I understand TB. It is a form of detachment, one recommended by many "experts" in dealing with the disordered. It is the first step in reclaiming power.
Havyou read anything by Richard Skerrit? he has some good book on this and his take on detachment such as this is interesting.
essentially, he agrees that it is a good first step. But, he takes issue with programs like al-anon which advocate it as an indefintie lifestyle.
See, our spouse is our main source of emotional intimac, actually the exclusive source if you want to abide by the vows. Detaching deprives a spouse of access to this much needed intimacy. One starves after a while. It is not a good longterm way to live. ou want to be a part of a team if you are in a marriage, not someone that has to independently implement the correct values. You want spousal support in this area.
Don't do this forever. You will shrivel up.
Hey Z,
Some excellent points. Yes, emotional intimacy can be so important, and can be such a powerful force in our lives. And I have not experienced it in quite a long time. I have noticed it at times during "D-card" discussions, where we've shared inner thoughts and feelings, but those tend to be draining and never lead to more meaningful, and positive sharing.....
And Z, I'll be honest. I'm starving. I'm rebuilding myself and frankly, I'm getting ready to pull the oars out myself, and just see where that current takes me. A healthy, mutually beneficial relationship is a great thing. A real gift. I have to admit, that would be kinda nice to have at some point.
I will get to the point, in the not too distant future, where the confidence and self-esteem will be at a level where I WILL want to continue life's journey without 'Skattorney'.
I'm teetering right now. And to be honest, I'm not entirely sure which way I want to fall........
Thanks,
TB
![[Linked Image from sympato.ch]](http://www.sympato.ch/smileys/Rolling.gif)