i just ordered a prescription of them,and i will call them when i have time.my wife is reading my mind and saying that i shouldnt divorce her,but im being unresponsive to her right now.


_______________________________________________________________
BH:37
WW:37
one kid:our son who is only 3 months and i miss him.
d-day:my b-day(12/27)

yes,i also work out extensively when i get so heated with WW.

I dont think at this moment you should be thinking about divorce quite yet....just one step at a time okay? Get the AD's, your son is coming home and I think you really should get an IC.

thank you.you guys will be receiving an update in a little while on how my life is.

_______________________________________________________________
BH:37
WW:37
one kid:our son who is only 3 months and i miss him.
d-day:my b-day(12/27)

K, hang in there....we are here when you need us.

MOTY,

thanks.i told her to put him in his crib...,i caught my wife staring at him multiple times,but again,i excused this warning. usually im on the top of my game at noticing little things...

how could i be so stupid?

It's not a bad trait to trust people, it is the person who betrays trust who is at fault.

I don't know if this helps, but I took my wife and OM out to lunch and paid. I believed that OMs girlfriends suspicion that they were cheating was unfounded, after all OM said she was stupid and Jealous! Why would my wife cheat on me when I was working so hard to provide a life for her.......btw it took me twenty years and MB to piece it all together.

I can't even comprehend what happened to your son, does your cousin feel any remorse over what he helped do to an infant? are you getting a DNA test?

God Bless
NJ

Manoftheyear,

I walked in on my exWW naked in bed with a relative also. POSOM was very lucky that I shot him with my camera. Are there admin / non-surgical tasks that you can do at work instead of paid leave? I really commend you for asking to go on paid leave given you are a surgeon. It truly shows how serious you take your responsibilities.

Some things to chew on - what is your cousin's lot in life? Is he employed at a level to his skills and education? In my case, POSOM knew I had a decent job and my exWW was his meal ticket. For a homeless bum, he had nothing to lose. Perhaps your cousin is of the same lot?

just came home from talking to my boss from work and my wife wont leave me alone,she followed me around the house for the past ten minutes,saying how she's never going to forgive me for losing HER OWN JOB,and how im a MEDICAL MONSTER for what i did to my cousin and how she hates me and wished she never had married me,and that IM responsible for what happened to *******(our little boy)and that i need to see a mental ward for my actions and that since i hadnt had sex with her all last week(since i was so busy saving lives)she said how my cousin gave her EXPLOSIVE sex before i barged in the house.very angrily and loudly,i told her to get her filthy face away from me and leave me in peace until i find out more about our son. i dont know why i even said that,because from being with her for ten years,i know she's not a pushover,so i just went into my library and locked the door while she kept running her mouth.she then broke down right there and sobbed for 3 minutes and walked away and i felt better now that she's gone.to be blunt,she is a consistent irritation right now.

so now i sit here writing in my daily journal about what happened today,and how some of the stuff she said made me feel like homeless people who have no place to go,and how some stuff she said were true.i know you people said that i need to ignore her,but i guess i couldnt,especially since she's my wife.i love her so much and i just want to go to her and tell her everything will be okay,but the things she said and did just makes me sit back down in my chair and cry forever.Harley is right,you never think you're going to be in a specific situation until you experience it yourselves,such as an affair.

i feel like crap right now.i know some of the things she's saying is because she's in her "fog",but i cant help but listen to what she had to say.this is my first time since 15 years that i've been scared to live with someone i can no longer trust.im glad i didnt hit her,because if there was a way i could just hit her,then erase her memory of it happening,like what that guy did on that movie Click(when he hit his boss because of what he said)i would.LOL.

i will update shortly....


_______________________________________________________________
BH:37
WW:37
one kid:our son who is only 3 months and i miss him.
d-day:my b-day(12/27)
married for ten years.

you hit the billion jackpot.yes.when i visited him and our son in the hospital today,thats exactly what he told me:that he was sorry and that he felt alone and that he had nothing to lose.i just walked out while he kept calling me back,because i was so tired of his repetitive excuses.i wont say he's a bum,but i make way more than him.he makes about 55,000 a year.i used to love him so much that i'd give him a few hundred dollars a month and we'd use to hang out all the time.im not bragging,but my grandmother use to spoil me more than him.stereotypically,he was always the trouble-maker/badboy while i was the smart,quiet,goodboy.now i understand that will never happen again....

"never going to forgive me for losing HER OWN JOB,and how im a MEDICAL MONSTER for what i did to my cousin "

How did your WW lose her job?

Why are you a medical monster, what did you do?

You need and your WW must have NC with your cousin for the rest of your live's. Your relatives are not to speak off him in your presence.

she lost her job because i went straight to her superior at the university and showed extensive text messages and nude pics of Jenna and my cousin to him and he said he will call me first to see what the result will be.i got a call back an hour later stating that she was terminated and that he and his higher superiors were glad that i exposed this to them.sorry i didnt tell everybody else this,but i didnt feel like explaining until i was directly asked about specifics until now.

now she called me a medical monster for what i did to my cousin after i caught her and him going at it like dogs on my couch.i wont say what i did but it was more than you think...

oh yes,i made sure that NC was established.i made her write the letter while i stood over it to meet my expectations,then i went straight to his hospital bed and tossed it to him,then i walked out.when i went to talk with my family,i told them to never speak his name or bring him around us when im here and they understood,of course except for his mother(my aunt)and when she protested against this,this was the reason why my whole family got into a big argument about me and my wife...

_______________________________________________________________
BH:37
WW:37
one kid:our son who is only 3 months and i miss him.
d-day:my b-day(12/27)
married for ten years.

First of all sorry for what happened to you and your son. Also I do not believe in taking abuse from a WW. I had a mom and an ex-wife who were cheaters and to be honest they sucked the life out of everyone. Don't let her blame you and then tell you what great sex she had with the OM. Life is to short to take abuse from a cheating spouse.

Let her go to the OM if the sex is so great. Now I have not read all of your posts but i do have an obvious question. Did you say your son was 3 months? If that is the case do you know for sure if your son is yours or could your relative be the father? I am not asking to be mean but it something you should be sure of.

Just my opinion but don't let her abuse you anymore. Kick her [censored] out if she wants to try that crap. I hope your son recovers quickly. You must constantly feel sick to your stomach.

thank you man.and yes i threw up the night i found out about it because the images in my head were making me dizzy.and about the baby,to be honest with you,i really dont know,and i know you werent trying to be negative about it but now that im thinking about it,im even more scared and devastated and i will be getting a paternity test soon whether my wife likes it or not and i will make her get a polygraph test also and if she doesnt like it,i might just follow your advice on kicking her out of the house.its time to get to the bottom of this.now im really angry.im going to demand she take these tests right now.i'll give everyone and update in a minute.

_______________________________________________________________
BH:37
WW:37
one kid:our son who is only 3 months and i miss him.
d-day:my b-day(12/27)
married for ten years.

manofth3year,

Welcome to MarriageBuilders! You've found an excellent place to get help but I want to warn you about posting too much personal information. Don't post real life names, locations, places of emplyment, etc. I have removed the personal names you have mentioned & locations. Please make up some new nicknames for the people involved---names that don't ID them at all. If those were not their real names, I apologize.

This IS the internet & I want you to be safe!

Again, sorry you have the need to be here but welcome to you!

i just asked my WW to come with me to get a paternity and polygraph test and she freaked out and said no,that she has nothing to hide and that our child is mine biologically.i looked deep in her face and im telling you,i have a feeling she's lying.i could and will forever catch her when she's telling a lie. i asked her did she want this marriage to work and she said that she doesnt know because she is in love with my cousin still and i almost passed out while she ran to our bedroom sobbing. i've never felt so angry and humiliated in my life.i told her that if she doesnt get on board,then she will lose me,and that if i find out that this child isnt mine,she will lose me.i am really scared that my child isnt mine,but could be someone else's or even my cousin's child.if i find out that this child isnt mine,i will be devastated and i will divorce her immediately,because i dont deserve this.i can only take so much. im tired of her whining about her wants and disrespecting me while a little child is in the hospital because of her childishness.i wont even call it my son anymore until i find the truth and she will give it to me.i may feel like crap right now,but i refuse to be held in a deceptive marriage that has been based on a lie for the past 3 months.IM SICK OF IT!!!!!!!!!!

I would not force WW out of the house at this point. Your emotions are all over the place.

I would schedule a polygraph test and a DNA paternity test.

Why would they fire WW did OM and her work together?

At this point WW will only try to justify what see did and put all of the blame on you. Best to ignore this babble. You can't educate a WW at this point.

Was there any permanent damage to the OM?

Will he recover?

As to your aunt losing it remember she is a mom and can't herself to protect her son. Hold your ground on NC though.

ok,i guess i wont but what if he's not mine?im so scared.and yes,there is permanent damage to my cousin and i feel so angry at myself for what i did to him.i wish i could rewind but i cant,i must move forward.and he is stable.i talked to him a couple times and its a dead-end.he keeps giving me the same excuse about what he did and that he's sorry,then his doctor put him back to sleep.i wont say what happened but the damage is really great.doctor said he wont get out until march.meanwhile i am scheduling a paternity and polygraph and if she refuses,then i'll just move out temporarily(spend the night at my mother's house or something).and i understand that my aunt is my cousin's mother and i never forgot that,until those few five minutes when i caught my wife and him going at it.i cant stop thinking about it.when my aunt yelled at me i didnt even fight back,i just sat there and took it with my head down while my whole family fought over the situation.this is killing me internally and i just wish i would've found out about WW's affair an indirect way.

_______________________________________________________________
BH:37
WW:37
one kid:our son who is only 3 months and i miss him.
d-day:my b-day(12/27)
married for ten years.

Why is my B.S. Detector going off the chart?

Then she has nothing to fear from a polygraph and paternity test.

I know it's very hard but are you controlling your anger and temper around your WW? That is of utmost importance, given the situation with your cousin. The last thing you need is a restraining order slapped on you.

No Contact with the cousin is for both you and WW. Neither of you should ever see him, talk to him, email him, etc. again. He needs to be out of your life completely. I know that hurts, given how much you loved him. Adultery has high costs and everyone pays.

I'm with you, Fred. I've been reading every post with my mouth hanging open. Thought I was alone on it. Trying to give the benefit of the doubt. (-:

God's Blessings,

Say