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 thinking of you here too. You're doing an ace job and really showing those boys what is and isn't acceptable. Scotty! You ARE the woman! So, I'm looking at your bio and am I right: you got "the speech" on your anniversary, and WH is moving out on your birthday? Oof. Do something special today, okay? There are no calories in birthday cake. Proven scientific fact. 
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Happy Birthday Scotland! May today be better than yesterday and not as good as tomorrow.
-SOL
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Wanted to stop by with a quickie ...... it's 6:10pm, fingers crossed that all goes as planned,  ing as well. You WILL be fine. laker53 posted something like this to me once ...... Green the colour of calm ....... now breathe. And oh, .... Happy Birthday!
M'd 22 years
BW-me
D-Day 08/08 LTA
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Don't think we haven't noticed what time it is now. Prayers are going up for you on this, your best birthday ever. It may not feel like it, but this is your finest hour. Now just step back and let God work.
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
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Thinking of you Scotland.
BW(me)
DDay EA 4/05
DDay PA 6/05
In recovery
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Don't think we haven't noticed what time it is now. Prayers are going up for you on this, your best birthday ever. It may not feel like it, but this is your finest hour. Now just step back and let God work. DITTO that......I pray all is well with you....STAY STRONG!!!!...CHIN UP AND CHEST OUT.... (ok, maybe not too much on that last one....unless of course, you want his last memory to be of your "assets".....  ) (((((Scotland)))))) not2fun
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Thinking of you Scotland. Ditto. Please let us know something.
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Still thinking of you Scotland.
You're in my thoughts and prayers.
Stay strong. Eat cake. Hug your family.
We're with you 1000%!
~opt
Me: 43 y.o. BFWH, D-day 11/11/09 (NC since 9/01) Divorce from WW final 9/16/10. Current Status: MB-based Marriage to Nature Girl 12/8/12 (first date on 12/11/10) Mine: S(16), D(11) NatureGirls: S(23), D(21) Another EA Story
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You are an Amazing person!!!!!!
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Hope all is going well with your evening. When you can, let us know how you are.
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
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Well. WH came home 15 minutes early and I was on the phone with my dad and re-reading the responses I wanted to use and what I wanted to say to him.
I stopped him in the hallway, and he had noticed the stuff on the porch. I don't remember everything that was said(I really wish I had the tape recorder ready) or even how it started. It seems like a blur.
He did give me a bit of a hard time about where was he supposed to go? How long had I planned it? Did I want him to fight for the kids? Where were the kids? Why couldn't I wait until February? What were we doing about finances? Did I clean out the bank account?
I told him that here was a letter and it explained everything. He said that he wasn't going to read any letter. I could just tell him what needed to be said and he would remember it. I told him that there was a lot of things to take in and it is written down so he can read it later.
We talked for a half an hour. I repeated many many times "I love you and you are breaking my heart" as well as "I can not allow myself to be hurt by adultery anymore."
I know I said other things but I made sure never to bring OW up and never to blame him. I cried a lot but I never talked loudly at all.
When he said he didn't know where he was going to go, I simply said "I know you have some where to go." He said "yea with notice" I just said that he was going to leave in february but I couldn't bare being hurt any longer and I couldn't last.
When he asked how long I had been planning it I simply said "Not long. I just packed your things today."
When he talked about where he was supposed to take the kids when he had them I said, "I am sure you will take them somewhere safe."
When he said that I was taking his boys away from him I responded with "I have made arrangements with our friends that if you want to come and see them you can just call them. They will call me and I will let them know if it is ok that day."
When he talked about the finances and visitation I explained that they were written in the letter. I gave him an overview of what I would expect when finances were split. I then informed him that if we were to go to court that he would actually have to pay me more and possibly see the kids less. He agreed I was being liberal with visitation and decent with the finances.
He wanted to come in to the house to make sure I had gotten everything. I welcomed him to check and he found nothing else I had forgotten. He asked me repeatedly where the kids were and I said "They are at my birthday party. I didn't think it would be good for them to be here for this."
He cried a lot and maintained eye contact with me the whole time. Then after the half an hour went by he walked outside and started to put the things in the truck. I said "Can I have the keys to the house please?" He gave them to me and walked out the door. He saw my dad parked outside and said "your ride is here" I said "yea it is my dad" He said "or your boyfriend." I responded with my pocket response to that one "I believe in a marriage with only 2 people." I walked away and said "I love you" and got in my dad's car and we went to my bday party.
Sorry to leave you all hanging for so long but I had to stay away as long as I could. I miss him terribly and this is hard to admit but a small part of me hoped he would have chosen to stay with me.
This is pretty bad tonight but I am going to get through it.
Thank you all
Last edited by Scotland; 12/18/09 11:02 PM.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING  Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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Honestly - you could not have done it better.
MAJOR KUDOS
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And WH is in a major cesspool of pain as well.
The difference is ... he has CAUSED the pain. (he has a guilty conscience)
You are making attempts to stop the pain. (you do not have a guilty conscience)
Never forget that.
He will read the letter. I promise you , he will.
Last edited by Pepperband; 12/18/09 11:07 PM.
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Pepper- Well he did take it with him so that is a start. I emailed a copy to OW too.
I told him he could call the kids whenever he wanted and when I was leaving my sister's I noticed that someone had called my cell phone at 654pm. That was 35minutes after I left. I am putting call display on to make sure who it is before I ever answer the phone.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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How's your Dad. It must have been difficult for him as well.
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Well, my parents are interesting. My dad never even got out of the car. My mom left my dad in July 2008 for another man. My parents still talk to each other everyday and the joke is that my parents are having an affair with each other. My dad put a deadline of december 10th for my mom to come home. Well, it passed and today they were both at my party and my Dad made a couple of comments to her about her coming home.
He just kept telling me that life sucks for everyone and I would get through it. I know that he was trying to help but it wasn't helping much.
It just dawned on me that this is the first bday I spent w/o my H since I was 16. Triggers are everywhere.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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Scotland,
YOU WERE AWESOME!!!.
Today, you are my hero.
Preach the Gospel every day. When necessary, use words.
St. Francis of Assissi
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It WAS beautifully done. I believe in beautiful moves to B. I did it. You did it.
You will get through this and you really should talk to a physician about what supplements to take to help you. It is a long road.
Expect your WH to push boundaries for a while. If he doesn't, he is smarter than the average Wayward.
Stand firm but loving. Find ways so that the boundaries are found to be definite.
Happy Birthday. May your WH be home with you next year for the next one.
Last edited by reading; 12/18/09 11:49 PM.
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Scotland,
YOU WERE AWESOME!!!.
Today, you are my hero. DITTO
Truth can stand on it's own two feet....A lie needs support....FRM
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