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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 3,499
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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 3,499 |
Queenie,
I am so sorry for this news. She is lucky to have a good friend in you...add my prayers to the list...
Pep's advice was spot-on. My H's cousin lost her baby 2 days before her delivery date. Cord got wrapped around the neck. It was very sad and hard. The best advice I can give is to listen when needed and show love and support later on. My H's cousin LOVED when I did this. She was grateful for the questions and concern instead of the "pretending" it never happened....
not2fun
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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,643
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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,643 |
Hi there and thank you all so much. I saw her last night, actually I made a salad for her on Christmas.
The end result of the tests were the 2nd baby is severly deformed and the third baby is carrying the exact genes of it's siblings. I am NOT going to get into a discussion on people's opinion on what she should do.
What I did do was follow Pep's advice and told her to get pictures and she thought that was a good idea. I am here for her and she knows it.
Thank you for your prayers, she is in a bad way, but not drinking or using and that is a MIRACLE.
BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,535
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Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,535 |
Hi Queenie Have been thinking of you and your friend. Names in the sand This is a beautiful website. The one thing that friends that I have had that have lost babies have said - is that they want their babies to be remembered and talked about. At Christmas, we have a candle on the table which we light in memory of Harvey and Harry, it reminds us of how fortunate we are and reminds us of those who need comfort. This poem also gave these friends comfort "An Ugly Pair of Shoes"
I am wearing a pair of shoes.
They are ugly shoes.
Uncomfortable Shoes.
I hate my shoes.
Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair.
Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step.
Yet, I continue to wear them.
I get funny looks wearing these shoes.
They are looks of sympathy.
I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs.
They never talk about my shoes.
To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable.
To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.
But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.
I now realize that I am not the only one who wears these shoes.
There are many pairs in the world.
Some women are like me and ache daily as they try and walk in them.
Some have learned how to walk in them so they don't hurt quite as much.
Some have worked the shoes so long that days will go by
before they think of how much they hurt.
No woman deserves to wear these shoes.
Yet, because of the shoes I am a stronger women.
These shoes have given me the strength to face anything.
They have made me who I am.
I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost a child.
Author Unknown
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