I am having lunch with my Mom....

It'll will be our first real interaction in nearly a year and half. I have been doing a "Love Must be Tough" stance with her, since she gave me the whole foggy line on affairs. ughhhh....

Anyway, I am not really looking forward to this. She wants to apologize. Part of me thinks I'm a idiot for doing this. Life has been up and down enough without her issue's. And to be quite honest, I've been relieved not to have to tend to her and her ordeals....its been a long road, one I had stepped off of.....

Anywho....any prayers would be great...

not2fun

May the spirit of G-d be felt in your lunch. May you know how much loves and is protecting you.

And may you be able to walk through this lunch with grace, dignity and probably a sense of humor.

Prayers lifted. (((not2fun)))

Low expectations is the key. Maybe she will own her stuff. Maybe not.
My prayers never seem to be heard. So, I will not contaminate things.

Praying for you. Zelmo is right about expectations - my mom is great, but apologies aren't her forte either. Try to give them to God. Practice some mantras that you can sweetly smile and say if she starts pushing those boundaries (I do this with my mom). Bravo to you for having the kind of heart that is still open to her effort. That says a lot about you.

Prayers for you, Not2...

Praying for your calm, centered, loving self, front and center, where you accept what is yours (a real apology) and hand back, lovingly, what is not...

for God believes in you, and this may be where you discover you're a lot further along than you thought. You're incredibly strong, just not enough to make her that way...

{{{hugs}}}} You can do this.

LA

Hugs and prayers for you, Not.

Remember, if you are like me, this type of meeting could cause you to withdraw a bit emotionally in the marriage for a few days and in need of extra TLC from hubby.

:happynewyear: SMB :happynewyear:

May it be filled of dreams, hopes and G-ds blessings for your family in 2010.

Zelmo--I have felt this way too and I've wondered why God wasn't answering me. But, then I realized that He always hears our prayers...and they are ALWAYS answered, not always in our time but in His. And, the answer is sometimes not what we wanted but God always knows better than we do and He always does the best thing for us whether we realize it or not. So, please do not loose your faith. Maybe this A stuff is a test for us in some way--maybe it is to make us stronger--it stinks but God has not left us.

Not2fun, I don't know your story or the deal with your mother but I can relate. I have issues with my mother as well. She tries but I have alot of animosity. Give the chance and see how it works out. You have all our prayers here on MB.

THIS IS AWESOME.

Thanks Still

Prayers for you Not ((((and a hug!))))

[/quote] THIS IS AWESOME.

Thanks Still[/quote]

No thanks necessary Queenie. Just passing along some of my feelings that came from my desperate thoughts in the past. I am glad if you found it helpful in some way.

I just have to remember that no matter how alone we may feel at times that we are NEVER alone and that we can't always get our own selfish way--God has our plan and we have to remember that His will be done--not ours.

I am a person who likes to distill things down to their essence (given how wordy I get, some may question this). A religious friend once told me that God answers ALL questions. And there are four possible answers:

• Yes
• Yes, but first you have to do something
• No, not yet
• No, I love you too much for that

This concept has helped me numerous times in my life.

((((MB'ers)))),

Thanks all for the prayers, hugs and encouragement. Lunch was ok. Mom might need an emergency counseling appt. though....

Actually, she apologized and owned her part. She did try to blame-shift only once, but I called her on it, clarified what I meant, and she acknowledged it.

I also asked her the hard questions about her and dad. It was rough for her. I didn't push too hard though....I will say though, being out of my parents issue's these last 18 months has been nice. I think I would like to keep it that way for awhile longer.

She hates that our family is ripped apart, but that is the consequences of their past and current actions...(no affairs at this time all....just to let you know)...

Anyway, thank again all. This was a hard thing to do. But being the conflict-avoider that I am, it had to be done.

And SMB, thanks....I'm not much of a withdrawl type, but more of a transference of emotions. H already brought this up with me this morning, wanting us to keep at the pace we were on. And yep, he's been sending me TLC tm's all day.....

not2fun

Thanks. I have a pretty strong faith, I guess. My mom went to hospice today. So, I'll pray for her suffering to end.

I am so sorry. At the end, it is a good place to be. One is allowed to die in in peace and as pain free as possible. Praying for you and your family....

Thanks. Time for this horror show to end, hopefully. Sorry for the tj.

Zelmo - I'm sorry to hear about your mother. It's a tough place to be. I'll pray for you to feel comfort too.

N2F
Candid honesty for wayward, foggy abstinent wayward and recovered wayward parents is a little like rolling down a hill in a giant tractor inner-tube! A lot of Oofs! and Ouchs!

My mother and I went through a little dust-up last weekend - just in time for my mother to get her drama-fix. It all ended well, but I nearly didn't join the family for Christmas. My husband barely spoke to her. She was oblivious!

Let's just say my mother's days of playing "monkey-in-the-middle" speaking for another family to deliver her own version of zingers in the name of said-family-member are over. She called to say my brother was unhappy with my husband's typical choice of topics and would I please muzzle him - too bad she called on my cell while it was connected to the blue-tooth in my car - and Kasey was in the car... oooooops!

My husband didn't say anything but was grateful that I turned it right back on her asking her why bro couldn't speak for himself about it - and that I wasn't going to take any of her speaking for someone else. If bro didn't want a topic talked about, the least he could do was be respectful of my husband and speak to him directly. I flat out told her it was RUDE!

Then I cooked on it for four days, then called my bro to ask what he really meant to say as when he talks to mom we can count on it running through mom's filters and getting her personal "color" additive. (she doesn't like Kasey very much, let's put it kindly that she's the MIL from h*ll!) Kasey is pretty patient with her... for Kasey. :p

Anyway - I can relate. Poor mom - she's so outwitted cause she doesn't have friends on MB!