I love this guy!!!

Hmmmm.

But no refuting the fact that you call your husband a "prarie poop" I see.

Tsk, tsk, NCW. Take care ML doesn't take a pot shot at your stick there. I'm not sure it's really up to a Texas-sized competitor!!

tl

melodylane

"What a mess I was!!"

Was?

I hate bag lettuce, so I have go against you, and get your H's back. Is it because men being from Mars prefer head more then bag?

To me the bag represents defective lettuce. The head was of inferior quality so only part of it could be sold.

Whether or not I could afford it it would annoy me to pay two dollars more. That .99 and 2.99 is only a two dollar difference. In those words two dollars is not much. In these words: three times more, would make me mad that I would be getting ripped off.

Almost mad enough to move to texas so I could get a colt peacemaker to vent my anger.

Any way, what did Dr Harley say for you to handle your lack of shopping skills.

Nope, nope and nope.

If a person views SF as "currency", more than likely that person is going to have big time marital/relationship problems. I believe most people think of their bodies as private and personal, not currency for exchange. Otherwise a body is reduced to being nothing special and we would become mere wh@res. If society viewed marriage strictly as survival or a barter system then maybe...I hope we never get to that point.

If SF is currency, we should all be teaching our children, especially our daughters, that they should give it up if a date pays for dinner in preparation for what they should expect from their spouses.

Or maybe we should tell our soon to be married that SF is as important to the marriage as conversation is. That SF is not only expected, but is needed. SF should be openly discussed between S with frequency variation for compatibility.

Society has alos taught us that divorce is ok, that even though you are "one" in everything else, SF is different and it's your right to withold from S if they're not the best at picking what type of lettice to buy!!!

I have all sons. I tell them if I hear you griping about how they pay for everything on a date, I'll beat them like a dog. A boy can get an in style outfit AND a haircut for about $60.

A girl? Make-up, outfit, hairstyle, all to look good for the ungrateful kid, what's that $200? AND - she has to change her outfits every season.... call me old fashioned, my boys pay.

And the question is - IS it currency?

I say no, it is too important. All the associated vulnerabilities with it, and it says so much more than words. And THAT's why when one partner is withholding they have to treat it VERY seriously, or it BECOMES either a weapon OR currency. It's like declaring war, shouldn't be taken lightly....

Right. If we as the parent's don't discuss sex at a much deeper level than how it biologically works and how not to get pregnant, who are our kids going to learn it from?

a) their peers - who ALSO don't understand it
b) TV Sitcoms - who make a joke about it

It makes your kids uncomfortable. Heck yes it does, they think you are perfect, comes from raising them. They don't even want to THINK that you had sex. But MAN UP. You don't avoid something because it makes you uncomfortable.

NCWalker, those of us still reading this thread are living proof that you are correct. Here we are, adults, married (or previously married), completely stumped on this very issue. Why? Because we were never properly taught! Because we went through life trying to figure it out as we went along! Now here we are discussing it on an anonymous BB. How many here would feel comfortable discussing this face to face with someone? Anyone? Even your spouse? And of those that have discussed this with their spouse - obviously the spouse isn't fully comfortable with it or you wouldn't need to be here trying to figure out what to try next!

Actually, I feel completely unqualified to discuss it since I don't know the answers and I'm still learning. My parents never discussed it with me. All my mom ever said was it's just a way for men to get their jollies (basically implying it's a chore for wives). I never discussed this with my son and he married a very religious girl who has strict views on SF (I've actually talked to her about it). But I'm afraid she lacks the real depth of information we've been touching on in this thread. They are both young to be married so I hope they work it out. Actually, it gives me an idea for them for Christmas - anyone want to recommend the best MB book for a young married couple still madly in love with no problems yet??

"His Needs/Her Needs" - AND the reason is this....

People don't like to be told they have a problem, and YOUNG people like to say "That'll never be me ..."

HNHN just recognizes that there IS a difference in needs. The tone of the book is "Look at this" not "YOU look at this".

You want them to embrace the concepts themselves, not read it because mom said so...

Tabby,

google marriage mission. I sent some article links to my wife and she "got it" when I did that and thanked me. Mind you there are more issues on that site than just sex, but it gives a man's (or woman with high drive) point of view.

I didn't know Canadians celebrated Christmas!?! (JK, W is dual citizen).

Do they have McDonalds up there?

NC,

I do have to remind you that Dr. H is very much lopsided toward women. Gawd I'm sorry ladies, but other threads debating about why there is no "Why Men Leave Women" and such. Oh, I'm not saying it extreme, but look at the fact that women look for these types of books way more than men, so even the MB is geered toward spouses/relationship the marketing is more pointed to women.

LOL! Yes, we celebrate Christmas but it is just a prelude to Boxing Day. That is when you put everything you got back into its box and take it back to the store.

Is there any place left in the world without McDonalds?

Antarctica?

They don't eat McDonalds. But they line up for blocks at a place called "Tim Horton's."

What's really strange, is that SO MANY of them vacation in Florida, that there are now "Tim Horton's" THERE, too.

{Listen to me use the word "them" like they're aliens or something. :)}

Yes, We call it boxing day as well now- married 15 years. Kids call Aunt/Uncle and G-ma on COLUMBUS DAY to wish them Happy Thanksgiving. LOL!

Kidding about McDs. Most of my grad school roomates were kanucks and I would just get them going acting like it was a third world country!!!

NC,

If you talk with pastors, they'll act like they either got it together, that's the way it is, or you are doing something wrong in the M. We finally went to a pastor and he admitted his M has the same problem (how candid is that!). Needless to say, we didn't got back to him. If he hasn't figured it out how is he going to help us?

I think we almost set kids up. "Sex is a wonderful thing in M, wait and you'll see, blah blah blah". Then you wait to find out that your S doesn't care for it, doesn't like it, thinks it's dirty, only does it once in a while when your eyes are crosseyed from frustration, and then only 1 style with a, "are you done yet?".

I've heard pastors who had the balls enough to preach on it, but never addressed the consequences of not doing it.

I'll point out 1Corinthians 7:5. If you are a bible believer or even put some faith in its advice you'll notice this verse SAYS NOT TO DEPRIVE IN ORDER THAT YOU BE NOT TEMPTED (tempted to what?).

My issue with this thread...

themud and his complaining about how lopsided Dr. H's advice is...geez, if the shoe fits...it's a bit like a lion complaining about everyone picking on him because he likes meat. If you perceive it as lopsided, then it is, but if you look at it from the middle, not from one side or the other, then you'll see it takes two to repair a marriage.

And NC's statements like...



and


OK, so HE has valid reasons, and she is just saying no to say no.

It's not about her vs. he, and couples that get caught in that type of power struggle are doomed until they can grow up and work together.

She holds out...he asks for too much...she spends too much...he is not happy with the way I look...she nags...he doesn't follow through...

And ALL of these are complaints that are better able addressed with your partner. If you feel you cannot resolve it with your partner and you talk with anyone else about it, then I would be willing to venture there are other problems in your M than just this problem, namely communication problems, and lack of respect and love.

Gonna pick on the guys here because the men's posts are the one's triggering me the most to write back, if you are coming here complaining about your W and not working it out with her...then what are you hoping to get? A group of people on your side? So you can beat her over the head with "But these people think I'm right..." What if, total strangers cannot tell you what is right or wrong in your situation because they are no there and only hearing one side of it. What if the best people to work out this problem are you and your W? And what if you both share blame and responsibility in this?

Oh we love joking in Canada. Just don't make fun of my dog sled team!!!!

And I don't know how you all get by without Timmies. I lived there for 3 years and there's nothing even remotely similar!!!! Glad to hear Florida is coming around. They have them in Buffalo and other border towns.

Heck, we visited for a week and got hooked on Tim's...