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How tragic. I'm so very, very sorry, SMB. I will pray for her boys and the loved ones...family and friends...she left behind.

Lori


VERY HAPPY! FBS/FWS; 47yo; M-29 yrs.; DS-26,DD-21; our affairs: 1990-'96
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((((SMB & TST))))),

This is so tragic. And so needless......my prayers for your friends, the children and thier families.....and for you in your time of great sorrow. It's all just so ....senseless....

not2fun

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SMB,

Very tragic and I am so very sorry, but...""And she loved her boys."" think think think think think

I hope you understand what I am trying to get at here. This made me very sad, and yet very angry.

in my very humble opinion.

Sorry,

kirk


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Originally Posted by Tabby1
I'm so sorry. The WH and his OW should be tried for murder.

Exactly what I was thinking Tabby. This is so very sad, they did murder her. I'll pray for those little boys. I've been on the edge of that many times through this; I came very close. I think if it weren't for my son and this site, I'd not be here right now.

All my sympahty and prayers.


Married 11/21/03
BW 40 (me)
WS 37
DD-14
DS-10
H went to Iraq 1/7/09-10/5/09
D-Day 10/29/09
Got the D papers 11/21/09 (Our 6th Anniversary)
Not giving up! Still on Plan A
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Tears here, too. Such a horrible tragedy.

I understand what krusht is saying. I feel the same way. How could she take her own life knowing she was the one point of sanity protecting those beloved children? I also have learned that I cannot say "I would never..." because until you walk in someone else's shoes, you truly do not know what you could or could not do.

SMB, I'm so sorry for all those whose lives have been impacted by this tragedy.

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Originally Posted by krusht
SMB,

Very tragic and I am so very sorry, but...""And she loved her boys."" think think think think think

I hope you understand what I am trying to get at here. This made me very sad, and yet very angry.

in my very humble opinion.

Sorry,

kirk


I know you have every right to have your opinion....but this was almost me...and this poor woman doesnt deserve anyone questioning her love for her children....I think that God saved me, but then I think why not her, why didnt she have a chance.

I feel the need to defend this woman, this story just crushed me, I have been crying since I read it....I dont know if she did, in fact I know nothing about her situation at all, but I had undiagnosed depression and after Dday I went to a very very dark place....My WH actions basically made me feel worthless. And the excruciating pain I was in did make me worthless, to anyone even DS....I was constantly crying, I couldnt sleep, couldnt concentrate, could barely remember my name. I saw no end in sight for the pain. The only ends I could see were just more and more pain.

I did not have this website yet....I was already goin to counseling and started on wellbutrin (which come to find out recently could have contributed to my suicidal thoughts). I just really really felt that DS would be better off without his "sick" (WH's word) mother. I felt if WH thought OW was such a wonderful person and I wasnt, maybe he and her would make great parents for my DS...I know very very clouded thinking. It just goes to show the state of mind I was in....I told DS in my suicide note that "mommy was very very sick" and that I would just make him "sick" too. (these also my WH words). I truly believed that too.

My point is I love my DS more than anything else in the entire world...and a fleeting thought of him goin to school telling everyone his mom was dead was the ONLY thing that snapped me out of it....I just feel this woman did not have that chance and to question her love for her children is just wrong...everyones brain does not work logically or even the same when in enourmous pain, so please do not judge her.


BW me-41
WH -39
DS - 9
married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered
DDay aug 2007
found MB dec 2007
Moved out april 2008
still seeing OW
Plan B

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What a loss.

How old were her boys?

Did they know dad was a WH and who the OW was?

I hope these kids wind up with her parents instead of the WH.

Keep us posted as things develope with these boys.

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Kirk, I do understand what you are saying. My emotions have run all over the place with the same thoughts...such deep sorrow...and such anger...at all the grown ups in this situation.

Then I remember back to my darkest night, the night of my own D-day. I lost my mind when my world came crashing down. For a certain number of hours, I was truly not rational and my mind raced through every scenario of how to make this soul-wrenching pain cease. Thank God I thought of my children and came to my senses. I certainly was on the edge that night. It was by God's grace that my sanity returned.

From my understanding, she took her life on her D-day.

And since I knew the woman...

Yes...

she loved her kids.

Thank you all for your prayers and support.

Road, her boys were upper elementary and jr. high ages. I'm sure they will remain with their father.

Last edited by sexymamabear; 01/25/10 07:43 PM.

Happily married to HerPapaBear



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((((sexymamabear))))

I just can't get this off my mind.

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I cant either Lurioosi2, its just heart breaking...a fleeting moment to end the excruciating pain...and a lifetime of hurt for a family...I pray for her family, those poor little boys...but I also pray for her, that she found peace, that God will take her in...because I am sure if she lived through it she would regret her decision. I feel God gave me another chance and she deserves one too.


BW me-41
WH -39
DS - 9
married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered
DDay aug 2007
found MB dec 2007
Moved out april 2008
still seeing OW
Plan B

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I look back to those dark days and I can so very easily see how that could have been me. Didn�t we all feel like that, even the WS?

It�s just such a tragedy this poor woman couldn�t see a way forward and so found a way out.

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I've been reluctant to chime in here as a FWW, but I do want to offer my sincere condolences. I am so very sorry. This was such a tragedy. My heart really goes out to her boys.

I think feelings of hopelessness and desperation are fairly common in these situations. When I was stuck in the nightmare of my A, I came very close to putting a permanent end to it. In fact, I even went so far as to buy a bottle of sleeping pills to do the job. It was my H who found out and stopped me. I wasn't thinking of my kids at that moment. All I was thinking about was putting an end to the suffering. I did think my kids would be better off without me. It's hard to see a way forward when you're stuck in the mire.


Me: BS/FWW: 48
BS/WH: 50
DS: 30, 27, 25
DD: 28
OC: 10
BH and I are raising my OC together.
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And to think there are so many people in society who treat adultery as no big deal...I wonder if they think it is a big deal now?

This is heartbreaking, I have been thinking about this situation since I heard about it and cannot get it off my mind...we are praying for your friend's family as well, smb and tst...



Me,BW - 42; FWH-46
4 kids
D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006
D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR)
Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007

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I will not judge. People are humans and everyone has a capacity for pain.
Only if she could have known, the pain is not forever.
I pray for her soul, her children and her extended family and friends.

What a world. What a situation. May Jeasus help those kids know they are NOT alone.


Me; W 46
Him; H 46

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I am sooo sorry. My prayers for her boys. The pain sometimes is so great that we only want to stop the pain. The despair so deep that we don't see the way out.

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SMB

After reading this post for the second time I am grieved. I am sorry for you. This poor woman, so distraught, saw no other way out. I feel ill. I am angry at the thoughtlessness, selfishness, and the entitlement adulterers proclaim. Above all I am saddened for these children.

May God have mercy.

BCBoy

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I'm very sorry for the loss of your friend. frown

I will pray for those boys and her family. Praying for you and tst as well.


BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011




Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
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SMB

I'm saddened to learn of the loss of your friend. I will be praying for you & those dear boys. Hopefully you & they will find some peace during this terrible time.

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You know, I'm not a particularly religeous person, although very spiritual, and this is one of the reasons why. I'm sorry, but I can't see the "big picture" where this kind of tragedy is for the greater good. How can this caring mother's death, leaving her boys to her dirtbag husband and cheating skank, be for the greater good. I guess in the stages of grief, I pretty much jumped right to the "anger" one. I'm not mad at her, but I find it hard to accept that God had this in mind.
I am so sorry about this SMB. I thought about it all night. I hope you can be of some comfort to those boys and I truly hope there is a he11 for that husband and skank to burn in.


Me:BW, FWH 1DD 1DS
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I wonder about that too, imanotherone....i changed my mind at the last minute and so many things happened that were small miracles saved me...I was having seizures and had to be shocked back to life (my doctor and the nurses at the hospital said I basically succeeded, but then saved myself barely)..

I actually dont understand why I got this chance and she didnt, its almost like I have survivors guilt and I feel I should be doing more with my life...I thought it was Gods hand that saved me...but now, I dont know, maybe it was just sheer luck...

Why was my DS spared this pain and not her precious children, I just dont know...Its just eating away at me for some reason...I am doing so much praying for everyone affected by this horrible situation....even for this poor womans soul, I just hope she is at peace and God took her in.


BW me-41
WH -39
DS - 9
married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered
DDay aug 2007
found MB dec 2007
Moved out april 2008
still seeing OW
Plan B

Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy. smile
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