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This is my first post, but have been lurking/reading for a little while.
I found out on Nov. 10th that my husband was having an affair with my brother's wife for two years. The day of discovery for me was like being hit by a truck.
Since then my husband and I have been in counseling and he is very sorry and committed to the process of healing. The affair is finished and there has been no contact.
But still...I feel destroyed. Emotionally I am a mess. I too am committed to the process and I am fairly certain that my husband and I will recover. The pain is still so raw and because of the trauma of all of this and my history of depression and anxiety (ocd) I have started an antidepressant.
I feel defeated.
I'm glad I found this board.
Me: BW
DH: Had a 2yr. affair with my brother's wife.
D Day 11-10-09
Working hard on recovery!
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This is terrible and I feel so sorry for you. What total disrespect by your husband. How is your brother doing? Are they going to try to recover as well? I wish you luck.
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I'm gald you found this board but sorry about the situation that brought you here. There's lots of great help here
Married 9 yrs.
DC 7 & 2
DH EA 4/08-01/10
Dday #1 05/08
False recovery b4 I knew about MB 07/08
Dday #2 01/10
NC 01/10
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Yes, they are trying as well.
I guess I should give a little more detail.
It has been exposed and it was mostly an emotional affair (no sex, just making out and heavy petting) It started out as an inapropriate friendship two years ago and got out of control over time. I found out by having his password on myspace.
Me: BW
DH: Had a 2yr. affair with my brother's wife.
D Day 11-10-09
Working hard on recovery!
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Posts: 1,775
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*edit*
Last edited by Breezemb; 01/21/10 03:41 PM. Reason: TOS
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Has anyone else had to go on anidepressants to cope? I feel so weak.
Me: BW
DH: Had a 2yr. affair with my brother's wife.
D Day 11-10-09
Working hard on recovery!
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Posts: 8,240
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ADs are all too common in these kinds of sitch. Dr Harley even suggests them. I am sorry you are here. There are a lot of people here that will be able to help.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING  Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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Has anyone else had to go on anidepressants to cope? I feel so weak. Oh, yes. And anti-annxiety meds, too. It is a huge trauma. You are normal. I'm surprised you can write or function as well as you are. Get some help and do not be ashamed.
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My husband and I will be married 10 years this June.
Me: BW
DH: Had a 2yr. affair with my brother's wife.
D Day 11-10-09
Working hard on recovery!
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I am so sorry these people who were supposed to care for you did this to you. They are poor excuses for human beings, IMO.
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Does anyone else here have a sitiuation close to mine that involves a relative? (in-law or other)
Me: BW
DH: Had a 2yr. affair with my brother's wife.
D Day 11-10-09
Working hard on recovery!
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Posts: 5,312
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Does anyone else here have a sitiuation close to mine that involves a relative? (in-law or other) I think Jim Flint is recovering from something similar. He has posted on Looking4's thread on the recovery forum recently. If you can't find his thread via the search feature, click on his name on L4's thread and it will take you to his profile. Then click on "user's posts" and then "topics posted" to find his threads. Edited to add: Wow! Jim Flint posted last on L4's thread "Looking4's Journey" on the recovery forum and his story is linked to his sig line! There is hope for you. Best wishes to you, Ace
Last edited by _Ace_; 01/22/10 10:44 AM. Reason: ...to make it easier to find Jim Flint....
FWH/BW (me)57+ M:36+ yr.
4 D-Days: Jun-Nov 06 E/PA~OW#2 (OW#1 2000)
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Me: BW
DH: Had a 2yr. affair with my brother's wife.
D Day 11-10-09
Working hard on recovery!
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Posts: 2,033
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Carka, I took Lexipro soon after my Dday as did the little woman. It helps level out the low lows and dulls the anxiety and movies in your head. It takes awhile for them to kick in, so you may wish to talk to you doc soon. One of the main points in the MB recovery playbook is the NO CONTACT   rule. I don't know how you can keep this in place unless you move out of town and never attend any more family functions. I take it you and they live in the same vicinity? My heart goes out to you. It is a double whamie when your beloved H and your sister in law both yank your heart out through your chest. The anti-Ds should help mucho. Stay here and keep posting. It is very theraputic
CORDUROY PILLOWS ARE MAKING HEADLINES!!
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Carka, Just curious..was your brother married to her before you married your Husband or did that happen after. Not even married 10 years and your WH is doing this in-laws with benefits deal   There was a BW on here not too long ago whose WH was doing the BWs younger sister. There have been some Waywards having affairs with the Betrayed's best friend...which may be even a bigger double whammy, than the sisinlaw. Course I don't remember the names of the folks.   sorry. Stay on the boards, the people here are very helpful. kirk
CORDUROY PILLOWS ARE MAKING HEADLINES!!
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Yes, we live in the same area. The no contact is not going to as difficult you'd think. We are really not that close anymore and my brother and I's family mostly live out of state. So it *will* become an issue when family is visiting. If our kids want to see eachother, my brother and I will try and make that happen without the presence of the spouses. It's a terrible situation. My heart is just broken.
I would move if I could.
edited to add: Forgive me if I made it sound like no contact between all involved. My brother and I will continue to have some contact.
Last edited by Carka; 01/22/10 12:35 PM.
Me: BW
DH: Had a 2yr. affair with my brother's wife.
D Day 11-10-09
Working hard on recovery!
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Posts: 158
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I have been married to my husband longer.
Me: BW
DH: Had a 2yr. affair with my brother's wife.
D Day 11-10-09
Working hard on recovery!
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 158
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Talking with my bother is very difficult for me. It's incredibly hard shooting the s**t with him (it doesn't happen often) with a huge pink elephant in the room. He seems like he wants to just forget it ever happened. But then again....I truely don't know how he is coping now.
Me: BW
DH: Had a 2yr. affair with my brother's wife.
D Day 11-10-09
Working hard on recovery!
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Posts: 5,860
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Carka
There must always be NC between your WH and the OW forever. Holidays, weddings, funerals, birthdays, graduations, work, etc...
WH's parents and siblings must be exposed.
OW's parents and siblings must be exposed.
Your parents and other siblings must be exposed.
Can you do this?
Will you do this?
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There will be contact between my brother and I.(not the spouses) But it is extremely weird.
Me: BW
DH: Had a 2yr. affair with my brother's wife.
D Day 11-10-09
Working hard on recovery!
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