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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 253
W
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W Offline
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 253
My story in short:
xWH started an affair with MOW in the fall of 2006 when he was depressed and needy. I think that he took whoever came in his way, she is definitely not someone he would have chosen if he would have been free and balanced. He left out home and went to live in a hole of an apartment. Meanwhile, MOW was double playing her husband and neglecting her kids. I informed OWH about the state of the affair a few times and he was most grateful to me.

Now MOW is no longer married. Her xBH threw her out of the house and has moved in with a charming woman, five years younger than xMOW. I am divorced and have no contact what so ever with xWH. But I found out where he is:
He has moved into a house with xMOW - 200 meters from her old home where her xBH still lives.

I don't spend a lot of time thinking about the affair, not anymore. But I still wonder if this is going to be permanent. Is it a normal arrangement for the affair partners to move in next to the xBH?

I also wonder when the affair partners are going to get sick and tired of each other. xWH has never showed any interest in housekeeping, I used to manage everything in our home from watering the plants to fixing the roof. Apparently her xBH used to take care of more than his share of the domestic work so xMOW may not like the change. But is xWH desperate enough to make the affair work out that he is prepared to take care of the house for xMOW?

Fortunately, we don't have any kids but xMOW has two children aged 4 and 7. I know that xWH wants to be a father but at the moment he is stuck with another mans children. xMOW is 40 years old, in the middle of her carrier and has two kids. I doubt that she is interested in having more children. I have seen xWH once this fall (out on the town) and he looked like a scarecrow with a stupid beard and hollow cheeks.

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 945
G
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Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 945
why_us,
Your are divorced. You need to let go. You are allowing your xWH to control your life. Is this the way you want to live your life - in the shadows of your xWH? Put his life in Gods hands and start living your life.

Gg


D-Day #1 Aug/2007.
D-Day #2 1/27/12
Legally Separated
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,738
D
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Originally Posted by why_us
He has moved into a house with xMOW - 200 meters from her old home where her xBH still lives.

I don't spend a lot of time thinking about the affair, not anymore. But I still wonder if this is going to be permanent. Is it a normal arrangement for the affair partners to move in next to the xBH?

The conventional wisdom is that, if you divorce, you should live near the other parent of your children for the children's sake until they are either grown or have made a decision to exclusively live with one or the other parent (typically kids are allowed to determine their own custody arrangements at age 12 in most states). You'll even hear Dr. Laura pushing this position.

So yeah. It's normal for divorced couples to live in the same neighborhood so that the kids can see both parents.

It's not a position you'll see many people on this board supporting because we're pro-marriage, not pro-divorce. Marriages seem to stand a better chance of recovering from infidelity if the wayward knows the betrayed will not make it easy to break up the family and will only be a cooperative spouse... not a cooperative ex-spouse except as far as the law demands.


Doormat_No_More
(Formerly Barnboy)
Original thread lost in the forum purge of '09.
4 months after D-Day
1 year after D-Day
Two Years Later
Four Years Later

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