@tryingtogoon: The Harleys typical strategy is to prefer to counsel the couple, but separately. My session went like this.

Jennifer called us. She asked to speak to both of us for a few moments. She asked who set the appointment -- I did -- and said she wanted to speak to my wife first, then. She spent the first part of the session with her for quite some time, then me for quite some time, then together for a short period discussing our "homework". And that homework has proven to be AWESOME.

Getting personalized advice to help navigate the emotional minefields, motivational swamps, and creative wildernesses we all experience is really worth it.

DMNM

Was your W willing to talk to the Harleys? I haven't introduced him to the MB website or principles yet. That being said I'm not sure how receptive he'll be speaking to someone on the phone RE our M.

How did you approach your W w/ this idea?

Thanks for your help.

If My H was willing to talk to the Harleys, How do you contact them? I didn't notice a # to call them .

TTgoon,

""I told him I want an equal partner to share the responsibility of raising our kids & taking care of the everyday dynamics of our household.""

OK, how (and/or when) are you going to monitor this to see if he is doing his fair share. While he is living away??

MOVE THE BOY HOME!!

""I also told him because the OW knows where he lives I don't want her showing up on his doorstep since there will be no other way for her to contact him.""

So make his doorstep YOUR doorstep!! With him at home, there will be no threat of the tart showing up. It is much easier to start recovery and re-build the marriage AND INTRODUCE HIM TO MARRIAGE BUILDERS, when he is HOME.

MOVE THE BOY HOME!!

""I want to make sure he has made enough changes that shows he's, for lack of a better term, "worthy" of coming home.""

And where on your "WORTHY METER" does he have to fall in order to be worthy enough to come home? And when might this be?? Are you setting a deadline? Could this stretch out for weeks or months?

Plus when he comes around he will know to be on his best behavior. If he lives at homes you will be able to check out his true progress.

I almost sense a little bit of pride getting in the way. But maybe that is just me.

Quit stringing it out.

MOVE THE BOY HOME!!

He has done all the things you required, correct?

imho

kirk

Click on Counseling center at the top of the page. If he moves home you will be able to afford the Harleys. (-: We wasted alot of time, money and my FWH's patience on fairly worthless MCs. Only the MB plan helped us and we did it from the books. I wish that I had insisted on at least one session.

God's Blessings,

Say

Ok everyone Now What????!!!!!

I spoke w/H tonight. He had just left the therapists office & made an appointment W/ her for couple counseling.

He stated she said it took a long time for us to get where we are today & it's going to be a long time to get back what we had. THAT IS SOOOOOO FRUSTRATING TO HEAR!!!!!!!!! I'm losing my patience!!!!!!! I understand that to mean "I'm trying to figure out if I can fall back in love w/ you" or " I'm trying to figure out if I love you". Maybe it means "Maybe I can force myself to be in love w/ you"

Well if thats the case WHY BOTHER!!!!!!!! I feel that I deserve, after 16 yrs of being together, that your spouse shouldn't have to figure out if they still love you? Don't do me any favors.

This weekend, our "date" was great. I really got the feeling that yes he still did love me. (knowing full well not as much as obviously the day we married). Maybe sleeping together this weekend did confuse me more than I had thought. It was something we both wanted.

I'm ready to say screw the whole thing!!! I deserve better!!!!!! Although deep in my heart that isn't what I want!!


Am I missing the boat on this whole thing!!!!!!!

Kirk--Yes he has done everything I have asked him to do. He's not sure he wants to come home as much as I'm not sure I want him home!! I think I'm going about this all the wrong way. Am I missing the whole MB point?

PLEASE HELP!! I'm ready to say to HELL w/ all of this.

TTGO- What's going on lately? How are you guys doing?