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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 1
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Jan 2010
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Several months ago, my wife started an A with a married co-worker, which I discovered after several months. We attempted reconciliation but it was unsuccessful because she couldn't stop seeing the OM. Towards the end of the false reconciliation, she asked for divorce for about the 3rd time. I was going to file, then I got a job and decided to let her do it. She didn't. I stopped communicating with her for about 2 month until I could get myself in order and move away to a new job.
We share a dog and a house that we are trying to sell. During the NC time, she would periodically contact me about the house. I was annoyed but dealt with it. When I moved, she decided to communicate again. Most of it was related to the house, however it also included things such as pictures of the dog.
Over the past few weeks, she and I have gotten along OK. Our conversations are pretty superficial, and I still don't initiate conversation much because I do not want to get to deeply connected to her. Today, after several months of waiting, I asked her what she wanted to do, and she said she didn't know. She's very complacent and doesn't want to change things. She will stall whenver possible. Our conversation today was a rehash of old conversations, which is to say mostly blaming me for all the marriages problems. She consistently refused to file for divorce. I'm not sure how to proceed, but I told her tonight that she needed to give me an answer in the next 48 hours. Thoughts?
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464 |
Have you exposed this affair to family and friends and most especially her employer? Also his family and friends. Is this scumbag married?
If you can end the affair her head will clear remarkably quickly.
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 4,554
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 4,554 |
Several months ago, my wife started an A with a married co-worker, which I discovered after several months. We attempted reconciliation but it was unsuccessful because she couldn't stop seeing the OM. Towards the end of the false reconciliation, she asked for divorce for about the 3rd time. I was going to file, then I got a job and decided to let her do it. She didn't. I stopped communicating with her for about 2 month until I could get myself in order and move away to a new job.
We share a dog and a house that we are trying to sell. During the NC time, she would periodically contact me about the house. I was annoyed but dealt with it. When I moved, she decided to communicate again. Most of it was related to the house, however it also included things such as pictures of the dog.
Over the past few weeks, she and I have gotten along OK. Our conversations are pretty superficial, and I still don't initiate conversation much because I do not want to get to deeply connected to her. Today, after several months of waiting, I asked her what she wanted to do, and she said she didn't know. She's very complacent and doesn't want to change things. She will stall whenver possible. Our conversation today was a rehash of old conversations, which is to say mostly blaming me for all the marriages problems. She consistently refused to file for divorce. I'm not sure how to proceed, but I told her tonight that she needed to give me an answer in the next 48 hours. Thoughts? How long have you been M'd? When did you move out of your own home? Did you expose her A to her employers, family, friends?
ManInMotion
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(see "MiM's Story" for more details)
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
Member
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Member
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357 |
Several months ago, my wife started an A with a married co-worker, which I discovered after several months. We attempted reconciliation but it was unsuccessful because she couldn't stop seeing the OM. Towards the end of the false reconciliation, she asked for divorce for about the 3rd time. I was going to file, then I got a job and decided to let her do it. She didn't. I stopped communicating with her for about 2 month until I could get myself in order and move away to a new job.
We share a dog and a house that we are trying to sell. During the NC time, she would periodically contact me about the house. I was annoyed but dealt with it. When I moved, she decided to communicate again. Most of it was related to the house, however it also included things such as pictures of the dog.
Over the past few weeks, she and I have gotten along OK. Our conversations are pretty superficial, and I still don't initiate conversation much because I do not want to get to deeply connected to her. Today, after several months of waiting, I asked her what she wanted to do, and she said she didn't know. She's very complacent and doesn't want to change things. She will stall whenver possible. Our conversation today was a rehash of old conversations, which is to say mostly blaming me for all the marriages problems. She consistently refused to file for divorce. I'm not sure how to proceed, but I told her tonight that she needed to give me an answer in the next 48 hours. Thoughts? Is she still working with OM? Have you exposed this A to their employer? Have you exposed this A to her family, your family, your dog  . Seriously, you need to expose the A to EVERYONE who can put pressure on your WW to end it. Most importantly: Have you exposed this A to OM's WIFE? This is an absolute MUST!
Last edited by maritalbliss; 01/14/10 09:38 AM.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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