SC and others,

This board is open to anyone seeking help. IF you find it bothers you to read what RK has posted or you feel in good conscience you cannot or will not help, the please refrain from helping him.

That fact that his marriage started as an affair, although given the stated circumstances it is weak, means that his marriage has less chance than most. Look at the number of men she has been through while married and the issues she has. Do you think this is her only affair, or RK was her first??

RK, let's think about something here. You promised your MIL that you would do your best to take care of your W. You want to honor that promise no matter how much pain she has given you right? Let me offer you the thought that you can honor that promise and not remain married to her. You could be in a better position financially and emotionally if you were not married to her. And given that she has found a man that she "loves" (Yes I know it is an affair) and apparently wants to take care of her, then your duty is discharged.

Think a bit outside of the box on this and see if you can honor your MIL while protecting yourself. You need a plan and right now you don't have one. I would strongly urge you to consider counseling with the Harleys.

JL

JL, I will do. I am doing. I will also make this point as strongly as I wish to.

JL,

SC and anyone for that matter has a right to their own opinion. I realize I have made mistakes. I repeat that I know without a doubt I am not perfect. But then again, who is? I came here to ask for advice. I could have lied and said that we met in high school and she was my true love for life. I chose instead to be honest because life has taught me that honesty is the best policy. So for those that hate me, so be it.

I am after all human. I actually am a very nice guy. I tried to rescue someone who I thought needed me and it has in turn bitten me. So maybe D is the only answer. Maybe I am in over my head. But regardless, thanks everyone for the advice up to this point.

Roadking, helpthelostdads is right..this relationship, if you can call it that, will literally kill you. I am currently married to a woman, like yours, who needs male attention. I believe that she was sexually abused as a child. I can also tell you that your wife probally wont change until she gets in touch with the fact that she has major issues. You already know you cant fix her and that youve done your best, take solace in that. I am going prematurely gray from the hell I am going through..its not worth it. Good luck.