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You're just a whippersnapper! I will have to be a whippersnapper from my rascal if this rate of decay continues.
Me-BS-38 Married 1997; son, 8yo Divorced April 2009
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otherwise, I am doing really well. Sorry about the back though. One day out of the blue, my knee started hurting and hasn't quit since, so I get it. And I had just signed up for Zumba too. It was the last thing on the list of New Year's Resolutions to accomplish. It's making me feel OLD though and I hate that. Any XWH sightings?
BS - me 56 XWH - 57
12/25/06 - Dday - WH promised NC. Plan A in effect. Thought we were in recovery.
6-3-07 - Dday#2 Found out NC never took place and A never ended. Found MB NC promised again, but WH would not write NC letter.
9/07 - Dday #3. Still lying and sneaking around. Plan B implemented WH wants nothing to do with me
Divorced as of 12/09 after 36 years
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I see the Z pretty regularly. DS is in baseball, so I usually see him at the games. We chit chat a little here and there, about DS and his 'stuff'. He emailed me recently that he believes he has paid his 'real or perceived karmic debt' in full, and believes this new love that he has must be the light at the end of the tunnel (I'm paraphrasing). Apparently she represents all of the things that he enjoyed in our relationship.
Uh, huh...SO WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST STAY MARRIED!!!
But it's whatever
Me-BS-38 Married 1997; son, 8yo Divorced April 2009
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I see the Z pretty regularly. DS is in baseball, so I usually see him at the games. We chit chat a little here and there, about DS and his 'stuff'. He emailed me recently that he believes he has paid his 'real or perceived karmic debt' in full, and believes this new love that he has must be the light at the end of the tunnel (I'm paraphrasing). Apparently she represents all of the things that he enjoyed in our relationship.
Uh, huh...SO WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST STAY MARRIED!!!
But it's whatever Silent! Glad you stopped in and said hello! Whatever is a great response. Next time you see him, ask him what her name is again? Ask him that every time. The new ones mean nothing to you. Maybe one day he will understand that. This isn't part of Co-parenting, this is relieving his guilt for blowing everything up. Has he stopped drinking? The Karma bus hasn't hit him yet. Glad your sounding good, sorry about the Back slipping out of joint on you again. Anything with AZman to report? LG
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LG, I don't even bother asking about his ladies anymore. He had just broken up with Lisa (told his son that they both decided to move on ) no sooner than he said that was he with this new lady. I don't even know her name this time. I figure, what's the point in asking. If she's kept around long enough (or sticks around long enough) I will learn it thru DS talking of her. In the same email that the Z mentioned his karmic debt having been paid, he talked of all of this guilt he'd been lugging around due to his choices. What precipitated that email was my informing him that I was leaving to AZ this summer, and not returning, that it was a tough decision but I just don't want to be here anymore...he was livid, told me to "stick the f'ing landing this time SL!" and more that I just don't want to lug out in this forum. What I am getting at is him believing MY choices now absolve him of his guilt. I told him that is his guilt, that I forgave him long ago, and have moved on. I can't make his guilt go away...it comes from within. ...and no, he hasn't stopped drinking but I don't believe he is drinking AS MUCH around DS. He had a party during DS's last visitation...not a kid in sight...all young adults. I can only imagine that there was plenty of drinking. DS is not blind.
Last edited by silentlucidity; 05/26/10 04:05 PM. Reason: to add the drinking stuff
Me-BS-38 Married 1997; son, 8yo Divorced April 2009
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S/L:
Wow, so you are going back to AZ! Yeah for S/L!
I hope it works out for you, this time will be ALOT better. You went into the teeth of the great recession last time.
I sure you don't want to share all the uglyness from the Z man. Because of HIS choices.
I thought from your first post about the "Karmic Bus" that maybe, just maybe, he was seeing clearly what he had wrought. Obviously not. Still only concerned about the Z.
You sound good. Sit on the other side of the field, you will get even better....
LG
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What precipitated that email was my informing him that I was leaving to AZ this summer, and not returning, that it was a tough decision but I just don't want to be here anymore...he was livid, told me to "stick the f'ing landing this time SL!"
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Wow, so you are going back to AZ! Yeah for S/L!
I hope it works out for you, this time will be ALOT better. You went into the teeth of the great recession last time. It was such a horrible time, and these last months have been very difficult. I know there are no guarantees in this life, but I still gotta get up and live it. My choices will not be ok with others. I'm okay with that. At the end of it all, if I have helped to raise a good man, one who is open and honest and able to deal with the curve balls of life, then I give myself a passing grade. Better yet, if he has children and raises them to be good people, that is when I am graded. I thought from your first post about the "Karmic Bus" that maybe, just maybe, he was seeing clearly what he had wrought. Obviously not. Still only concerned about the Z AS I was reading, I thought this too, then I read on...and it just became a huge justification for his actions. I give another whatever to that one. I dunno, I know I wasn't the nicest lady to deal with after his infidelity, and probably made it easy for him to choose to keep leaving, but I don't believe I deserved all of that pain. HE should have stuck the f'ing landing when he chose to step out on his wife in the first place...
Last edited by silentlucidity; 05/26/10 04:18 PM.
Me-BS-38 Married 1997; son, 8yo Divorced April 2009
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Wow, so you are going back to AZ! Yeah for S/L!
I hope it works out for you, this time will be ALOT better. You went into the teeth of the great recession last time. It was such a horrible time, and these last months have been very difficult. I know there are no guarantees in this life, but I still gotta get up and live it. My choices will not be ok with others. I'm okay with that. At the end of it all, if I have helped to raise a good man, one who is open and honest and able to deal with the curve balls of life, then I give myself a passing grade. Better yet, if he has children and raises them to be good people, that is when I am graded. Remember to breathe. You are right in all you say here. Do the best you can do, that's all you can expect from yourself.
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So good to read posts from you SL! don't believe I deserved all of that pain No you didn't. None of us did. Yet, we endured, survived, and we are all at various points of Thriving. I'm pleased to hear you are planning to get back to AZ. I so admire your pursuing your dreams! And as for raising a good man, there's not a doubt in my mind that the world is a better place and he is a lucky boy for having you as his Mother!
BS (me) ExWS -Drac DD 9 DSS 15 D Day 11/06 Divorced 10/01/07
"You Can't Fix Stupid" - My Mom
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I'm pleased to hear you are planning to get back to AZ. I so admire your pursuing your dreams! It's a little scary, but the alternative is never trying for the dreams I have. Seems sad to me. DS will be home this evening and things kinda go back to normal for the next week. Nice long weekend that we can spend together and that he can spend with his friends. It would be a good one to get in the pool. Ho Hum I miss the pool. Oh, well, I can hook up the sprinkler for him or look into kickin it at the local swimmin hole Thanks for dropping by
Me-BS-38 Married 1997; son, 8yo Divorced April 2009
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he was livid, told me to "stick the f'ing landing this time SL!" How about I stick my f'ing K-Bar between his ribs. Okay, I am officially having a bad wayward day. Like we F'ing need their stupid f'ing advice? Wow! I need to step away from the screen now.
Testosterone boys! Testosterone! It ain’t just for nose, ear and back hair anymore!
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[quote] he was livid, told me to "stick the f'ing landing this time SL!" Am I the only one here who doesn't get this? Obviously everyone else does, so I must be having an airhead moment or something. I just have not heard this phrase before. Would someone kindly explain it?
BS - me 56 XWH - 57
12/25/06 - Dday - WH promised NC. Plan A in effect. Thought we were in recovery.
6-3-07 - Dday#2 Found out NC never took place and A never ended. Found MB NC promised again, but WH would not write NC letter.
9/07 - Dday #3. Still lying and sneaking around. Plan B implemented WH wants nothing to do with me
Divorced as of 12/09 after 36 years
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It�s a pilot or gymnastics term for coming down firmly on the wheels (aircraft) or your feet (gymnast). Like when a gymnast comes off the uneven parallel bars and plants her feet on the landing with no stumble. She "stuck" the landing.
Last edited by chrisner; 05/27/10 09:14 AM.
Testosterone boys! Testosterone! It ain’t just for nose, ear and back hair anymore!
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Okey Dokey... I get it now.
BS - me 56 XWH - 57
12/25/06 - Dday - WH promised NC. Plan A in effect. Thought we were in recovery.
6-3-07 - Dday#2 Found out NC never took place and A never ended. Found MB NC promised again, but WH would not write NC letter.
9/07 - Dday #3. Still lying and sneaking around. Plan B implemented WH wants nothing to do with me
Divorced as of 12/09 after 36 years
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Trust me, when I read that line, I laughed a little. HE'S telling ME to stick the landing. HE'S telling me how much damage I may be doing to our child. HE'S deciding that he's paid his karmic debt in full with interest (I'm not kidding---he said that).
Had the job not booted my [censored] and the job market not even had crumbs for me, I wouldn't be here. I came here tail between my legs, thankful that my former boss would give me a job. I never wanted to come back here. DS suffered not because I was waffling on my move, but because I had very little choice in order to provide for him. The Z COULD have started the settlement back then, so I would have a cushion so as to not F with his son's life, but Noooooooooo....I had to push and push and push.
But I need to stick that landing.
Uh huh. It's whatever.
Me-BS-38 Married 1997; son, 8yo Divorced April 2009
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Trust me, when I read that line, I laughed a little. HE'S telling ME to stick the landing. HE'S telling me how much damage I may be doing to our child. HE'S deciding that he's paid his karmic debt in full with interest (I'm not kidding---he said that).
Had the job not booted my [censored] and the job market not even had crumbs for me, I wouldn't be here. I came here tail between my legs, thankful that my former boss would give me a job. I never wanted to come back here. DS suffered not because I was waffling on my move, but because I had very little choice in order to provide for him. The Z COULD have started the settlement back then, so I would have a cushion so as to not F with his son's life, but Noooooooooo....I had to push and push and push.
But I need to stick that landing.
Uh huh. It's whatever. Need a K-Bar?
Testosterone boys! Testosterone! It ain’t just for nose, ear and back hair anymore!
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What a sweet gesture
Me-BS-38 Married 1997; son, 8yo Divorced April 2009
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What a sweet gesture That's me all over! I wonder if these ladies worry about adultery? I'll bet they have no problem protecting their boundries.
Last edited by chrisner; 05/27/10 11:19 AM.
Testosterone boys! Testosterone! It ain’t just for nose, ear and back hair anymore!
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Me-BS-38 Married 1997; son, 8yo Divorced April 2009
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