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Until she has quit and deleted, you should continue with exposure. Her words mean nothing at this point. Do not back down now. Great news - DO NOT BACK DOWN!
Me: BH 60 - Married 21 years
ExW had an EA beginning 09/09 (Facebook)
After a few false recoveries, I filed for D 05/11
D final 03/12
'Be Mindful of Your Many Blessings and Endeavor Daily to be Worthy of Them'
Jay Severin
'Life is a gift and it offers each of us the privilege, the opportunity and the responsibility to give something back by becoming something more'
Tony Robbins
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Wife agreed last night to quit work and delete facebook....but acted like I was forcing her to do something she didn't want to do.... Was a NC letter in your specifications? If not, it should be.
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
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jcb,
""Wife agreed last night to quit work and delete facebook....""
Talks cheap, brother and waywards lie.
You should forge on ahead.
Stay strong.
kirk
CORDUROY PILLOWS ARE MAKING HEADLINES!!
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Wife agreed last night to quit work and delete facebook....but acted like I was forcing her to do something she didn't want to do.... Yep, so did mine, and despite our bizarre back-and-forth in recovery, we ARE in recovery. With some work from a counselor (appointment with Jennifer from Sunday) and better enforcement of my personal boundaries, I have high hopes that my wife will recognize her wayward thinking and quit it. Step 1 was that extremely reluctant, "you're twisting my arm" agreement to quit all contact, put in place extraordinary precautions, etc. If she went back to work today, though... dude, she needs to file her notice that she's done as of right now, not in two weeks.
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Wife agreed last night to quit work and delete facebook....but acted like I was forcing her to do something she didn't want to do.... Talk is CHEAP. The only thing that is acceptable is action. When will she quit? Will the facebook be deleted today? And will she send the nc letter to the OM? Also, the OM's GF still has to be told about the affair.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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One of my best comical disarming lines I have used to difuse a situation "Talk is cheap..and so am I!" The curse is that from that day forth every time I see or hear "Talk is cheap" a little voice goes off in my head like Roger rabbit and says "and so am I" 
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Latest update..
Wife quit her job, gave 1 week notice...
Deleted facebook account entirely...
She admitted everything to our kids and told her mother..
Told me it was OK if I confronted the Om and girlfriend
We spent the entire weekend talking, she told me all the details I asked about (most wasn't as bad as I thought)
Anyways, we'll see what happens...
Very hopeful right now..
Thanks for everyone's help!
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Latest update..
Wife quit her job, gave 1 week notice...
Deleted facebook account entirely...
She admitted everything to our kids and told her mother..
Told me it was OK if I confronted the Om and girlfriend
We spent the entire weekend talking, she told me all the details I asked about (most wasn't as bad as I thought)
Anyways, we'll see what happens...
Very hopeful right now..
Thanks for everyone's help! Well! I'm impressed! I was a little worried about you, jcb. 
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Latest update..
Wife quit her job, gave 1 week notice...
Deleted facebook account entirely...
She admitted everything to our kids and told her mother..
Told me it was OK if I confronted the Om and girlfriend
We spent the entire weekend talking, she told me all the details I asked about (most wasn't as bad as I thought)
Anyways, we'll see what happens...
Very hopeful right now..
Thanks for everyone's help! You changed from a SERF into a KNIGHT right before our eyes. Way to stand up for your marriage and lead your FAMILY! 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Awesome! Sounds like a win to me. I love happy endings.
Preach the Gospel every day. When necessary, use words.
St. Francis of Assissi
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Sorry, no cute icons, but GREAT JOB!
Me: BH 60 - Married 21 years
ExW had an EA beginning 09/09 (Facebook)
After a few false recoveries, I filed for D 05/11
D final 03/12
'Be Mindful of Your Many Blessings and Endeavor Daily to be Worthy of Them'
Jay Severin
'Life is a gift and it offers each of us the privilege, the opportunity and the responsibility to give something back by becoming something more'
Tony Robbins
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CORDUROY PILLOWS ARE MAKING HEADLINES!!
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Glad to hear it.
Now, GET TO WORK on that recovery plan.
Your real battle is in front of you.
Stay strong, come here for support!
Me:BW, FWH 1DD 1DS
Status: Chronicled in Dr. Suess's "The Zax"
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Latest update..
We spent the entire weekend talking, she told me all the details I asked about (most wasn't as bad as I thought) Trickle truth is usually a problem for recovery. WS usually lie. Did she admit sex with OM?
But I, being poor, have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams -Yeats
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Now the real work begins.
Best of luck in your recovery!
xring
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She did admit to having sex with OM. Explained in detail. It wasn't as bad hearing about it as I has made it out to be.
I will be giving frequent updates, and I just wanted to say how much I appreciate all the good advice. I NEVER would have made it this far if I hadn't found MB and all the good people here. Maybe someday I can give someone in a similar situation a piece of good advice here and help them through their dark times.
Thank you so much!
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Remind her that truth in dribbles drags out and delays your recovery.
Don't believe much of what you hear until she earns your trust.
Make sure she understands that the full truth now is better to hear than having it drag out over time. Your time will continue to piece things together and you will know in your gut when something isn't quite right.
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Remind her that truth in dribbles drags out and delays your recovery.
Don't believe much of what you hear until she earns your trust.
Make sure she understands that the full truth now is better to hear than having it drag out over time. Your time will continue to piece things together and you will know in your gut when something isn't quite right. Good advice JCB Grats on the beginning of recovery. You will have ups and downs so come back if you needs us k? Hope you are usin the harleys.
Me 56 Former BS Widowed 5-17-09 --married 25 years. 4 children DS-35 previous marriage--18-22 DGrandSons 6 and 4 Me former BS DD-29 with DGDs 5 and 1yr DSs 26 and 23 Teilhard de Chardin..“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” ...Sounds about right to me.
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Are you kidding me?  Just one 2x4 upside your head from the RookKev and you get your wife to come clean, quit her job, and delete accounts? My goodness, I must have perfected my swing!!!  All kidding aside, that is great news. Now comes the part I tried to mention. Your recovery is going to hinge upon your ability to forgive. Not necessarily feel like forgiveness yet, but ACTING like you are trying to forgive will go a long ways. Remember, she didn't end up where she is without you failing a bit on your part in the marriage. Don't expect a whole lot of 'good' stuff from her right now. It is a long slow road...decide that your actions will not hinge upon her actions or emotions for awhile (maybe forever). If you can begin to operate off of what you think/know, rather than what you feel, you will safeguard yourself from her mood swings that will come. Good luck, and hang in there. (by the way, I think i'm just past 6 years of recovery now...and my wife's last comments to me the other night was she was so glad we have a marriage like we have...)
9 years now ... and some days you still say grrr!
Hang in there.
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