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I can't keep living like this with him cake-eating. OW may be ok with it but I am better than that and I deserve better. I know there is a possibility that he will never come back and that is the biggest part that scares me.
This may be the last night I ever sleep in the same bed as WH and that makes me sad, but I know that I will get through.
I was at work tonight and it was all hitting me pretty good. I got myself out of it by repeating over and over again "Either way it will work out for the best". I firmly believe that. I will be better for this life experience whether I am alone or with WH.
Happy Birthday to me. I am giving myself the best present I could ever get. I am giving myself the best possible chance to save my marriage and have my self respect. ..
Happy Birthday Scotland !!
Last edited by sortingitout; 12/18/0906:09 AM.
Me 56 Former BS Widowed 5-17-09 --married 25 years. 4 children DS-35 previous marriage--18-22 DGrandSons 6 and 4 Me former BS DD-29 with DGDs 5 and 1yr DSs 26 and 23 Teilhard de Chardin..“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” ...Sounds about right to me.
Happy birthday Scotland. I woke up thinking about you this morning. Be strong. You are in my prayers.
God's Blessings,
Say
Me, BW-57 FWH 54 4 kids and 4 grandbabies between us In recovery since D-day, May 28,2007 FWH never onboard the MB boat but still clinging to the side. One day at a time by God's grace.
I've not posted because the way your WH is behaving is EXACTLY the way mine did - right down to the hugging the side of the bed every night.
You've handled it far better than I ever did and are a MUCH stronger and braver person for it.
From one December baby to another, I hope this birthday brings you peace and happiness for the next year and the one after that, and the one after that and to infinity and beyond (gotta love Buzz).
All my best, Kimmy
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?
O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.
Happy Birthday, Scotland. I've read your entire thread and I have to say I'm amazed at your class, self control, and damn near everything about you. Stay strong, I'll be pulling for you to have the very best outcome FOR YOU.
Wolf, not Cougar Why wolf? Wolves mate for life. BW-40 WH-38 M 18 years, together 21 Bomb drop 10/13/2008. EA +some physical, plus disclosure of long term porn addiction and "gaslighting" campaign to isolate me from our social circle 2 False recoveries 10/22/2008 and 2/10/2009. Separated since 10/5/2009 when he refused to get treatment for his binge drinking. Divorce final October 2010.
Happy Birthday, Scotland. I've read your entire thread and I have to say I'm amazed at your class, self control, and damn near everything about you. Stay strong, I'll be pulling for you to have the very best outcome FOR YOU.
DITTO. Happy birthday and enjoy your kids this weekend!!!! I know i have said it to you before and you may not feel like it but you turely do have courage that most wish they had. You are a pillar of strenght and probably don't realize it. Stay strong as you have been.
Best wishes
Truth can stand on it's own two feet....A lie needs support....FRM
Me: 43 y.o. BFWH, D-day 11/11/09 (NC since 9/01) Divorce from WW final 9/16/10. Current Status: MB-based Marriage to Nature Girl 12/8/12 (first date on 12/11/10) Mine: S(16), D(11) NatureGirls: S(23), D(21) Another EA Story
Thank you everyone. You don't know how much I started crying just reading all of these words of encouragement.
I am done with the packing and putting all of his things out and you know what? The further along I got the madder I got at him and the better I felt that I was doing this. That first hurdle jumped, many more taller ones to go.
The wait for him to come home now begins. I think he may pull an ultimate [censored] move and not come home when he is supposed to. I have a plan to text him by 630 if he is not home. I am just going to say that he needs to come home because it is important. Then when he calls me, I am just not going to answer the phones.
The boys will be with my sister and mom where they will be taken care of and I can focus on what I need to do. My dad will be here with me to help me through it. I also have many people in the universe sending out prayers and positive thoughts. I feel stronger than I ever have in my entire life.
I do remember a couple of months ago, when my WH told me he was leaving me. He was crying and he said "I don't know if you are strong enough." My answer was "Oh don't worry I AM." I was always sure that I was.
Thank you everyone. I am going to keep myslef occupied today and I will write to you all after I come home from my birthday party.
I HIGHLY, HIGHLY recommend you call a locksmith out RIGHT NOW and do this. You don't want him barging in to the house.
DITTO
Even if WH gets it changed back later ... it sends a clear message. Even if it is not quite legal, do it anyway. You can always defend your choice ... "I was worried about break ins and who might have a copy of the key."
Yeah, a critical part of my (intended, but never executed) Plan B was to change the garage door opener code and disable all remotes but the one in my car, change the locks on the doors (they need to be replaced anyway, they are 18 years old and falling apart), get the lock on the barn fixed, etc.
It's tough prying a spouse away from their house when they really, truly want to cake-eat and have both their spouse and the lover. Luckily I never had to go that far, but I'm certain it would have been a struggle.
Even if WH gets it changed back later ... it sends a clear message. Even if it is not quite legal, do it anyway. You can always defend your choice ... "I was worried about break ins and who might have a copy of the key."[/font][/b]
i did this and played stupid about it after my husband left as he was trying to come back to get stuff in the begining. Cops just told me i had to give him a key when i told them i didn't he was supposed to have a key as i hadn't talked to him in two months. It was no big deal at the time i thought i was going to get into worse trouble than that.
Truth can stand on it's own two feet....A lie needs support....FRM
Been thinking of you today as well. Let me just say
They always say on birthday's your a year older and wiser, but I think for you we should add on STRONGER.....because that my dear is what you have become.....
I love the idea of dad being there. This is sooooo very good. You are getting great advice as usual.....keep up the good work and know as always, we are here for you.....
oh, and I hadn't seen anywhere, BUT you do have your IM lined up, right??....who was it again??...this is an important step.....
Stay strong, I'll be pulling for you to have the very best outcome FOR YOU.
