I recently heard about a woman in Rhode Island who sued OW for wrecking her perfectly good marriage...she won...maybe if this happened more often OW/OM may rethink<BR>whether to jump in bed with a married person.<BR>It might be an incentive not to initiate this <BR>type of behavior. I thought of threatening the OW with this...if she and H don't stop...Any ideas/thoughts about this ?<BR>

I hope this is true. The OM my W is with is filthy rich. I would love to take his $$.

Well, it depends upon the state. You might want to be safe rather than sorry for using that threat and check with an attorney about your options before using it. Also, find out what would be required to prove alienation of affections (I believe this is what you are referring to) you may have to prove that the marriage was perfectly good to begin with and I am sorry to say that's a hard one to prove! You also would probably have to prove that she did something specific to alienate your H from you. Good luck and God Bless!<P>------------------<BR>Chick's <BR>Bren<P>You won't see things until your ready to not be blind!<P><BR>

Amazing that this topic has been presented on this forum. I have been in contact with the attorney representing my H in the paternity thing and have expressed my desire to sue the poop out of the OW for alienation of affection. knowing full well on the onset of the fling that my H was married and deliberately allowed herself to get pregnant and kept the baby and is holding us financially hostage for the next two decadeds.<BR>In my case, it just ain't about money, because she has none. It's the principle of it. Because of her and my H's willful, selfish behavior, my life is changed forever and I no longer feel the joy in my life I had on a daily basis dor 20 years.<BR>Chalk it up to attitude or revenge if you want, but mostly, it's for vindication or some kind of satisfactiion because she's been begging for money since before she got knocked up and has had us in court three times before the kid was born demanding money before the DNA results have been revealed. These results will be revealed Monday. I alreafy know it's my H's, but, I keep praying that by some strange miracle it won't be his and it isn't true. Oh, if only....<BR>

yes you can sue....BUT its very expensive. you have a better chance of winning if you sue on 'actual' damages...like lost wages due to missed work or counseling appts or depression...<BR>you do in my state have to prove the marriage was 'viable' before the affair and that the affair itself led to the breakdown of the marriage. lawyers like things such as if you kept a journal or have emails from your H where he was all 'lovey' right before he took up with her...<BR>it's hard to do and expensive....but good luck....<P>------------------<BR>Kellie<BR>Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough<P>

Perhaps you could get a lawyer on a contingency basis. They get their fee from the "winnings."

Ya can in NC and don't think it didn't cross my mind...even told H I thought about it!<P><P>------------------<BR>Joan <P>"Turn your wounds into wisdom..." That really cool black gal who was on Oprah all summer.<BR>

I told my H about this and how I could sue her and he turned it around on me and told me that she could sue me for harassment and he was afraid we could lose our business and not to even think about doing anything like this. It did make me think more about it...you see...she does not own anything, is newly divorced, got very little from ex-H and lives in an apartment....she has nothing to lose...but we do. At that point my H got me angry because, after all she and H put me through, it felt as if she has the upper hand and I should watch out for her. Isn't that ridiculous ?

I checked on this one too and it cannot be done in the state of NY, but my lawyer did offer to serve OW with papers stating she was the cause of divorce, probs, etc. I was told she could do this at her place of work and she had some people who very good at making a big deal of it and causing quite a bit of embarrassment. I was all for that one! Fortunately we never got the divorce so papers were never filed, but man I would have love to have been a fly on the wall for that one.

sad forever,<BR>Recently there was a movie on cable called "The Price of a Broken Heart" that dealt with a woman that successfully sued the OW. It was on the Life channel. You might check with them if that channel is available in your area and see if they have plans to rerun it. I don't remember in which state this story took place but it is a true story.<P>And there was recently a woman in Calif that had an "infidelity initative" she was trying to get passed. If she had been able to get this on the ballot and if it was passed, the wronged spouse would have had legal recourse. She was not requesting "jail time" but instead an admission of guilt, financial assistance to relocate, for counseling and therapy" and so on. I'm not doing a very good job at describing her bill but it sure sounded good. I don't know how successful she was.

I don't know why the threat of lawsuit on this topic isn't taken up by the attorneys. Frankly, like any business, they have to make it where they can. This has become so common and I believe a strong case could be made. Maybe this would discourage some of the scumbag "intruders". I guess slip and falls are easier, besides there are no insurance complanies involved in the dissolution of a marriage! <P>Eric32

I live in Washington,where it's a community property state.That means your spouse can sleep around all they want and then walk out with half of your money.A guy I know had that happen to him,so when he married again several years later,he had an unusual pre-nup written up.It stated that if one of them got caught cheating on the other,the betrayer would only walk away with 10%.Maybe this should be the standard.Plus,think of all those private eyes that would get work,trying to get pix of the cheating one! --Murph

I don't know about the state I live in now, but where I'm from I think you can. I'm still considered a resident of my former state and told my husband I intend to sue her also, since his affair came from a 3 month separation from me due to our move for his new job and building a house, etc. In fact, someone told me that since she works with him, depending on what position she holds in the company, I may even be able to sue the company. I can imagine that would really be expensive and would definitely lose them both their jobs if not their careers, which would hurt our children. But the revenge is sweet to just think about if anything else. It'll never happen in my case because I intend to win him back over and am not thinking any other way right now.