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Joined:  Sep 2003 Posts: 27,069 Member |  
| Member Joined:  Sep 2003 Posts: 27,069 | 
And I'm talking mainly about disasters, like in Haiti, stories of survival.
 I was watching CNN today and saw a video of a rescue in Haiti. A man's wife was buried under the rubble and he was at the site calling for her for 6 days. The bulldozers came to demolish the site, and still he was there, calling for his wife. And then he heard her voice, and the rescuers came.
 
 Her words while she was still trapped were something like "Know this, whether I live or die, I love you. Remember that."
 
 Anyway, a big trigger for me. Over the years since D-day, when I read about a husband who walked through the snow to save his family, and stuff like that, it upsets me. Then I start wondering why I couldn't have had a spouse like that.
 
 
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Joined:  Jun 2008 Posts: 981 Member |  
|   Member Joined:  Jun 2008 Posts: 981 | 
And I'm talking mainly about disasters, like in Haiti, stories of survival.
 I was watching CNN today and saw a video of a rescue in Haiti. A man's wife was buried under the rubble and he was at the site calling for her for 6 days. The bulldozers came to demolish the site, and still he was there, calling for his wife. And then he heard her voice, and the rescuers came.
 
 Her words while she was still trapped were something like "Know this, whether I live or die, I love you. Remember that."
 
 Anyway, a big trigger for me. Over the years since D-day, when I read about a husband who walked through the snow to save his family, and stuff like that, it upsets me. Then I start wondering why I couldn't have had a spouse like that.
Maybe the Haitan guy was in PLAN A?  We don't know?  No, I wouldn't trigger off that kinda news.  DUDE |  |  |  
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Joined:  Jun 2008 Posts: 3,686 Member |  
|   Member Joined:  Jun 2008 Posts: 3,686 | 
I didn't see that, but...
 When you have nothing to begin with, having your spouse is all the more precious.
 
 One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
 
 I will not spend my life this way.
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Joined:  Oct 2000 Posts: 35,996 Member |  
|   Member Joined:  Oct 2000 Posts: 35,996 | 
Well,B,  you're double or triple grieving.I think you'll trigger for quite some time.
 
 Life is difficult enough with natural disasters.
 Who the hell needs something as stupid as betrayal/adultery followed by suicide?
 
 You're a good woman.
 
 
 
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Joined:  Dec 2007 Posts: 3,499 Member |  
|   Member Joined:  Dec 2007 Posts: 3,499 | 
(((((B))))),
 Oh B.....you have a most generous heart.....
 
 not2fun
 
 
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Joined:  Jul 2008 Posts: 41 Member |  
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You are not alone Believer, I feel the same way. |  |  |  
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Joined:  Dec 2002 Posts: 1,141 Member |  
|   Member Joined:  Dec 2002 Posts: 1,141 | 
(((((((((((believer)))))))))
 
 Love in Chist,
 Miss M
 
 me: FBS
 H: FWS
 Fully recovered
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Joined:  Sep 2003 Posts: 27,069 Member |  
| Member Joined:  Sep 2003 Posts: 27,069 | 
I don't know, but sure hope this doesn't go on and on and on............. |  |  |  
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Joined:  Sep 2002 Posts: 1,584 Member |  
|   Member Joined:  Sep 2002 Posts: 1,584 | 
{{{Believer}}}.  Any BS would trigger with this, and what's happened to you must make it SO much worse.
 And yes, I have had the same thoughts.
 
 TA
 
 "Integrity is telling myself the truth. And honesty is telling the truth to other people." - Spencer Johnson
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Joined:  Oct 2007 Posts: 2,390 Member |  
|   Member Joined:  Oct 2007 Posts: 2,390 | 
I'm with B. Disasters, love stories, families in a restaurant, couples walking hand-in-hand in the mall....whatever....I trigger.
 
 BS - me 56
 XWH - 57
 
 12/25/06 - Dday - WH promised NC.  Plan A in effect. Thought we were in recovery.
 
 6-3-07 - Dday#2  Found out NC never took place and A never ended. Found MB  NC promised again, but WH would not write NC letter.
 
 9/07 - Dday #3. Still lying and sneaking around. Plan B implemented
 WH wants nothing to do with me
 
 Divorced as of 12/09 after 36 years
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Joined:  Dec 2008 Posts: 1,116 Member |  
|   Member Joined:  Dec 2008 Posts: 1,116 | 
I get those feelings when I hear the stories like the man walking though snow to save his family.
 And I think... man, WH, you would not sacrific a POS OW for your wife, your kids, your family.
 
 And affairs are MAN MADE DISASTERS.  Waywards PURPOSEFULLY destroy their families.  Not like an earthquake or flood....
 
 And those parents who go in a burning building to rescue their child or... heck... a fireman who does it because it's his job.  And our waywards.... not willing to end an illicit relationship.  CHOOSING to physically and emotionally abuse their own children.
 
 I applaud those spouses, those parents, those children, those people who rise to the occasion during disasters to risk life and limb.
 
 There are good people in this world.  Really good people.  And we're reminded of this whenever disaster strikes.  Not everyone is selfish or greedy.
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Joined:  Jul 2004 Posts: 11,539 Member |  
|   Member Joined:  Jul 2004 Posts: 11,539 | 
Well,B,  you're double or triple grieving.I think you'll trigger for quite some time.
 
 Life is difficult enough with natural disasters.
 Who the hell needs something as stupid as betrayal/adultery followed by suicide?
 
 You're a good woman.
 
 
 
I second, third, fourth that! (((Believer))) 
 Faith
 
 me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
 DS 30
 DD 21
 DS 15
 OCDS 8
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Joined:  Nov 2008 Posts: 2,617 Member |  
|   Member Joined:  Nov 2008 Posts: 2,617 | 
Believer, I cant imagine what you are goin thru, but I feel the same. And you probabely feel it 100 times worse....but yeah, love is a trigger for me and I think it will be forever. 
 
BW me-41 WH   -39 DS   - 9 married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered DDay aug 2007 found MB dec 2007 Moved out april 2008 still seeing OW Plan B Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy.    |  |  |  
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Joined:  Apr 2005 Posts: 10,179 Member |  
|   Member Joined:  Apr 2005 Posts: 10,179 | 
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
 ~ English proverb Neak's Story
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Joined:  Jan 2009 Posts: 336 Member |  
|   Member Joined:  Jan 2009 Posts: 336 | 
I had my own trigger today. I saw on the news that a pair of idiots were arrested and charged with public lewdness for their activities in a park ladies' room a few counties away from where I live.
 Looking back, it could have been my FWW getting arrested for the same thing a couple of years ago in her initial PA contact with Pond Scum. And if that had happened, the scandal would have been front page news due to the nature of my job, and could possibly have cost me my career -- without me even doing anything, thanks to the nature of this type of scandal.
 
 I've finally calmed down a little bit, but it sure had me going for a while this afternoon.
 
 Idiot waywards put so much at risk for a fleeting feeling.
 
 BH 52
 FWW 50
 S26 S24
 EA 3/07-1/09
 PA 5/07-10/08
 NC finally established after eight false starts: 1/23/09
 Final Version of Events 6/09
 In a solid Recovery, and lucky beyond belief.
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Joined:  Jun 2004 Posts: 8,344 Member |  
|   Member Joined:  Jun 2004 Posts: 8,344 | 
I dunno about the news, but I was watching Shalom in the Home Monday and almost had a breakdown.
 The couple and the child on there behaved and talked so badly to each other and I just wept.  If they only knew how quickly things change and can be taken from you they'd never speak that way to the people they love again.
 
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?
 O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.My Story Recovered!
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