He is at it again. I get a text on my phone that said, "Dear homeowner, if yo are struggling to make your mortgage payment or have a recent hardship, a modification can help. Respond(yes) to learn more about this." I sent a text to block this number. I have never received anything before and since he text me about the mortgage on Monday he had to have been the one to forward this from his phone when he checked his email or looked it up on his blackberry.

Please don't excercise this RIGHT at a TREE TRIMMING party. You have no idea what could break out at events like that. They are more dangerous than RAVES from what I hear..DUDE

Probably no tree-trimming party. Weather reports are calling for 12" - 15" of snow beginning tonight. If I run out of firewood, I may have a "tree burning" event, though!

Looks like I was wrong and WH did not send that text to my phone. One of my friends got the same message on her phone at the same time. I got upset for no reason, but I wouldn't have if he hadn't sent me that message on Monday. Now I am a little weepy at work. I feel awful. I know that I will have days like this but it doesn't make me feel any better. Right now I feel lost and hopeless. I just don't know what to do. Christmas Day will be exactly 5 months since my WH left me. I will be fine. My parents will be here and I will be at work at the hospital that day so I will have plenty of support. I will be off Christmas Eve and 3 days after Christmas.

Yeah, and we can call it "E-TRAYED"........

I like it! Maybe I've stumbled accross someone else cool on here. THANK GOD! DUDE

And who said nothing good can come from an affair???

For a mere ten bucks, www.etrayed.com is ALL MINE!!!!! I'm not joking. I just went and registered it this morning.

Although my marital sitch requires surgery, it's nice to know my entrepreneurial spirit is alive and kicking.......

Dude, you want in on halves of the gazillion bucks I'm sure to make off of this deal????

P.S. Traci, sorry for the T/J.

.....Google.com is bidding on the newly formed "ETrayed .com" as was reported on wall street this week...

Lets do it! Maybe we get betrayed, and STRIKE IT RICH whining about it! Then who gives a *+%*, RIGHT? DUDE

No has to say they are sorry onhere for what they especially to me. No one here could ever hurt as bad as I have already been hurt and am hurting now. As I told my friend today, I don't hate my life, just what hate what happened to it. All I want to do right now is cry. I dont think it has anything to do with the holidays but more to do with my emotional upheaval.

I'ld be interested in the rifles as well! No dirty underwear though...

You can rise above this! Don't let it get you down. You can shake betrayal. I've almost fully healed and its been about 18 months..DUDE

Hi Traci,

When I read your story, one thing that's pretty consistent is your strength, your confidence, and a clear sense of direction. This is just a bad patch. We've all experienced them in the past, and we'll all see them again at some point in the future.

You'll get through this. Don't ever lose sight of that. You have a lot to be thankful for. You know that.

Hang tough, Traci.

TB

Don't feel any better today. At least I am not weepy right now. Did cry a lot last night. Finished getting the border down in my bedroom and now all I have left to paint is a little bit behind my king size bed. I will need help getting that moved and then I will move the bed to another wall and rearrange the other furniture. I will be finished by Tuesdy night with everything including shampooing the carpet. My parents willbe here Wednesday. I'll have the rest of the house cleaned and smelling good by then too. Right now I just feel like giving up and I feel like my WH will get his divorce and marry the OW and they will have a child together and I will never get him back.

Sorry you are feeling so bad right now

It will pass..I know that it feels like it won't but it will. Be patient with yourself. You are awesome

I know this will pass but sure hate it now. Sometimes I would just like to sit on his chest and put my hands around his throat and strangle him while I am beating his head into the ground trying to knock some sense into him. The visual is too great for words. I just hate feeling like this and wish he is feeling bad too but I know that isn't happening. He is so HAPPY. He can bite me too.

It will pass but it takes time. As I once read on this board, you know things are better when you stop blowing your nose in your sheets. I spent many hours in bed sobbing... using the sheet to wipe my eyes and nose when the tissue box was empty. My bedstand was literally covered in wet Kleenex. I was amazed that a person could cry that much... that I COULD CRY THAT MUCH.

We hate them... we love them, but we hate them. We hate them for doing this to US. We've been loyal, and loving and life-giving and generous -- And OW -- she's an interloper who took our Hs for sport. Why? Because she could. And we're left holding down the fort and redecorating the bedroom and getting the house ready for visitors and Christmas. And we're trying to make everything "OK." Trying to make sure it appears to be a normal Christmas for the kids and our family and ourselves.

It's hard. This affair stuff is not for wussies. I wouldn't put this stress and strain on anyone else. Be thankful that you are a strong and capable woman who can deal with this. Because you CAN and you WILL because you have no other choice.

So be the best mom and daughter and sister and friend that you can be at the moment. If the house isn't perfect, who cares. If Christmas isn't exactly the same, who cares. Just plow ahead. You can't go back. Hard to not dwell on the past conversations or moments. But you have to move ahead.

Just know that you are not alone. There are many, many of us doing the same thing you are day in and day out.

You will be OK, Traci. YOU WILL.

I'm off to buy Christmas presents because that is what I WANT to do...

Feeling better now. Chocolate does cure most things for a while. Have a Christmas party to go to tonight after work. Plan on staying for a few hours since I have to work tomorrow. work has been a little slow lately even if we have been full in CVICU. I have been able to get my hours and everything has just been routine. Sometimes it has been boring but I don't care. Just glad to be working after about 6 months of only working about 24hrs a week. If it wasn't for my 2nd job I would have been unable to pay my bills. I am now able to pay for everything and have money left over. I am now able to pay cash for Christmas and it is nice. Plus I had to buy 2 new tires for my car and they are not cheap.

I'm so bad tonight at remembering quotes but there is one about when something bad happens it makes us stronger. Anyway - Traci - you have a lot going for you and you are going to be fine (with or w/o WS). The worst are the first months (for me the first six months). Eventually it will get better and Plan B will help because it separates you from his drama.



gg

Enjoyed my party last night even though I only stayed about 2 hours. Got half lit and then went home and started trying to move my armoir to a different wall from the middle of the bedroom. Most of my bedroom furniture is in the middle of the bedroom. Nothing funnier than a half lit woman in scrubs trying to move a large armoir(luckily it was empty). Tomorrow my youngest daughter is going to help me move my bed. Got a text from DD 19 today with a picture of a cute puppy in her lap. Text back who's puppy, figuring it was DD now 22. I was right. I said I don't think so and was told it was going to stay at daughter's boyfriends's place. She is living with him at the moment becasue it is convient to work and school. I told them that I know that eventually it will land up at my house and the puppy is half german Shepard, 1/4 pit bull and 1/4 greyhound. It will be huge when it grows up.