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While I do have my doubt that talking to her will resolve anything and it might even be painful for you I do think that calling someone you don't even know all kinds of vulgar names (ie: wh*re, sl*t) isn't going to help the matter any further. I also find that a rather harsh judgement to pass on someone. She might mean well, I do not know, I don't have full insight into the situation. Talking to her might make some things clear.
...and whether the marriage is worth fixing? A cost benefit analysis would be good.
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> My OW said the exact same thing and then tried to recover the marriage but her BH told her to get lost.
And our OW is STILL married but cattin' around with other men...oh, but she's "not a slut." (her words)
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
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While I do have my doubt that talking to her will resolve anything and it might even be painful for you I do think that calling someone you don't even know all kinds of vulgar names (ie: wh*re, sl*t) isn't going to help the matter any further. I also find that a rather harsh judgement to pass on someone. She might mean well, I do not know, I don't have full insight into the situation. Talking to her might make some things clear. I think the OW's ACTIONS have made the JUDGEMENT all on their own.
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
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While I do have my doubt that talking to her will resolve anything and it might even be painful for you I do think that calling someone you don't even know all kinds of vulgar names (ie: wh*re, sl*t) isn't going to help the matter any further. I also find that a rather harsh judgement to pass on someone. She might mean well, I do not know, I don't have full insight into the situation. Talking to her might make some things clear. I think the OW's ACTIONS have made the JUDGEMENT all on their own. Excuse me but which actions? The action to want to talk to the topic starter? Don't you think that TS's husband is partly to "blame" to? If you can even speak of blame.
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Yes, the wh or fwh has 50% of the blame, but we were talking about the OW, not the husband.
Do you not see that the OW's ACTIONS had something to do with the judgement?
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
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Yes, the wh or fwh has 50% of the blame, but we were talking about the OW, not the husband.
Do you not see that the OW's ACTIONS had something to do with the judgement? Again I ask which actions you speak of. Wanting to talk to the topic starter doesn't warrant the names called in this topic. It's rude anyway to judge someone you hardly know, only from some typed words on a messageboard. You don't even know the topic starter. Mind you: I do not necessarily disagree with the statement that talking to other party might only cause more hurt, feelings of rejection. But it can also clear up a lot of things. Judging without being able to view the complete picture is just something I am strongly against.
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Excuse me but which actions? Banging a married man for 3 years.
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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**edit**
moderators note: please leave the lectures to the moderators. Please keep posts helpful and productive to this poster rather than correcting other posters.
Last edited by Revera; 01/27/10 11:06 AM. Reason: TOS - argumentative, distracting
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So the BS and her WS are lying that he had a 3 yr A?  Ummm....okay... 
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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>I consider calling people names being vulgar
How funny.
I consider knowingly sleeping with a married person vulgar.
I also find it morally repugnant and vomit inducing.
But hey. That's me. I'm abby-normal that way.
Last edited by Dealan-de; 01/27/10 10:49 AM.
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
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Yes I frown upon cheating/secrecy, too, but it does happen and I find it important to figure out the underlying reasons. This site and the information on it and the books recommended clearly defines the underlying causes of adultery. Perhaps you should read some of it. You registered today and 4-posts in are in apparent support of a woman who has entered imstrong�s life in the most vicious way possible for the past 3-years. What�s your story?
Testosterone boys! Testosterone! It ain’t just for nose, ear and back hair anymore!
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While I do have my doubt that talking to her will resolve anything and it might even be painful for you I do think that calling someone you don't even know all kinds of vulgar names (ie: wh*re, sl*t) isn't going to help the matter any further. I also find that a rather harsh judgement to pass on someone. She might mean well, I do not know, I don't have full insight into the situation. Talking to her might make some things clear. I think the OW's ACTIONS have made the JUDGEMENT all on their own. Uhhhh, yeah....FlyinHigh, I dont know where you have been but around these here parts we call an OW that sleeps with a married man skankho...she might mean..cough...well cough.....but shes still a skankho, well I have heard a lot of other good names, thats just the one I prefer.  I mean come on when you sleep with someones husband for three years, name calling is the very LEAST you deserve. I would prefer a beatdown...but I heard you can go to jail for that  ...Oh well, I guess Ill settle for name calling.
BW me-41 WH -39 DS - 9 married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered DDay aug 2007 found MB dec 2007 Moved out april 2008 still seeing OW Plan B Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy. 
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**edit**
Last edited by Revera; 01/27/10 11:08 AM. Reason: TOS -disrupting thread
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He tells me now that he doesn't really love her- just said it. This is true for many in an A...it was true in our sitch as well. I need to know if the OW feels that she and my husband are in love. I understand the curiosity here, but of course she believes this...OW believe everything they hear from their AP. Anyone else confronted their OW? What other questions would you ask the OW? Yes, I called her on the phone on D-day, but I did not ask any questions...there was nothing to ask, she is a lying, manipulating OW, I knew all she would do is lie and blameshift. There really is no need to confront her...we can pretty much tell you what she will say, LOL. OW all say the same things. Oh and she will not show one once of remorse for the destruction of your M and family, which will just hurt you and make you angry. Don't waste your time
Me,BW - 42; FWH-46 4 kids D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006 D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR) Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007 In Recovery and things are improving every day. MB rocks.
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Ying and yang...LMFAO. 
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Oh, and what does skankho mean? Is that a regional term? You mentioned "around these parts." Just curious.
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wow, seems like a whole flock of trolls flew in over night.
God's Blessings,
Say
Me, BW-57
FWH 54
4 kids and 4 grandbabies between us
In recovery since D-day, May 28,2007
FWH never onboard the MB boat but still clinging to the side.
One day at a time by God's grace.
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We are being gamed by Crazies and Flying High. See this thread.
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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**edit**.
STOP!!
Last edited by Revera; 01/27/10 11:10 AM. Reason: TOS
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We are being gamed by Crazies and Flying High. See this thread. I wouldn't be surprised if it's the same person/troll...feeding off and encouraging each other.
Me,BW - 42; FWH-46 4 kids D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006 D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR) Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007 In Recovery and things are improving every day. MB rocks.
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