Noonday....

I cannot stress this enough. You need to go TOMORROW, if not tonight, and purchase yourself a tape recorder small enough to wear on you for anytime you are with your CRAZY (sorry) WW. I have no doubt in my mind that she will pull more stuff, and soon.

Also, please get a video camera and hide it so you can tape what goes on in your house. You really need this to protect yourself from those evil, and I mean evil, people.

Your situation has me stunned on just how horrible those two are.

Please change the locks on your doors tonight and go get a little pocket recorder at Radio Shack so you can record every conversation with your wife and this bum. They are intent on setting you up and getting you tossed in jail. These are evil, crazy people! These are very cruel, selfish people who will do or say anything to harm you, noon. I am just shaking at what they tried to do to you.

Then get down on your knees and thank God for covering your backside today! If not for your friends, you would be in jail tonight and the OM and your wife would be sharing your bed, wearing your clothes!

Please protect yourself!

Noonday, I will first congratulate you on deciding to achieve sobriety again. Above everything else, this will last you when other things fail.

I also think you should thank your Higher Power for putting those people in your life just at the right time. Your story is a graphic example of how WS manipulate to have the BS thrown out of their own house. You narrowly avoided becoming another!

I'm breathing a sigh of relief for you.

Stay close to your sponsor and to your friends. They have shown you true friendship! Even in A.A. some people will choose to look the other way. You are fortunate this did not turn out the way WW & OM PLANNED. And you know as well as anyone, this was their plan!

From this point on, you now know the truth: OM is OUT OF THE HOUSE THIS VERY INSTANT. If he has any personal belongings, pick them up and put them on the door step. You should forbid him from ever setting foot in your house again.

As for your WW, I'd offer the same advice. But there are extenuating circumstances, and if you want to recover your M, you should allow her back providing she follows conditions you set down for her.

She won't, of course. At least not for long. But it will give you the opportunity to work Plan A on her before you go into Plan B. Read up on those, and other MB principles, because right now, MB literature is as important to your marriage as A.A. literature is to your sobriety!

Again, good for you. And my far-away kudos to your friends.

And please call the police and have the OM removed if he dares to set foot on your property again! Surely he is not planning on coming back?

You were a hair away from jail tonight and you won't be so lucky the next time. They are damned and determined to have you replaced in your home.

Agreed.

The first thing that ran through my mind when I read about your situation today is that I agree God had your back.

I'm with Mel. This has shaken me up. I am soooo sorry you have to deal with this garbage.

I suggest you also pursue a restraining order against OM immediately.

Yes, definately a higher power watching over you. All I can say is Wow! They are definately lethal.

Gg

Maybe you should get one of your male friends to spend the night at your house and have someone with you tomorrow too.

I don't know if you want to save your marriage at this point, but at the minimum you need to protect yourself at this time. You might think about getting a temporary restraining order against your wife, and get a voice activated recorder to hide somewhere in your house when you are not there.

I agree that you need to change the locks immediately and get a restraining order on OM. What is happening to you is VERY serious.

Be very careful, and vent here.

Congratulations on giving up the alcohol.

God Bless you and best wishes!

Love in Christ,
Miss M

Actually, things could have been much, much, worse for you, but the end result (so far) is significantly in your favour. Your WW and her OM tried to set you up (something I expected to happen, BTW), but luckily it failed miserably, and now they are out of your home. This is a GOOD thing. You are now at a definite advantage - don't lose it!

IMO, I think you need to up the ante. What do I mean by this?

1. Contact your lawyer ASAP. Ask what charges can be filed against the OM (either by yourself or the police) for their blatent attempt to have you thrown out of your home for fraudulent reasons. Do NOT let it slide, or they may try something similar again.

2. At the very least, get a TRO filed against the OM AND YOUR WW, to make sure that they no longer have access to your home. I think that it should definitely be possible to get one based on your WW's fraudulent attempt to have you thrown out. I'm assuming that the police actually did file a report on the situation? Please confirm that they did, as you will likely need to use that as a reference for the TRO.

3. Protect your finances ASAP, if you haven't done so already. Any joint accounts? Remove half of the money from them, and save them to your personal accounts. Joint credit cards? Cancel them. Furthermore, inform your bank of the situation and ask for their advice on how to protect your assets.

4. Change the locks, as previously suggested. Do you have a burglar alarm system? Change the code if you do. If it's a remotely-monitored system, call the supplier and change your confirmation password (the one you have to utter over the phone in case they call you after the alarm goes off).

Until the TRO is in place, is there anyone you know who could "house-sit" for you if you leave your home for any reason? The idea here is to ensure that there is ALWAYS someone at the home until you've done all the legal stuff. If you have to go out for any reason and you can't get a house-sitter, consider leaving your car home and the lights and the TV on, just to leave them guessing whether or not you're actually home.

Noonday23, you are now at war, your WW is the enemy, and she has 15 years' worth of knowledge and experience about you. She's fumbled the first battle, but she may be more cunning with the ones to come. I've tried to anticipate some of her next moves here for you, but you need to do the rest.

I'm not sure where you're from, but it's not the states or one of you would have been taken to jail on the DV call. With that in mind, can you file a restraining order based on the call that occured with the police today?

I'm glad your friends were available for you today and I'm glad you've decided to stop drinking again today. One day at a time you can restore your life again.

I would highly recommend you seek a good attorney Monday and file for divorce on the grounds of adultery and the fact that your soon to be ex-wife has likely not blessed you with an immaculate conception. Ask for the fastest divorce possible and for protection and relief from your WW and OM.

On Monday, I would also seek to file every charge possible against OM and WW for attempting to bring false allegations and harm to you.

You can play nice at a later time, but do not even consider playing nice in the short term!

Commit to a meeting every day and over the next few days, do not allow yourself to be alone at any time in your house or away from your house. Your WW and OM are going to come after you again.

As for exposing at an AA meeting..... tell those Bleeding Deacons to shut up and let you speak your mind. You are in NO way violating the 12 Traditions by exposing/sharing about this situation. It is the groups responsibility to hear what you have to say as long as you are sober when speaking. I say this as a fellow member of AA with 27 years of sobriety.

I agree totaly with Fred.

Put EVERYTHING the bum owns in trash bags and set them on the curb-- right now.

If you can have a friend spend a week or so, staying with you IN your house, it can only help you keep bum out. And you supported. in your recovery. Do you see how you almost handed them the perfect crime?

Next: You must find out if you can file a complaint against your WW and OM. This sounds counterproductive you rebuilding your M-- but filing a false police report is a very serious charge- this is what they (she) tried to do against you. < it depends on the county as to how far the police will let you take it.> Here in Mich it is taken very seriously. See an attorney. You have to stand up for yourself, and NOT protect your WW from the concequences of her poor descisions.

This was a criminal act against you. Do not kid yourself. It was deliberate- and could have cost you your freedom and job.

Your friends and the lord have covered your fanny this time. You may not be so fortunate next time.

If this crazy scenario is not reason enough for you to stay commited to staying sober, I don't know what else it will take.

Follow Mels advice.

Apparently your preg. wife has been assulted, too. I am so glad that there are no children (currently) to be drug through this.

If OM will hit a his preg. girlfriend, your WW, I don't think he has any boundries. Watch yourself.

I want to say that you have an AWESOME ally in your WW's father!

Good for him to suggest that SHE leave!!!

Follow the advice you've been given and protect yourself.

I am VERY impressed with your FIL. He sounds like the kind of man who could be a hero to a lot of folks around here, since so many parents side blindly with their children, and leave the wronged spouse out in the cold.

tl

This is either the most screwed up situation I've ever read or a great short story. I don't know which.

I think the most screwed up situation. So terrible!

You guys must not have read Pariah's story. His wife shot him and left him by the side of the road for dead.

Not quite, Cat...

Close but not quite...

Oh that is terrible! It actually reminded me of my mom's late husband. His ex wife shot him too and they couldn't get the bullet out. So he suffered for years until he died. And I thought I had it bad! Is Pariah's story up here still?

I knew I got something wrong! How did it go?