How perfect!

And many folks keep a Plan B diary, so when he returns you can update him on all the things he missed while he was 'gone'.

And yet without a separation, the chance of recovery is virtually nil. Put that way, it sounds like the odds have increased.

Because of the risk Plan B is a last resort, but it's a last resort that almost always has to be used with WH's. So few A's end with Plan A alone, and when the WS is a WH it's pretty much a given that the cake supply has to be cut off before the RC extraction occurs.

I do believe that if I am NOT going to ask him to leave and move in to Plan B, he would just be lapping up all of his cake indefinitely. WH's plan for after he was to leave me was that he would live with OW, he would just take his clothes and leave the rest of his stuff here. Then when I went to work that he would come HERE and watch the kids. He also was saying things to me about coming back to fix things around the house that needs to be fixed.

It was like he was going to have the same situation he has now only his place of residence would change. He is going to be totally shocked by this one for sure.

Last night as I was leaving for work, i made sure I touched the side of his face and looked right in his eyes. He pulled away and I said (although I may have been wrong to say, but I kept a smile on my face and kept it light) "you can't change the way I feel, have a good night." Then I walked out the door. I heard the door open and I turned around expecting him to say something else. What he said was "Don't forget to pick up bread" and I said "I was shopping after work anyways good night."

Actually,that was very good. It qualifies as a drive-by. He must have been really speechless if the bread was the best come-back he could think of.

Waywards suck ......

I'm pulling for ya

So what IS your Plan B plan? Who will watch the kids? How will you handle visitation if he goes to live with OW?

Stupid hoovers!

I think this one can qualify as a Dyson or Kirby.

Oreck and a bowling ball

Well my Plan B plan is that I have changed my shifts at work so I work days and weekends instead of nights and weekends. My sister and friends will watch the kids during the day time shifts and WH will pick them up for my weekend shifts. I have that set in the children part that I will be giving him when I ask him to leave.

As to where he will take the kids when he has them is really not my concern. A little part of my hopes he will take them to her house because our DS6 can be a real handful. My WH has always had difficulty controlling his anger around him and he loses his patience often. There is no threat to his personal safety but only to WH saving face in front of his new love. DS6 is extremely attached to me and even told me that on Sunday while I was at work WH was talking on the phone and DS6 told him to get off of the phone. My WH response was "I am an adult and I can talk to whomever I want."

I know that OW and WH have been ignoring the fact that he has children because when they talk about them they don't use their names. They call them "the big one and the Little one". If that isn't sticking your head in the sand I don't know what is. I think OW would make HUGE withdrawals in WH Love Bank if she didn't get along with the kids. He has always said (before ALIEN took over), that if he was to date again(when I died) that the woman would have to love his kids and that he would always choose the kids over her in a fight.

I am focusing on getting through this last night. It is possibly the last night that I will ever sleep in the same bed as my WH and that makes me sad. We have lived together for 15 years and have only been apart at night for 15 nights (3 of those in the past 6 months when he was with OW).

Before a couple of months ago, I wasn't even able to sleep without him. After he told me he was leaving however, I started to get used to it.

Focusing on the tasks ahead. Removed family picture from the wall and made a copy. I will pack that in his stuff with another copy of the Plan B letter hidden behind it. I will also make him up a small photo album of pictures from our past as a family.

Here's hoping to the fact that he will not fight me about leaving. I know he is going to tell me that he has nowhere to go. What can I say to that one? I want to say "I don't care where you go." but that isn't the truth. I thought I could just say "You are breaking my heart." and leave it at that. I

I will keep you all posted. Here's to a celebration of the end of Plan A (I made it even thought I wanted to give up a few times) and the beginning of Plan B through "Shock and AWE".

I do believe it is the best chance I have at saving my M and I am grateful to everyone for their help and support.

I recommend you lawyer up. You should establish some sort of temporary custody. He otherwise has the right to take the kids, move elsewhere, and file for custody there.

I would also put a restraining order that the parmour is not to be permitted around the children.

Finally, check the law in your state, but you can sue the OW as well for Alienation of Affection.

I think with the right lawyer you could sue her for anything you want, IMHO.

Just some food for thought.

"You are free to go."

I don�t recommend this one. The adulterer will reply something to the effect, �See, I always knew you never loved me.� Takes a thick skin to get past this retort. A skin I learned I did not have.

But the others are good. Especially, just refer him to the letter.

Plan B gets harder and harder for a while, and then its gets easy.

And then you wonder why you put up with the loser for as long as you did.

I also strongly recommend you talk to legal counsel. Adulterers are liars and cheaters -through and through. He and OW will take everything they can from you.


Have you posted or emailed to someone here your Plan B Letter for comment?

Scotty lives in Canada. A whole 'nuther universe ...

You are a woman of great beauty and strength!

Prayers going out for you...

((((Scotland))))

I have soooo many people sending me prayers and positive thoughts. It feels good to know there are so many people pulling for me.

It has been a very rough day today. I started having doubts if this is really what I should do but I know it is because I am just afraid. Yesterday, I still thought it was a good idea and if I think about all of the times WH has done something that could have made me break Plan A I know that the timing is right.

I can't keep living like this with him cake-eating. OW may be ok with it but I am better than that and I deserve better. I know there is a possibility that he will never come back and that is the biggest part that scares me.

This may be the last night I ever sleep in the same bed as WH and that makes me sad, but I know that I will get through.

I was at work tonight and it was all hitting me pretty good. I got myself out of it by repeating over and over again "Either way it will work out for the best". I firmly believe that. I will be better for this life experience whether I am alone or with WH.

Happy Birthday to me. I am giving myself the best present I could ever get. I am giving myself the best possible chance to save my marriage and have my self respect.

Thank you all and I will keep everyone up to date with how it goes.

This is your last night to sleep with a cheater.

Chances are, it isn't the last night you'll spend with your husband.

Courage!