Hi all. Unfortunately, sad is the reason that brings me here. My wife and I have been married for 7 years, but thing went astray for 1 1/2 years now. We have a daughter that will turn 4 next January.
One and a half years ago, my wife, after a quite distressfull time in her life (completing graduation), turned to me out of the blue and said that she wasn't in love anymore, and that she wanted to split to "feel free" and happy again, the only reason for staying beeing our beloved daughter.
That was a punch in the stomach. I made all the mistakes, crying, begging, and reachng for counselling, wich started 1 month after. As time went by I saw poor improvement, but eventually found out she was having an affair, that started AFTER we started counselling. I was devastated and in shock. She panicd, and swore she was better than that, and was sorry for all the pain, and all. This happened 1 year ago, and, since that time, we have been in a roller-coaster, with her becoming closer (never initiating sexual intimacy, though), and retiring and restraining herself from fighting for our marriage. All this time I tried to be the best friend, husband, father, and things were looking bright during these past vacations. But as we started school yeear, and she started choir rehersals (thus going to the place where the OP works), she has grown further and further away.
Eventually, today we had a calm conversation, where she stated she liked me, but couldn't go on fightigh, and this is not a marriage.
Although feeling bad, I calmly accepted her request to end things. I told her I accepted but didn't agree. Nevertheless, I wished her all the best and so.
But my heart is heavy, and I'm still quite shocked. Where do I go next?

start up the same thread over in the Infidelity/Surviving an Affair section. There's a 90% chance she was ALREADY having an affair before you started counseling. Please listen to us; the experience here is vast.

Anyway, there's nothing you can do for your marriage until you address the affair(s).

OH, and tell her you have decided you will NOT participate in the divorce. That if she wants a divorce, she'll have to fight you for it. Do NOT make it easy! Make it drag out for months or years, so you have time to fight to get your wife out of the affair fog and back into her right mind.

That is insanity. That is bad advice. You will not stop the divorce. Instead you will just make everyone miserable, including the young girl, who at the age of 4 should be able to adjust to a new situation rather well.

Um, I think it is excellent advice. That's what is wrong with the world today is people like you that say just get out, don't even try to work on it. Marriage is a lot of work. To the Original poster, why is starting counseling a mistake?

You have no way of knowing this. Are you familar with the Basic Concepts of Marriage Building? Affairs are stopped and divorces diverted EVERY DAY.