looking at the bigger picture is difficult when the small parts are the most painful.

love and peace to all (except the dr) I am going to have to go to bed soon. My wife is waiting for me there. Neglect, i believe, is on the list of no no's.

Oh, please.

(A plaintive outburst from the doormat of the NFC East)

for me, what I have learned today is that my situation is pretty good actually however it came about. I am troubled by a past incident that I have forgiven for and will take time to forget it in it's current form. Hopefully it will eventually be a reminder of where neglect can lead and not a reminder of the mistakes we can all make.
I am grateful to all that have taken time to write. I wish you all the very best and know my heart is in the right place, perhaps my head is taking a while to catch up.
I had a 12 week scan yesterday followed by a funeral. Circle of life and all that.
I do know that it is for living and spending time in guilt is not healthy. It is a useless emotion that serves no one. People here today have attempted to make me feel that way over and over and I refuse to be shafted by it. Regret is something different. I, as Frank said, have a few, but I wake with a smile when i see who is next to me and fall in love all over again. I am a lucky one. I wish the same to all.

LOL Fred!!!!

I wish I understood what you were saying Fred. could you explain before I leave for bed ?

That's what I've been saying as well, Cat. How about we call a moratorium on bingo's pile-on and proceed with the mechanics he needs? He's not going to get religion re the sanctity of M today. But I am convinced he WILL, will help from the folks here and a willingness to learn. As a matter of fact, I can see bingo on here on future postings, sagely giving accurate advice to newbies. Let's roll with this guy, shall we?

What I have been trying to say since the first response I gave you, was that you need to look first at yourself. You need to find out what your shortcomings are/have been and correct those before you can hope to be the best husband, and have the best marriage possible.

Posting here and arguing against those with whom you don't agree is fruitless. When I first arrived here, I balked at doing some of the things that I was told to do. But it was pointed out to me that these people knew what they were talking about and I didn't. Humility is the first step in becoming stronger and willing.

No need maritalbliss, I am done with being judged. I would love to help others and spent many years working on the phones over here in the UK as a samaritan. I have heard a great deal and dealt with a great deal, but the unhealthy way people are lambasted here is not structural. I understand that I am married to someone who is considered a husband stealer, but you don't know her and you don't know us.
We made a few idiotic mistakes along the way. I mainly, but we got to where we need to be. I just find the forgetting part tricky. I obsess and always have done. can be a very useful tool in business but not so if it turns against you.
Thank you though for your kindness.

i will go away and work on myself. after all I have to live with me 24/7 and I know that my shortcomings are many and varied. I want to do this for me and my wife, but mainly US. Thanks for the wise words.

:::sitting up, folding hands primly::: My goodness...why, are you two attempting...jocularity?...lightening up the moment, perhaps?...goodness! Because those two teams SUCK!!

Back to your regularly scheduled post...

Oh my heart!!

I like the LIONS...

poor me

Dr. W

I can not get over.....,why?

You cheated with a cheater. Then married her, a cheater. Time goes by and what does the cheater do? She cheats on you.

You reap what you sow.

For the last time. I never cheated, nor did she as I was getting divorced. She did cheat on me because I was not fulfilling any of her needs. That's true.
Yes I reaped what I sowed. How wonderfully helpful in a "how to survive and affair" forum.
Brilliant insight

**edit**

Keep reading.

Flambeauone was edited for multiple aliases so someone was double posting and I think that is the person who said Mr Wondering was a lawyer.