Agree with Marsh - you set the bar for being dark.

Your son can say, "You need to ask the IM's," or "Please don't ask me to say that," or any other variations on that theme. What he should not say is, "Mommy will handle that on her own." What you do is none of WH's business, no matter how much you want to make sure he knows you didn't use his help.

If you succeed in handling it on your own and your DS says something voluntarily later, that's different. Without trying to control what he says (too much - because you're certainly going to want to encourage him not to pass information), you don't want to condone the relay of info, either.

Thanx everyone. I really didn't want to encourage passing of info along I just really wanted WH to know that I wasn't going to read or follow what he was emailing. When I woke up the boys had already been awake. DS9 wrote his Dad an email saying that he understood what to do and that Mommy would take care of it. Well, I definitely can't control what he writes hehehehe.

As far as uninstalling and reinstalling I have tried that already. This is really funny coming from me because before M I was enrolled in College for computer programming. I only attended 1 year but you would think I would have remembered something hehehehe.

I will look over the page and thanx for the gentle 2x4 reminder.

DARK means DARK. It's my first slip so I guess I am doing good because it has been rough not talking to him. My dreams have even started being all about WH and that is driving me MAD. Chin up a NEW YEAR starts on Friday

Slips do happen.

That was minor, so don't beat yourself up about it, learn how to avoid it, and go on.

You're doing fine!

Thanx Neak. It doesn't always feel like it. Sometimes I feel like I should/could give up. But I remember that those are thoughts that are born out of fear. I constantly tell myself that when I am thinking clearly it is a good idea. I always remind myself what it is that I really want. I want to be happy for me and my kids and I want to TRY. As long as I do my best(which I always tell my kids) then I did NOT fail no matter which way things turn out.

It is funny though because the days seem to be going faster, which is a blessing sometimes(watching the clock is TORTURE), but it is frightening also. I do miss him very much. That's probably why I started dreaming about him so often.

I want to simply say "THIS SUCKS." Well, off to work. The kids are sleeping at my sister's again and then I go watch them all during the day tomorrow so my sister can work overtime. Then we will ring in the NEW YEAR there and come home. Here's to hoping that 2010 will be better than 2009.

Your a rock star

Okay. WH FINALLY went through the IMs. He sent an email but the IMs computer is down now so I don't know what he wrote. He called them too though to make sure they got it and when IM said their computer is down then he just told them. He want to come and see the kids on Friday but no set time yet. He said he would tell DS9 when he talked to him on the phone on Thursday night(New Year's). He just doen't get the no going through the kids thing. Maybe I should "accidentally" turn off my cell and unplug the answering machine again. I mean what kind of a system is this? I will go PART WAY your way and the rest of the way mine? AHHHHHH

Then he said he would pick up the kids on Sunday at 6am and bring them home for supper and to get ready for school. Our previous arrangement was for him to get them from 9 am until 630pm on Sundays. What do I do now? Maybe he didn't read that part of the Plan B letter correctly. Now that IM computer is down there is no way to send him a message. He doesn't have voicemail on his cell.

Also, he told them to ask me why there is a $54 charge from Intellius. Do I respond to that one? That was when I was trying to find her family to expose. It was Dec4. What should I say about that?

I know that I seem very needy right now but I am just trying to get this all right. This seems so unnatural to me but I know that my instincts were wrong so far.

Thanx

The Intellus charge.....he MUST be able to figure that out on his own. You did expose, right?

I would, since you are in B, have IM respond that it was for research you were doing. Period. No other explanation.

I did Expose but the funny thing is that the Intellus was USELESS. It actually didn't get me her mother's phone number. I was heartbroken then and I later exposed to about 20 of her family members on FB a week later when they changed their privacy settings.

Sounds good though. I know I was going to tell the truth but in a way that it wouldn't be an LB.

Ah Scotty you are NOT too needy hon, hang in there the vets will come up with sumpin

He wants to come get them at 6 a.m. on Sunday because it is unlikely that you would be able to find someone else to be there so early for the pickup. He wants to weasel his way into the house.

Yes, have your IMs tell him that the Intellius charge was for research, and they should refer him back to the child visitation times stated on the addendum to your Plan B letter. The IMs should also tell him to let THEM know what time he wants to pick up (not "come see") the boys on Friday and they will check with you to make sure that time is convenient.

Thanx LC. I am going to contact my IM ASAP in the morning as by the time I got their message it was too late to call them tonight. I have to go to my sister's and watch her kids while she goes to work but I am going to try to get on here when I can. I am going to turn off my cell and unplug the answering machine.

I am a little mad though. I know he is trying to push me a little to try to see if I will budge. I USED to start work on Sundays at 7 am and I CHANGED my shifts to 10 so I wouldn't have to wake the kids up so early in the morning to get them off to be with their Dad. I will have to get IMs computer fixed for them so they can still send messages(WINK). Darn Technology, oh WAIT! I LIKE TECHNOLOGY hehehehehe.

Well, noone said this would be easy. Actually you all warned me it would be harder than Plan A and R would be harder still. It will be worth it someday whichever way this turns out. I am the forever optimist and I keep my Hope and Faith alive.

Night all.

You're doing great Scotland!! Lady Clueless is anything BUT clueless when it comes to IMing. Follow what she says.

Your WH is definitely pushing the boundaries. He's forcing a power struggle onto you. Absolutely DO NOT give an inch or he'll take a mile. You're doing great! Keep it up!

You can always try a different browser with your computer. I have things that work on Firefox but don't on IE. It's a thought.

Ditto.

Thanks, Michelle and Pep! I try my best!

Thank you all for the words of encouragement. I called my Ims this morning and passed on the messages that I have for WH. They are going to call him later today when he gets off of work and then they will call me at my sister's and let me know what his response is.

It is difficult in this part because I don't WANT to be difficult I HAVE to be. I asked him to follow just a few stipulations and he isn't so I have to show him a little tough love. I only feel bad because it affects the kids more. But that is because of WH actions not mine.

Let's see what happens next shall we? hehehehehehe

Nah. Yer not difficult.

Difficult would have been handing him your boundries written in Mandrin Chinese.

If anyone is being difficult it's wh. It's not like all of everything wasn't written out for him from the get-go.

Don't allow that kind of thinking anymore. 'kay?

Okay. Maybe a porr choice of words. At least I got the padded 2x4 this time. ;D

Pep- Is there a link to your story out there somewhere? I have read about Dealan-de, mimi_here, Neak and a few others. I was just wondering about your story. You seem to have been around to help a lot of others so I was just curious

It gives me more HOPE and FAITH when I am feeling down(and having a bad case of INSOMNIA) to read the stories of ones who are in R. It is where I HOPE to be and I have FAITH that either I will be there or personally R at some point.

Thanx(Us silly Canadians with all the manners tehehehehe, feel like I say thank you too much sometimes)