Leroy, I see no one has replied to your post/question yet, so as the first, my response may be less that what you asked for.
Every relationship begins with the infatuation stage. This is when two people are finding out about each other, discovering similarities, nuances, cute quirks and more. There is a willing suspension of reality, because those things that go day to day with life do not have to be dealt with head on.
People often see what they want to see, and ignore warning signs and
because they simply don't want to consider the possibility that their new interest may have flaws and/or incompatibility issues.
The "I can't be compatible with my spouse in this state" is a fact based on observation and interviews with thousands of wayward spouses (WS) by Dr. Harley. He likens it to an addiction, where the attraction of the "drug" (in this case, the other person) becomes so strong that the WS begins to ignore even the most basic needs.
For example, my wife found herself in a very bad place: she had been fired from her job and was angry and scared that her chosen career had been destroyed. At the same time, I was dealing with a health problem and trying to adjust to a new job myself. She began an affair with a man she started speaking with and forgot about her job. In fact, she stopped even looking for work. When she told me she wanted to leave the marriage, she had no job, no career, no place to go, no money and health issues herself.
She couldn't move in with the Other Man (OM) because he was married with children. Still, her desire to be with him was so strong that she destroyed our marriage, alienated her children, impacted her health (a non-smoker for years, she began smoking again) and has for all intents and purposes, gone off the deep end. In my efforts to stop the affair and save our marriage, she accused
me of not thinking straight, told me the OM wasn't the issue (yeah, right) and that we just weren't "right" together.
This is the same woman who took vows to love, honor and protect. The woman who proclaimed to be my best friend, partner, confidant and lover. The person who said we "fit together" so well, who other people said made us the "perfect couple" and in a few short months, walks out to pursue a fantasy life with OM. Oh, did I mention that OM just underwent prostate cancer surgery? Or that all the money he makes goes to paying for his children's cell phones and support? And oh yes, that no less than three women have told me they dated him and he cheated on them and dumped them? That he has been "getting a divorce" for over three years now?
I have only written a short bit about what's gone on. But I hope I've given you a taste of what kind of "better relationship" she is likely to have with "someone she is more naturally compatible with."
Come to think of it, maybe they are naturally compatible. They're both liars, unfaithful to their spouses, break all of their promises, violate sacred vows, are deceptive, manipulative, dishonest and irresponsible. Yes, maybe they
do deserve each other.
