I've been giving this some thought, and I'd like to post this to the collective expertise of MB. It strikes me that quite a number of posts include Facebook as a way to initiate and continue an A. Why can't Facebook be used by the BS to counter attack the WS and their activities?

Below is a (very) rough draft of a generic Facebook post I think a BS could use to broadcast their stance in the matter. I have used the position of Plan B to announce to the FB world, but I think with just some minor tweaks, it could also be used during Plan A. What do you think? Is this a violation of Plan B?

I think it's a good idea to stay off FB altogether.

If one were to use FB for Plan B exposure, I'd recommend the personal judgments be left out. Don't talk about a "knife in the heart", because that kind of metaphor just turns people off to your plight and makes you sound vindictive.

As long as spouses (that are not in affairs) are transparent, I don't see a problem with FB. I'm able to connect with relatives in different countries. Exposing on FB is definately nuclear. A person is exposing to potentially very large public base. If a person is okay with that then so be it. It appears to have worked very well for some recent BS here.

Gg

I would add LINKEDIN for exposure to business associates, really plutonium grade nuke material.

NJ

I like it.

I actually took another tack: I created a Facebook "poll." It goes like this:

If you discovered your spouse was having an affair, would you:

• Do nothing. It's our little secret.
• Are you kidding? Fast lane to the Divorce Court.
• Try to save the marriage: Get counseling.
• Retaliate, with an affair of your own.

This way, I've got the message out, AND I get feedback from my "friends" on what THEY think I should do!

facebook exposures have been the most impactful, effective exposures I have ever seen in 8 years here. We have 2 affairs that have been killed off in the last 3-4 weeks. Another one has been crippled and is probably killed off as we speak now.

The reason they are so impactful is because facebook is a collection of the most important, influential people in a OP or WS's lives. It is all right there and the BS does not have to spend time wondering who would be the best exposure targets and then try to figure out how to reach them. in most cases, they are all listed right there.

It allows the BS to reach the OP's side of the family and circle of friends which is a NEW avenue for the BS.

Fred, I know your situation is little different, but there is no reason you shouldn't put that on your facebook even in Plan B. Everyone should know about the affair.

"I actually took another tack: I created a Facebook "poll." It goes like this:"

Why are you still playing games. Grow a pair.

Exposure is a tool. Tools are not to be feared but to be used.

You had a great idea. Not an original idea because it has been done before.

Get rid of that "poll" and do a real exposure on FB.

I'd change that to read:

[b]If you discovered your spouse was having an affair, as I did recently, how would you respond?

My two cents

I used Bebo (another networking site) as part of my exposure. I wasnt as polite as the suggestions here tho

Got the message out to all the right people VERY quickly.

Does this get posted on your own profile, or do you get this on WW's profile somehow?

One way seems to limit the exposure and the other just seems vindictive.

Err..., I broke into my then WH's profile and wrote a message that sounded like he was confessing. I did do it in anger, not vinditivness. I do not regreat doing it at all. Then using his profile I blasted PQ. All their workmates INCLUDING THEIR SUPERVISOR were on their 'friends lists'

Both Flick and PQ lost any chance of getting their temporry contracts renewed, and she had to move out of town, back to her parents due to the lack of funds.



Of course she then sponged on Flick long distance but thats another story.

Funny addtional story I learnt later... the weekend after I did it there was a work party. The theme was 'Bad taste'. Flick and PQ where told they could not both come, one of the other as even that was in too bad taste.