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need to know how to accept
#2288998 12/14/09 06:59 PM
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together11 Offline OP
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together11
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i had an affair on my husband and trying to work things out so i think. what can i do for him to understand i only want him now other man long out of picture. all i hear his hatred in his voice and hes a name caller
Re: need to know how to accept
together11 #2289000 12/14/09 07:03 PM
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ouchthathurt Offline
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How long ago did you cheat? What is the back story?
Re: need to know how to accept
ouchthathurt #2289002 12/14/09 07:08 PM
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6yearsleft Offline
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Together,

One good place to start might be to consider what he might want. An A is the ultimate in cruel selfishness, so I can see why he would not give a crap about what you want right now.


Me 42 BS
Wife 41 FWW (exwife now)
Divorced 10/14/2008
S 21
D 18
D 16
S, S 13 (twins)
Grandson 8 months
Re: need to know how to accept
ouchthathurt #2289005 12/14/09 07:10 PM
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together11 Offline OP
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my affair ended back in august of this year 2009. and i am beside myself for allowing this to happen. he was all in and now hes not. what went wrong from then until now. weve bn together for 11 yrs and went through many affairs that he did to me. now that he is on other end its different. my affair happened with an employee and has ended sinse then no contact at all but did not quit after my husband found out still kept working and that made it worse. dont think i would have learned of his if it had not been for mine
Re: need to know how to accept
6yearsleft #2289007 12/14/09 07:13 PM
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together11 Offline OP
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fair enough so what do i do now he wants me to be his caterer and tell him all which i did. how long is punishment and when does the recovery start and i do i approach him to get it back on track
Re: need to know how to accept
together11 #2289008 12/14/09 07:14 PM
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Cliffs of Insanity
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writer1 Offline
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Cliffs of Insanity
First of all, you can stop creating different posts all over the site. This is your third thread, the second one that you started today in fact. Second, you can provide complete details about your situation instead of just dropping tidbits here and there.

Me: BS/FWW: 48
BS/WH: 50
DS: 30, 27, 25
DD: 28
OC: 10
BH and I are raising my OC together.
Re: need to know how to accept
together11 #2289040 12/14/09 07:59 PM
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MelodyLane Offline
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Texas
Originally Posted by together11
fair enough so what do i do now he wants me to be his caterer and tell him all which i did.

I am not sure what this means, but you had BY GOD better tell him all you did. He has a right to know. This is information about his life too.

Quote
how long is punishment and when does the recovery start

How long will HIS "punishment" last? What about the punishment of your affair? Where does he go to get relief from this? How long will he have to suffer because of your abuse?

Quote
and i do i approach him to get it back on track

Tell him the truth and stop feeling sorry for yourself. You are not the victim here, HE IS.

Did you quit working with your OM?

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101
Re: need to know how to accept
MelodyLane #2289068 12/14/09 08:36 PM
Joined: Nov 2005
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lousygolfer Offline
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Where is DUDE when we need him:

Quote
and went through many affairs that he did to me. now that he is on other end its different.


LG

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