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I'm glad you re-phrased your question, too bad you had to do to get an honest answer from your WW.
Yea she is confused, and you are exactly right 'Patriot', you can compete under those conditions. Just like if the OM had to deal with your wifes kids, the bills, the every day, daily grind, he wouldn't find being with your wife so much fun either. Now he gets the booty and all of the fun.
She is cake eating and having a blast and as long as she is allowed to continue to do it, she will. As everyone says, she is in a fantasy world and it is her escape from reality.
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�I asked herwhat she thought I should do with my job and she said as long as you know I still need to travel a lot, you do what you want.�
This means do what you want just as long as you do not interfere with my affair.
�Then I said you are going away this week..... are you going by yourself. She says yes. Then I rephrase it and say will you be there by yourself.....no.�
You have not had the balls to expose. You are letting some posters here get you all worked up on being tuff. Yet you are to scared to do a full exposure.
What are you afraid off?
Is it getting WW mad at you?
What will she do if she gets mad, go off and bang the OM?
Oh wait, I forgot WW is going away this week to bang the OM. I guess she will show you for exposing the affair.
�I said you know this can't continue...then the tears come and how she is confused, If I'm asking her to choose right now she can't.�
WW is addicted to the OM you need to break this addiction. Addiction is broken by the use of NC.
Take this job.
Expose WW parents and siblings, kids, OMW, OM parents, and work. Email CEO, CC Director of HR, and the board of Directors.
WW will not give up her job at the minimum because you do not have one. Do this exposure. Then if you can�t do a plan A then give exposure a full week to take effect then you can draw the line in the sand. NC or WW has to move out and plan B her.
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Expose, to everyone now!
Family, friends, parents, same for OM and his wife and family.
Do this now!!
Do it with respect, asking if there is any way they can help end the affair and save your marriage.
Me 34
WW 30
Abandoned Feb 17th 08, D-Day Aprl 27th 08.
Returned home Jul 7th, OC born 12/30/08
The FOG is clear, and we are in recovery.
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basics of Plan A:
- Make the marriage a good place to be in
- Make the affair a bad place to be
- Make the marriage difficult to leave
Once exposure is completed.
Need to confront, and if possible meet up with the OM. He needs to be enlightened that you now know and will not put up with 3 people in this marriage. There are times where a single OM will move elsewhere. Do this before the OM starts getting emotionally involved and while its just sexual on his part.
Me:52
W: 52
Married: 32 yrs
2 Sons (29 & 23)
1 Dtr (20)
1 GDtr (2.5) precious little girl
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My gut feeling is you're right, give her an ultimatum and force the issue. She has been home this week and all has been good. We have talked, not about that and the conversation is good. Until last night: I asked herwhat she thought I should do with my job and she said as long as you know I still need to travel a lot, you do what you want. So I said that means you continue to travel, I work 50 hurs a week with a 45 minute commute each way. I drop off and pick-up the kids. My life changes completely and your's continues on unabated. "Well I could quit my job, then what". Then I said you are going away this week..... are you going by yourself. She says yes. Then I rephrase it and say will you be there by yourself.....no. WTF! I said you know this can't continue...then the tears come and how she is confused, If I'm asking her to choose right now she can't. That I don't want a divorce. I told her that I want this to work, but your not a football that I'm willing to pass around with everyone. I said how am I suppose to compete with weekday getaways to New Orleans,.....5 star hotels, great food, no kids, bills or responsibility. Banging around like a monkeys in heat. Sign me up!! Then she comes back to kids running around, Cub Scouts, financial worries and THE REAL WORLD and she can't wait to get away again.. This has all reached a new level of absurd. I have not exposed yet, my plan is to wait until she leaves tonight and make the calls. By the time she lands, his and her phone should be blowing up. They should have a lot to talk about then. I'm sure It will be some interesting reading tonight.....stay tuned. Fax over some mocked up divorce papers to the hotel, waiting for her at the front desk. Lets break this B. She has lost her damn mind...Post after you EXPOSE!DUDE
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"Fax over some mocked up divorce papers to the hotel, waiting for her at the front desk. Lets break this B. She has lost her damn mind"...
And so has Dud(e)!
Never send fake divorce papers.
Never even say you will divorce WW unless you are.
Saying something, but then not doing it only serves to teach a WW is that the BH is weak and is only good at threats. He never follows through.
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"Fax over some mocked up divorce papers to the hotel, waiting for her at the front desk. Lets break this B. She has lost her damn mind"...
And so has Dud(e)!
Never send fake divorce papers.
Never even say you will divorce WW unless you are.
Saying something, but then not doing it only serves to teach a WW is that the BH is weak and is only good at threats. He never follows through. And so has TheRoad(to ruin). Who is to say he doesnt divorce her. I say is 98% probability. How humiliating is this that she flaunting this affair in his FACE??!! THAT HAS PLAN D WRITTEN ALL OVER IT!! DUDE
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Done...and as you all said she went BALISTIC!!! She has been calling every 5 minutes with F this and F that. "Why are you involving other people in our lives". "I haven't discussed this with anyone else and your telling everyone, how could you do this". "How am I suppose to face them again". Well, you're not, that was my point. Sucks to be crapped on doesn't it. To all the passives out there (not you Dude) I did manage to keep calm until she said something about me not working for the last three years. It was a VERY good thing she was not near me. I'm glad she's gone for a few days, I am sooooooo tired right now. She just called while I was typing and said "please don't hold anything I said against me, I was just talking from anger". Ya think? I guess that's good that she at least appologized. I'll update later. Thanks to all for the advice.
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Dude,
The Road is absolutely right.
Haven't there been enough lies already?
Besides, people need to step back before they react. You most certainly did not, and how you reacted to your wife's affair may have pumped up your ego, but for 99.9999999% of the people here, this is NOT a good idea.
You need to think before you post.
Love in Christ,
Miss M
Last edited by Miss M; 01/17/10 05:11 PM. Reason: to edit a DJ.
me: FBS
H: FWS
Fully recovered
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Dude,
The Road is absolutely right.
Haven't there been enough lies already?
Besides, people need to step back before they react. You most certainly did not, and how you reacted to your wife's affair may have pumped up your ego, but for 99.9999999% of the people here, this is NOT a good idea.
You need to think before you post. How rude.
Love in Christ,
Miss M **edit**
Last edited by Revera; 01/17/10 06:07 PM. Reason: TOS personal attack
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Done...and as you all said she went BALISTIC!!! She has been calling every 5 minutes with F this and F that. "Why are you involving other people in our lives". "I haven't discussed this with anyone else and your telling everyone, how could you do this". "How am I suppose to face them again". Well, you're not, that was my point. Sucks to be crapped on doesn't it. To all the passives out there (not you Dude) I did manage to keep calm until she said something about me not working for the last three years. It was a VERY good thing she was not near me. I'm glad she's gone for a few days, I am sooooooo tired right now. She just called while I was typing and said "please don't hold anything I said against me, I was just talking from anger". Ya think? I guess that's good that she at least appologized. I'll update later. Thanks to all for the advice. KEEP EXPOSING, ANYONE AND EVERYONE YOU CAN THANK OF! All her FRIENDS! ...And about you not working, tell her you do all the work in bed!!!  DUDE
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I erased my disrespectful judgement.
You can be a christian and tell the truth.
And it did help your self-esteem, how you reacted. You have said many times how great it made you feel at the time.
I am not a hypocrite. This will be my last post to you on that subject. Let's get back to the subject of this BH.
Love in Christ,
Miss M
me: FBS
H: FWS
Fully recovered
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**edit**
Last edited by Revera; 01/17/10 06:05 PM. Reason: TOS personal attack
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Let's keep posts productive to the OP and stop with the personal attacks.
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Let's keep posts productive to the OP and stop with the personal attacks. My apologies to Miss M and to the board in general. I'm on this new diet and it makes me real irritable.
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Anyways....good for you brother, you did good. When she said, "Why are you involving other people in our lives"?...You should've said, "it was YOU that brought the first OTHER PERSON into our lives, the freaken OM, what you feel is a fraction of how I feel"..?
You are just starting to fight back, keep strong.
Last edited by codtej; 01/18/10 08:07 AM.
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Done...and as you all said she went BALISTIC!!! She has been calling every 5 minutes with F this and F that. "Why are you involving other people in our lives". "I haven't discussed this with anyone else and your telling everyone, how could you do this". "How am I suppose to face them again". Well, you're not, that was my point. Sucks to be crapped on doesn't it. To all the passives out there (not you Dude) I did manage to keep calm until she said something about me not working for the last three years. It was a VERY good thing she was not near me. I'm glad she's gone for a few days, I am sooooooo tired right now. She just called while I was typing and said "please don't hold anything I said against me, I was just talking from anger". Ya think? I guess that's good that she at least appologized. I'll update later. Thanks to all for the advice. Did you notice that the power paradigm shift? My opinion - What the hell could she be thinking that she can go on trip and have sex with another man while her husband stays home to take of her kids and knows what is happening? That is one of the benefits of exposure - it interjects reality into the fantasy. Especially to the cake eaters who want to keep both worlds. In her mind - she may have thought you three should be all friends - he provides her sexual and emotional needs and you take care of the home front. What you have done is stand up and be counted and will not fade away without a fight. Good work. Who did you expose to? Did you confront or contact the OM?
Me:52
W: 52
Married: 32 yrs
2 Sons (29 & 23)
1 Dtr (20)
1 GDtr (2.5) precious little girl
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pep I must be short. That one went right over my head. 
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