So take action to get the evidence.

Is OM still living with his wife?

Can't tell; he goes home on weekends occasionally, in another state.

So that would be effectively NO. How convenient he has his wife on weekends sometimes and your wife the rest of the time. Lovely.

Get evidence. Considering you are already living apart from your wife, the chances of your IL's accepting/believing anything is even lower. My WXH asked moved out 2 weeks after d-day into an apartment with OW and her then 6 year old DD. I exposed to my MIL in between this time, yet she still believed that WXH met this woman during these 2 weeks, fell in love and decided to live together.

Edited to add that I just noticed in your other thread that she moved out in the fall of 2008. I believe you may have a very tough time convincing your inlaws about an affair now. Though you may still be legally married and any relationship she has with another man is still adultery, your ILs are going to be more easily swayed by her statements that the marriage is long over. Before anybody gets hot and bothered about what is or isn't adultery, it doesn't really matter for this thread. The ILs are going to have their rose-coloured glasses on with respect to their daughter and they aren't here reading these boards anyway.

Why when asked if you have contacted the OMW you avoid answering that question.

You must conact the OMW now. You have enough "proof" now to call the OMW.

Tabby,

Thanks for your comments. For the record, my wife moved out three months ago, in the fall of 2009. I also saw my IL's for three days in May of last year. So they're not strangers. However, I worry that, as you say, they will be wearing their rose-colored glasses.

The Road,

I'm not ducking your question; I just didn't get to it.


Picking the right time to expose isn't easy.

On the one hand, I want to expose to the OM'sW and my IL's in one fell swoop. I don't want my WW or the OM to have the time to spin my comments or trash me before I expose.

On the other hand, airing my suspicions to the OM's W might give me evidence to present to my IL's. And if the OM's W gives me good evidence, I don't need to hire a private eye, which I don't want to do but will do if necessary.