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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 287
J
Jonpen Offline OP
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 287
I really need your help. My wife is love with another man she works with and they have only met in person 2 times 1 of which were sexual. She has commited adultry and I have already forgiven her for that.
The man she was with is also married with 2 kids the same age as mine a 4 year old and a 2 year old. My wife is upset because he hasn't contacted her or talked to her after I found out about them and I told his wife what happened as well.
I love my wife so much and I still want to work things out even after what she did because I wasn't the best husband in the passed either. I was always on the computer, I was very critisizing and rude to her, it wasn't until it was to late that I realized how much I really loved her.
In 9 days she is going to let me know if she is willing to give our marriage a 6 month probation period in which we both try very hard to make things work. She has told me the usual "I love you but am not in love with you" I want her to fall in love with me again but I don't know what to do. i have turned to God and I keep praying God will change her heart.
She is the only 1 working because I am in school full time, I do not want to lose her, but she is still waiting to hear from him though she says she is not basing her decision on what he wants.
Someone out there please help me, this divorce would be devistating for our kids and I am willing to try to make things work, so far she has not tried at all. Thank you all for your replies and I hope to hear from you soon.

Joined: Oct 2007
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Restart this thread over in the Surviving an Affair section so you can get the proper help.

Joined: Feb 2010
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Jonpen-

Let me begin by saying I'm sorry to hear this, I have been there and I have seen God do miracles.

Two things come to mind:

First understand that love is not just a feeling. There probably is a deeper root to what your wife is saying. If you get the opportunity to meet with a man you respect, share with them your story, from the beginning when you were first dating and be very open and honest. Pray that God would give you discernment on the actions of your past and how He CAN change you.

Second, I will encourage you to take the high road. Interesting thing about God's love...it's not deserving or earned it's not because of anything we've done. Avoid costly blowups, and do your best to be an imitator of Christ. Don't be prideful, but rather be faithful. Choose to do the right thing because it's the right thing to do and in obedience to Christ. You can't change the past, but you can be forgiven, therefore press on toward the Goal which Christ has put before you. First your relationship with him, second your relationship with your wife, and then your children.

In 1 Peter God shares "that by doing right we may silence the ignorant talk of foolish men"

Take charge of your life and responsibility of your actions. God doesn't call you to be a good husband because of your wife, but all the more because of what Christ has done for us! So when you think there is no way you can press on, or that she is giving up, rest on the hope that God is faithful, even when we are not.

God bless you dear brother.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.



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