You're still missing the boat. You have to tell EVERYONE - not just her mom. Exposure means massive exposure, so that she KNOWS the jig is up, and she will no longer be able to pretend she is doing anything remotely close to honorable.

If you can't expose to everyone on Sunday, wait til you can.

Cat -sorry, i am going to tell everyone. I was just going to start with mom. THx

tomorrow!

Would it be bad if I just let mom read my post? I want her to know why we need to expose everyone and I want her to know that I do care enough to find you guys aand get help.

I think they should all read it. Go right ahead. But if you think any of them would take her 'side,' I'd hold back, cos they'll go running to her and show it to her, and then you wouldn't be able to use MB any more - she would use it against you.

good point. Wow! I am so glad I have you guys. howabout I will print out the emails and snipits of the chat that really expose them and some info about what the plan is. I won't tell people where I got the info but its obvious i have been snooping and righfully so.

Going to a xmas party at a friends with the family. I'll be back later.

Ok. I am having difficulties here. I want to expose A asap but I find myself not wanting to ruin xmas. not for her and i but for the kids. If this has the effect you guys say it will, then i think it will be very bad for all especially kids. Can i last that long? Maybe! I know everyday I dont do it it gets worse. I think her mom might even about the OM. W and I were snuggling on the couch watching Polar express and mom came over. WWhen she got there she said hi and looked at WW with a what r u doing look. Then WW slides over a little to where we weren't touching anymore. Could all be in my head, but with both of them there and my brain in mush I felt very small and depressed.

I was going to do it tomorrow, but my sister wanted me to wait until she got a hold of a lawyer.She wants to protect me and the boys in the worst way. She may have one tomorrow. But i guess it wont matter if I wait until after xmas.

??????Any thoughts???????

Waiting til the day or days after Christmas will still ruin Christmas, allover. It will all turn into a blur for your kids. And you'll have to tell your kids, you know. They have to understand what she's doing, that she's making a mistake, because otherwise they'll blame themselves for the problems.

IMO, if you do it now, you've got almost two weeks to work through it, and reach some sort of resolution.

I would add that, under no circumstances should YOU leave your house or your kids. SHE is the one having the affair. If she wants to keep OM, SHE gets to leave her kids behind. Be VERY firm on that.

Thx cat. Your right. We would have 2 wks to work on it. I am going to tell her she has to leave if she cant be around me. Thats kinda why I want to be represented incase I have to get a protection order agianst her like PSUBiker mentioned. I dont want to take any chances of losing my boys even for one minute. I plan on taking V time from work after the exposure. Or should I just go and let her be alone? when you say not to leave my house or kids I assumed you meant even to go to work. Is that rght?

Ok, when I get a lawyer lined up (and I dont need everything setup first) I will commence X-Day.
I feel like such a heel. You guys keep giving great advice and I keep trying to find ways around it. I dont mean to so please dont get discouraged!

I am going to gt documents ready 2nit just incase and grab WW address book and program everyone I can in my phone.

Well, I exposed the affair today. Not happy with the results but they are as expected. I didn't reach the OMW or some of her friends but I got few to call.

She said that I was hurting are chances by telling everyone because now everyone hates her. I explained to her thats not true we all love you and support you.

She admitted to seeing him in cinci but only for drinks. I kept explaining to her we have to be open and honesty over and over again, but we need to. If we are going to move on she needed to tell me everything. And I know she hasn't.

Here's one I have issue with: She threatened to leave me if I told OMW about the affair. How do I handle that one???

EXPOSE IMMEDIATELY to OM's W.

WW is banking on you wimping out.

Force the issue.

You do not appease her into staying with you. You do not give in on killing the affair just so that she will not leave you. If you do not kill the affair she will leave you.

Look at it this way: She's left already, if not in fact, then in mind. As a result, the ONLY thing that you can do is kill the affair.

NOTHING else can happen until the affair is dead. Do you understand? DEAD!

Failing to do everything you can to kill the affair means you've lost already. I can't be any clearer on this than that.

Tell OMW. It's the best way to kill the affair.
If she leaves because you stand up for your marriage, then she's not worth having around in the first place.

I love you guys so much! I am trying to get a hold of her but OM keeps answering.

Go to their house.
Wait outside.
When you see OMW - go up to her and, in person, expose the affair.

Use speed-dial & keep calling.

Send registered mail.

You'll get through to her eventually.

He knows this.

Maybe your wife won't dig him so much after he's done wetting himself.