Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our discussion forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 2
X
Junior Member
OP Offline
Junior Member
X
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 2
of simple romantic things? I feel like a goof for asking. It's just I have brought it up a lot during the last year and he doesn't seem to want to do it at all. He may be viewing me asking him about it as me pestering him. Even though I have tried my best to avoid doing that.

The romantic things I'm talking about are simple. I.E. home cooked candle-light dinner for two/four, a moon lit stroll, etc. I've asked him about his thoughts of romance and the best I got out of him was him playing video games while I watch. Maybe add a small conversation about the game, but not much more.

Granted he is in the military and I don't get to see him often. That's not a reason to why there should be no romance in our marriage. Each time he is home and I get to see him I may bring it up once MAYBE twice, max. The way I see it is that I've given him PLENTY of opportunity to do something small simple and romantic.

This last time he was home, I didn't bring it up at all. Should I have? Or am I just being overly hopeful? Should I leave it as a fantasy that will never be full filled? Or should I continue to "pester" him about it?

Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 6,870
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 6,870
If you find the answer we can bottle it and sell it. It will sell better than viagra I bet.

Being a former husband who has been guilty of that type of neglect before in my marriage the only excuse I can give for myself was really just that, an excuse. I thought it was because I was too busy or that I was too tired but I'll admit I was to lazy sometimes. Not all the time though because I worked a lot of jobs and had a lot of stress.


Ok I just couldn't resist the bottle it joke and now I will leave the pros to answer this..

Seroius tho I will help you market the answer


Me 56 Former BS
Widowed 5-17-09 --married 25 years.
4 children
DS-35 previous marriage--18-22 DGrandSons 6 and 4
Me former BS
DD-29 with DGDs 5 and 1yr
DSs 26 and 23
Teilhard de Chardin..We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience. ...Sounds about right to me.
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 6,870
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 6,870
Im surprised nobody answered this post. Its a very important and common problem that woman go thru.

I hopethat some of the experts pick up on this one.

Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 5,312
_
Member
Offline
Member
_
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 5,312
Hello,

I'm not an expert nor am I a 'pro'...but I have some thoughts on your questions posed.

First about the possible reasons you've received so few responses: These smaller forums attract fewer posters. It might be better to repost this thread on the Marriage Builders 101 forum at the top of the discussion board.

My story on this forum details how we dealt with these problems for many decades. We also found much of our solution through the MB promises:

Care
Protection
Honesty
Time

The single truth that helped us begin to realize HOW to overcome this was "Always strive to be the source of your spouses happiness; NEVER be the source of your spouses UN-happiness."

HOW?

Understand the Emotional Needs concepts and how they affect your spouses Love Bank. All the information is included for free on the articles and questions/answers found throughout this web site. It may not work well for all but it certainly worked for us. (See my saga linked to my sig line for details.)

Purchase additional books and cds for more indepth ideas.

Call the counseling center for step-by-step guidance on how to accomplish your goals.

Also, there is a new forum above for military marriages...you might consider reposting this there if not on the Marriage Builders 101 forum.

Best wishes to you in your efforts.

Ace


FWH/BW (me)57+ M:36+ yr.
4 D-Days: Jun-Nov 06 E/PA~OW#2 (OW#1 2000)

Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 23 guests, and 41 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Man in Dallas, NHgirl66, Hibiscus_22, Isaiah46.4, Ethereal15
71,607 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,512
Posts2,322,342
Members71,607
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2020, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.  |  Web Development by SunStar Media.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5