This first Christmas has been much harder than I expected. Much harder.

Believe it or not, Krazy, things get easier with time. The rest of your life is in front of you. Your kids will always love you. And, there is now a chance to form a relationship untainted by infidelity, when you are ready.

Krazy - I think about you a lot. Life does get better, I promise you that. This will be my 6th Christmas, and it is still hard.

Oh gosh Believer. I was hoping that it would be better by now and this is only the 3rd Christmas. I'm just not sure things will ever get that much better.

Chai - Take heart. Christmas is still hard. But life is good. One gift of the infidelity is that I appreciate each and every person in my family so much more. I love my friends more. And I was a family person before. But the whole infidelity thing just wrote it in my heart. It is a completely life changing event, and a lot of the consequences are for the better.

I do agree with what you said B. It has changed me so much too, and for the better. I've learned to appreciate family more, and will never to take anything or anyone for granted again. I have realized just how fragile a marriage is.

((((Krazy)))),

I'm so sorry for your pain. It must be hard. I hope you have other plans for tomorrow so it won't be so bad.....prayers of peace going to you.....(and all the others on here tonight....)

not2fun

{{{{{{{{{{{{{Krazy}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Be gentle and kind to yourself. You are G-ds greatest miracle and he is there to hold you in your time of sadness and pain. It's only ONE day... ONE minute, ONE second... just get through the second and then the next and before you know it the day is over.

Oh you can take a nap and even shorten the day more. It worked for me.

Hi Krazy - I don't know if it gets easier or not. This is my second Christmas and I don't feel any better. There is less outright suffering, but that's not the same as feeling good.

I'd say just spend the day with the family and friends you do care about. Do something fun and maybe even do something silly. My DS21 gave me a copy of the new *Star Trek* movie and we'll watch that later today, after Christmas brunch.

There are some neighbors up the street who have the craziest Christmas yard ever. It looks like Home Depot blew up all over their house. They've got every inflatable and tacky big decoration ever made stuffed into their fairly small yard (front and back) and on the rooftops. We're going to walk up there tonight and take a cell phone pic of the yard, and DS will send the pic to his girlfriend who is out of town for the holidays visiting family.

They do miss each other and are constantly in touch. They've been together off and on for probably three years, and it seems pretty solid this time. There's always hope.

And hey - SpikeTV is showing *Bad Santa* all day, and BBC America has been showing *Mr. Blackadder's Christmas Carol.* You can't go wrong with either of those!

Thanks for the Merry Christmas wish. Same to you.
Mulan

LOL! You must live right down the block from me. You've just described a house in the neighborhood that is almost cabin-sized, and they festoon it with every imaginable inflatable figure -- to the point where you almost can't see the house!

AMC -- the American Movie Classics channel is showing National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation all day today, back-to-back. I don't care how miserable the day might seem, if you can't get a smile, a chuckle or a downright laugh-out-loud from this one, they might as well close the coffin lid on you!

:wavingsanta:

This is my first Christmas without my WH and also he left 5 months ago today. Cried a lot yesterday but haven't cried today. It is hard but I have all my family and friends around. Today I am working at the hospital and my parents are coming to eat lunch with me at the cafeteria. Oldest daughter is eating lunch with boyfriend's parents then spending the rest of the day at home and youngest is having lunch with WH then spending the rest of today at home with grandparents. My parents are leaving for home in Tennessee tomorrow.
Still hoping and praying for his return.

BW-me 44yrs
WH-him 47yrs
OW 26yrs with a 2 and now 4yr old and still married
married 20 yrs
together 21yrs
DD 22yrs now
DD 19 yrs
D-Day#1 discovered cell phone calls 6/30/2009
D-Day#2 7/26/2009
WH left 7/25/2009
WH moved in with OW 7/29/2009

Of course, Fred, ya know that AMC cuts their movies. My favorite part of *Christmas Vacation* is when Cousin Eddie is draining the septic tank on the RV, holding the hose and pouring the contents into the storm drain. When the neighbor comes out of the house, Eddie waves and yells, "Merry Christmas!"

That's all you see on the AMC version. But uncut, Cousin Eddie actually says, "Merry Christmas! The sh*tter was full!"

My son and I will probably be saying that to each other sometime today.
Mulan