I was never good at it, I admit it, I need some reverse babble help.

Situation: I know a BW IRL. She is "sort of" in Plan A. (I know, I am trying to get her to look at the board.) WH basically is uninvolved in the M at this point, with her and kids. He has been picked up by an executive recruiting headhunting firm and has called BW with the news. Which puts her in a tizzy and starts DJs and LBs because he is out pursuing a new career, essentially rubbing her nose in it.

So what is the reverse babble response to basically:

"Hey honey, I got picked up by a high dollar recruiting firm so it looks like my career is taking off..."

All I can come up with is:

"That's great news honey, after all you title is more important than your time with your kids."

Any suggestions? Or is that good?

Now you can afford huge alimony and CS payments.

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NC, I would recommend radical honesty. She should tell him how upset she is and WHY.

Is her H having an affair?

As far as the reverse babble goes, my most effective answer was "empathize and redirect". Whatever she said that I agreed with, I agreed with that it was happening to me, too, and expressed how nice it would be to no longer have those feelings because we would be together without the other man in the picture anymore.

Not exactly reverse-babble, but it worked for me and made sure I was consistent with the message I wished to project. What's funny is I discussed some of these with FWW the other night, and she said it's a common psychological technique called "reframing" to put a patient into a receptive frame of mind to what you're suggesting.

She's studying to be a mental health therapist. Amazing she didn't diagnose me when I used these on her. Did tend to infuriate her a bit when I refused to engage... but when I refused to be furious in exchange, she stopped being mad...

"You're pushing me away by being so controlling!"
Answer: "Oh, I know what you mean, it was so painful to be pushed away by my spouse's behavior, too. I'd love to do something that pulls us together instead. How about we go do something together?"

"Telling everyone about what you call my 'affair' is so vengeful and mean. There's no correlation between me not talking to OM and you involving everybody else in our marriage! None!"
Answer: "Yeah, affairs result in a lot of mean behavior. I like being nice to each other. Would you like a glass of water?"

"Our problems have nothing to do with the other man."
Answer: "I agree, let's never let the other man cause problems between us ever again. I'd love to rub your feet while you write the no-contact letter we discussed so that can be a reality."

"He told me we have a really good marriage, and he never wanted to do anything to endanger it."
Answer: "I think we can have a really good marriage when he's no longer a danger to it, too!"

"I'm sure you would like him/her under different circumstances."
Answer: "I agree, let's make some different circumstances so we never have to find out if I'd like him or not."

"OM hasn't had sex with OMW for years."
Answer: "I love having sex with you! Would you like to try to break some records of our own tonight?"

"OM's marriage is none of your business."
Answer: "I agree, how can I help make sure OM stays out of your business from now on?"

"I never meant to hurt you."
Answer: "I never wanted to be hurt. Let's stop the hurt and go out for some ice cream!"

Things like that are my approach...

Yes Mel, he is. She has tried the radical honesty. He just isn't interested in working on it. I'm not sure she is either. May be a case of got the tools too late.