, I am Rock. Once I was Rockbottom, then Rocksolid. Today I'm not sure what I should be called. Anyway, I am the poster-boy for what not to do as far as recovery goes. I came here for advice about three years ago and received quite a bit from many kind-hearted and caring people here. Unfortunately I was gripped by fear and/or plain stupidity and I heeded none of the advice that I was given.

My wife of 20 years now had become a serial cheater. I literally cannot count the number of affairs that she has had. I did very little as far as exposing or anything else like that to try put a stop to things. I guess the way I handled things was to sit back in stunned silence and had hoped or thought that eventually someone who did such terrible things would magically just snap out of it and see the evil of their ways. That never happens, nor does it look like that it will ever happen. There are no signs of any remorse.

Anyway, most of you all know my story. I won't get into all of that. I just want to let any newcomers here to please listen to the vets here and follow their advice. They know what they are talking about and will lead you in the right way.
That's all I've got for now,
Rock

Hi Rock,

Thanks for the feedback. As I recall, you pulled out after she left to chase other men.

I think that the object of plan B/D is to stay far away from the alien. Is there a reason that D is not written at the signature column?

I hope that the music has not left your soul.

Rock, I don't know your story but from what you've said--it sounds pretty awful.

Are you still there? Are you just still sitting there doing nothing and enduring this abuse? If you are, let me ask you "why?"

Why would you be a doormat like this?

DITTO

In the belief that other peoples' experiences can be of benefit, let me just give you a small vignette from last night:

I went to a Christmas party and yes, later in the evening the guitars and a banjo (!) were pulled out and Christmas carols were sung (someone had even put together a book of lyrics!).

Now, I can't carry a tune in a bucket. But I was urged to join in and finally I threw caution to the wind and did. Now I know I'm no Caruso/Pavarotti/etc., but no one tried to shut me up, and you know what? I had fun!

I had a number of people tell me one-on-one last night that they were impressed and glad to see that I was "engaging" in activities. To which I responded, "What else can I do? It's either move forward or stay stuck in my pity pot."

FRED-0!

Thanks for sharing that story!

It was a literal musical soulful moment.

Many Blessings for you, my dear. MANY !

'Rock', hey brother I just posted this thread to a guy who is in a situation to yours, he is just post Dday however.