Any news HH?

What a day, so to speak. I sat in the hallway from 8:30 to 4:30 with a break for lunch. We were the LAST case to be heard and it wasn't finished so it's continued -- to tomorrow!

D!ck for there this time -- for the whole day. He even text me at one time -- "Nice waste of our time and $."

I replied "You wanted this. I wanted my marriage and my family."

The replied "You can at least have the family part."

Then, at the end of the day, the sparks flew. My attny proposed an increase in support (due to me being out of work) AND for D!ck to make up the difference in the short payments.

D!ck flipped because when his attorney took him in a private room to discuss, I could hear his voice down the hall. Then the two attorneys went into the court room while I continued to sit in the hall {I wasn't invited into the court room}, and D!ck stayed in the private room talking on the phone with his accountant buddy. I could hear parts of his conversation. He opened the door at one time to check to see if I was still down the hall (yep, I was the ONLY person left), and he let out some choice words in reference to me. "She's a f-ing idiot if she thinks she can do this.... blah, blah, blah."

When he peeked out again I said "Real nice, calling me names. Let's just get his over with." And he said "No, let's drag it out and waste money. And in 30 days -- BYE, BYE" (I know D!ck is looking for another job, so maybe he expects to have one in a month that will enable him to hide his income.)

Anyway, the attorneys finally came out of the court room to say that we have to come back tomorrow morning. So I'll be back.....
Oh... and the deputy who was locking the door asked if that was my attorney because he said I was getting my money's worth because my attorney was fighting like a bulldog.

And when my attorney and I left the building, we could still hear D!ck's loud voice in an argument with his attorney. HE WAS LOUD. And -- when I got home, he phoned me. Of course, I didn't answer it. I definitely did not want to hear what he had to say... and I DOUBT it was an apology.

So D!ck is finally understanding what it's like to divorce this unemployed wife and mother. His fantasy that he just walks into the sunset with Bimbo and his fortune isn't quite what he expected.

D!ck is the ultimate TAKER. And now, he's having a hard time grasping that the divorce will force him to be a GIVER -- a giver of his money!

WOW!!! He just got a big hit of reality didn't he? I am so glad your atty came out fighting for you. Good job HH!!! Tomorrow should be interesting.

You are really getting under his skin with the atty fees. Keep the pressure on there because that seems to really get him fired up - wasting money. He just wants you to settle to something that benefits him and bimbo..

Go HH!!!!

It was hard seeing him throughout the day. Even weirder that he's not "with me" -- not sitting by me or talking with me or looking at me. It was like I was off limits or had the plague and he had to stay a good distance away.

And I spent my day reading Twilight. Teenage crushes, vampires... good distraction.

And the funny thing is that I know D!ck so well. He's the most inpatient person in the world. So the fact that we were the LAST case really had to have pissed him off royally. Like he's such an VIP in life that he should NEVER have to wait. Like he's so ENTITLED, that his time is more valuable than anyone elses. Pleeeeeeezzzzz.

Welcome to the court house. Take your shoes off and walk through the medal detector like every other Joe here. Wait like everyone else. You aren't special...

How are YOU doing?

That was an awesome endorsement of your attorney! Good to know he's fighting hard for you!

We'll be thinking of you again tomorrow! Update us when you can.

(Good for you on not answering his call -- probably just wanted to bully you some more...)

I agree with Lexxxy. Both on the way you (and your attorney) are handling this, and that your WH was likely going to heap some more abuse on you. Keep up the good fight (and the high road)!

Just stay away from that maniac. And, go for the jugular. I hope he is destitute for life.

Chai -- I just keep thinking "pride comes before the fall."

And Queenie -- I'm doing fine... and the goddess inside of me is saying "hummm... what will I wear tomorrow?"

And LexxXy -- I did ask another client of attorney about his skills. Client said he was impressed by his court skills. Attny is an older guy -- with a gruff grandpa-type, no-nonsense style. And he was sporting a bloody scrape on his forehead that made him look particularly menacing.

So D!ck was definitely unhinged today. Kind of wished we had appeared in front of the judge today so D!ck's anger could have come out. I expect, with a night to compose himself, he'll be on better behavior tomorrow.

Fred and Zelmo... I've been accused of being vindictive, trying to rub his nose in it, trying to break him, blah, blah, blah.

In reality, I'm a loyal, faithful, generous wife trying to keep my family together. I'm not going for the jugular... so to speak... I just don't want to get stuck with his affair debt that he believes should get split down the middle.

And the abuse? Heck, I'm finally learning to not take it personally. He's angry at the world right now. It's like "he knows not what he does" if that makes any sense. I've detached enough that I see him like a defiant two year old son instead of a bullying 47 year old husband. He's "acting out."

I've come a long way that his words just bounce off me. Like someone said about him earlier -- look at the guy behind the curtain. He's not the mightly and powerful Oz anymore...

And now that I see the real him, I won't put him back on that pedestal again.

As you know I will be traveling tomorrow but we will catch up. Prayers and faith

HH, it's people like you who give me the strength and the faith that I will arise out of this mess a better, healthier man. This ordeal has made me look at the 50% I own, and has instilled in me the desire to never again stop communicating, stop caring and stop stuffing my feelings. When I read stories such as yours, I almost wilt from relief knowing that my story pales in insignificance.

Earlier, MelodyLane cited me as being one of the current crop of MB stalwarts. In truth, I had nearly no chance to perform a Plan A, and given that my WW has not tried to contact me once (to my knowledge) since moving out, I don't see myself as any sort of example of being an MB "winner."

On the other hand, it's been said that success isn't necessarily measured by whether or not the M is recovered, it's measured in how well *we* recover.

I read in you the story of a woman who was sorely wronged, who fought hard to keep her life and her marriage together, and who somehow found redemption despite things not working out the way she'd wished. And if you ask me, that's cause enough for you to hold your head high.

Holyheart,

I thought I would look in quickly. I am so glad that you are not buckling under.

I hanker back to the early Christian days where an adulterer could expect to be stoned for their crimes. Like so many other adulterers, your husband does not understand the biblical measure of his sins.

Regardless of circumstances, enjoy this Christmas knowing that there are so many that support you at this time.

You go HH!!! I'm still sending positive thoughts your way today. I look forward to hearing about your successful outcome (and of course, more of D!ck's mental breakdown).

OK... I was thinking...

It's tradition that we send out photo Christmas cards, and this year is no exception. So I sent out over 100 cards to those on our usual mailing list. I took off the sleezy accountant and his brother... but kept the rest.

And I debated as to how to sign it. "The HH Family"... or listing each member of the HH family excluding D!ck. I opted for "The HH Family" to take the high road. And the pictures are just of the kids and the dog so I'm not in the photos.

Anyway... I actually brought one yesterday to court just in case I had the opportunity to give it to D!ck. You know... like a scene from a movie... "Merry Christmas, D!ck. Here's a reminder of the family you left behind. Have a wonderful life"... as I gently sweep the lock from his forehead and give him a brief peck on the cheek. [Yah... right... he's BALD and mean and won't let me within yards of him....Ok]

BUT... to make him think... SHOULD I GIVE HIM A CARD? AND IF SO....

Say anything? Or just let the card do the talking?

This is war... and I'm strategizing here... keep D!ck FURIOUS at me or give him a slight peace offering -- a photo of our kids at Christmas.....

And... Bimbo will be pissed to see that he got a card that wasn't sent via his P.O. Box. That he and I somehow had an "exchange."

Feedback, please...

Don't give him the card. He doesn't deserve to have recent photos of his kids. Let him miss them without photos. It will accomplish nothing.

OK... I will not encourage or initiate the card exchange.

I'll be thinking of my friends here and channeling your positive thoughts. Keep up the prayers, OK? Gotta run.

OH... forgot one thing about yesterday... in front of the courthouse, as I was turning down the street, I saw Jesus. Yes, a man carrying a large wooden cross. The bottom of the cross had wheels. WHAT A SIGN. AMEN!!!

no peace offerings when you are entering battle!

Good luck, HH....give him he77!