of simple romantic things? I feel like a goof for asking. It's just I have brought it up a lot during the last year and he doesn't seem to want to do it at all. He may be viewing me asking him about it as me pestering him. Even though I have tried my best to avoid doing that.

The romantic things I'm talking about are simple. I.E. home cooked candle-light dinner for two/four, a moon lit stroll, etc. I've asked him about his thoughts of romance and the best I got out of him was him playing video games while I watch. Maybe add a small conversation about the game, but not much more.

Granted he is in the military and I don't get to see him often. That's not a reason to why there should be no romance in our marriage. Each time he is home and I get to see him I may bring it up once MAYBE twice, max. The way I see it is that I've given him PLENTY of opportunity to do something small simple and romantic.

This last time he was home, I didn't bring it up at all. Should I have? Or am I just being overly hopeful? Should I leave it as a fantasy that will never be full filled? Or should I continue to "pester" him about it?

If you find the answer we can bottle it and sell it. It will sell better than viagra I bet.

Being a former husband who has been guilty of that type of neglect before in my marriage the only excuse I can give for myself was really just that, an excuse. I thought it was because I was too busy or that I was too tired but I'll admit I was to lazy sometimes. Not all the time though because I worked a lot of jobs and had a lot of stress.


Ok I just couldn't resist the bottle it joke and now I will leave the pros to answer this..

Seroius tho I will help you market the answer

Im surprised nobody answered this post. Its a very important and common problem that woman go thru.

I hopethat some of the experts pick up on this one.

Hello,

I'm not an expert nor am I a 'pro'...but I have some thoughts on your questions posed.

First about the possible reasons you've received so few responses: These smaller forums attract fewer posters. It might be better to repost this thread on the Marriage Builders 101 forum at the top of the discussion board.

My story on this forum details how we dealt with these problems for many decades. We also found much of our solution through the MB promises:

Care
Protection
Honesty
Time

The single truth that helped us begin to realize HOW to overcome this was "Always strive to be the source of your spouses happiness; NEVER be the source of your spouses UN-happiness."

HOW?

Understand the Emotional Needs concepts and how they affect your spouses Love Bank. All the information is included for free on the articles and questions/answers found throughout this web site. It may not work well for all but it certainly worked for us. (See my saga linked to my sig line for details.)

Purchase additional books and cds for more indepth ideas.

Call the counseling center for step-by-step guidance on how to accomplish your goals.

Also, there is a new forum above for military marriages...you might consider reposting this there if not on the Marriage Builders 101 forum.

Best wishes to you in your efforts.

Ace