Should I sign up for it?

I don't think it's active anymore. I signed up before the crash, but no one had posted anything on there in a long time. I'm not sure if anyone's posting there now, since I didn't bother to ask for access again after the site came back up.

i think originally it was to give those working thru an A w/ OC a forum for conversation dealing with the special circumstances involved with that situation.

It was created as a place for those with OC/preg. type issues a place to post. Access was to those that requested and had enough posts on this site that they actually had some familiarity with the MB approach to things.

There was a time when often very new posters would chime in and in their pain inflict more pain than help. So the private area was created. You did not have to be in that situation, but you did have to have enough experience with MB to be more help than harm.

I guess the good news is that there are fewer coming here with this sort of problem. Although I will say some of the best/kindest/helpful folks were in this category.

A few like Pops, AD, Kimmy still post here, so you are still getting good experienced advice.

God Bless,

JL

JL~ I actually posted in the private section a few months ago to answer your inquiry, (made in this forum), of how things are going for me. Maybe you never saw it? Anyway, just wanted to let you know in case you've read it or will now read it-- I am thrilled to report I have had a complete 180 turnaround since then. It was a combination of something faithfulfollower said, pops said, AND a sermon my pastor gave shortly after I posted, which literally caused me to run to the front of the church and fall to my knees at the altar.

What wonderful, wonderful news!

AD - there are people who have never met you who want the very best for you and yours and are prayin'/pullin' for you all!

Thank you Kimmy, that really means a lot to me. FF~ Thank you too, and maybe one of these days I'll go into some of the details of the transformation of my M. For now I'll say, things are so much better, and mostly because I made a CHOICE to make them better... actually I make choices daily to make things better. I know the sermon my pastor gave that Sunday was straight from God to me and I was convicted immediately.

God is so good!

Gack,

"Forum Entry Requirements: 45 post minimum and Member status with demonstrated understanding of Marriage Builders� principles and concepts."

You qualify for access to this forum if you desire access. But I have to warn you, it's not very active anymore. There is some interesting reading there but far more posts and traffic on this regular P/C forum.

The Private P/C forum was created in 2001 due to the need for some security & protection for those dealing with the OC issues. Recovering/rebuilding a marriage after infidelity is so difficult but adding a pregnancy/innocent child to the mix makes it even harder. At that time we had an abundance of OW posting on MB with no intent other than to taunt & antagonize & they seemed to target those posting on the P/C forum. Add to that some probably well-meaning but VERY uninformed MB members posting from the perspective that "I'm not in this situation BUT IF I were...." We all know it's easy to say what you would do IF....BUT until you walk in those shoes.....! Therefore---the Private Forum. Most of the original members have moved on and we've had very few new additions.

Isn't it amazing that when we least expect it and need it most, God speaks directly to us

AD,

You are right I never saw your post. I think it must have gotten lost in the great disk crash of 09. I am sorry I did not, but if you get the time a long update would be cool.

God Bless,

JL

JL~
I just checked, it's still there. For some reason, I think the Private Forum is stuck on some odd setting, and you have to manually change the "sort by" choice to "last post". It shows then. However, I haven't added the update of good news to the thread. I could always add it here, but I don't like going into too much detail in the more open forum. Heck, I don't like going into too much detail in the more private forum-- always paranoid someone will recognize me. Good, I'm glad it's just a matter of you not seeing it. I was somewhat afraid you read it, and thought, forget her-- she's a lost cause.

AD,

Your right. I went to the forum and had to hit the posting button over the dates and everything changed and there you were. I read the thread. I have many thoughts I will respond either here or there which ever you are more comfortable with.

But, I will offer you this right now. I always find it amazing how we don't see within ourselves and those close to us, what others see.

What do I mean? You have always been one of my favorites. I see/hear/read/whatever a good person who made bad mistake. I always thought that you actually did/do love your H and deeply regretted what you had done. It just seemed to come through in every post you made either about your situation or someone elses.

By the same token, I always thought that your H loved you far more than you realized and perhaps he realized. I always thought he loved your child because: 1. It was just an innocent in all of this. BUT 2. This child was part of you and he loved you.

It seemed clear from what you have posted about him all of these years.

I just never understood why you and your H didn't seem to see what I saw. AND, I will say, that it seemed to me others saw the same things.

I am delighted that you and your marriage have made a turn around. My guess is that perhaps you both realize how much you love the other...FINALLY.

God Bless,

JL