H says he knows I've been on his FB and yahoo. He started deleting everything from OW before I exposed his affair, so I believe he does know. But how?

Does FB keep a log of when you've logged on?

I was always careful to mark all the new messages as unread, and never deleted anything. Now I'm afraid to keep checking them. (I'm supposed to be trusting him but can't, of course.)

Why are you 'supposed' to be trusting of him? He hasn't earned that and certainly is out of line for suggesting it. He needs to make all accounts/passwords available to you to check out whenever you want, without question.

No Regulus, your WH has already proven himself to be untrustworthy. Don't allow him to bully you and make you think that your are wrong for making sure you protect yourself from HIM. Yeah, as sad as it may sound as a BS we need to protect ourselves from the person we love the most after finding out they had an A. He has to earn your trust. His life should be an open book. WS can sometimes be very narcisistic and think they are entitled (hince them having an A and exposing us to some nasty woman's STDs) Sorry went on a tangent. But you have to stand up for yourself. The sad thing I learned about our M after finding out about my DH A is that I need to look out for me first and make sure that I can exit this M if it ever happens again. I will keep my credit spotless, money in the bank and my ears and eyes open because I will never let my DH or anyone else pull one over on me the way he did. Anyway, I'm sure Facebook has logs but your DH needs to stay off of Facebook and you need to put spyware on your computer to make sure he is behaving. You have a right to know the person you are M to is just as committed to the M as you are.

A better way to spy on him is to download a keylogger on his computer. A good one is eblaster because it can email reports undetected to another computer. It costs $100 but seems to be the best one, IMO, and is easy to install.

Also, if you get that one, I would set up a free web based email like gmail or yahoo and have the reports sent there.

If he knows I'm looking, he'll just set up another account. He can email her at work, and I'll never get access to that, so doubt there's much in his email or FB any more anyway.

Keylogger is good to know about, but I can't spend $100 without him knowing about it. I haven't set up my own banking and credit accounts yet.

Is all this happening from the same computer? He may have a keylogger on it and is counter-snooping you.

Any evidence or suspicion he may be aware of MB?

Have you exposed this A? What is your goal in snooping? It sounds like the A is active and like you have confirmation of it by his admission - you need to expose this to employers and families. I'm sorry, did you tell your story on another thread and I missed it?

H and I have discussed his hours on line w/OW. He's vowed to stop (see "Spritually Cheating), but I can't trust him now that I know how involved he's been with her.

We each have our own laptops. I'd like a keylogger that can monitor our wireless network through my computer, so I don't have to load anything on his.

Regulus, what you are asking for is known as a network "sniffer." These are very complicated programs and require a good deal of computer and network knowledge.

That said, I think you should check out Wireshark. It's free, I think. But make sure you read about it and see if you are up to the task.

He's probably got a keylogger on that computer and is watching every move you make -- hence, he knows you are looking at his FB.

You want a solution to this problem...POLYGRAPH him! Demand that he take and PASS a polygraph or you walk. And be prepared to walk...

I don't have many regrets in life, but one regret I do have is not demanding a polygraph after finding out about OM#3. Five months later I found out about OM#4 and it was Plan-D.

POLY him, now!