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YOU ARE NOT A MONSTER.
You are very scared by all the "what ifs" you've set up in your brain, but you really really shouldn't let what you "think" will happen make your choices for you or your husband or friend.
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
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I am not a monster,I'm a person who made a horrible drunken mistake our marriage is good and we are very in love with eachother, thank you all for your advice i have some thinking and reading to do. Okay, but I assume you aren't drunk right now, and you continue to make horrible mistakes such as thinking you can hide this from your H or that you can go on being friends with the OM and his wife. Get "Surviving an Affair." Read over everything on this site. It's the only hope you have of saving your M.
Me: BS/FWW: 48 BS/WH: 50 DS: 30, 27, 25 DD: 28 OC: 10 BH and I are raising my OC together.
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Yes, there are turtles in turtle wax.
And baby powder is made from real babies. And there are real tigers in Tiger Balm
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I am not a monster,I'm a person who made a horrible drunken mistake our marriage is good and we are very in love with eachother, thank you all for your advice i have some thinking and reading to do. You made a horrible mistake which you are compounding by not being truthful. BTW, did it not occur to you that OM might tell his wife? You see when more than 1 person knows a secret it increases the odd exponentially that the "secret" will be told.
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49 DS 30 DD 21 DS 15 OCDS 8
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I wish I were taller with long legs. You mean you aren't??? You don't need to be taller, you are adorable just the way you are.
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49 DS 30 DD 21 DS 15 OCDS 8
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And your legs are just long enough to reach the floor.
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
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Yes, there are turtles in turtle wax.
And baby powder is made from real babies. And there are real tigers in Tiger Balm Oh, now that I already new, TM...My hairdresser has a cousin thats friend knows a guy that wrangles up theme there tigers to uhhhhh...... balm.
BW me-41 WH -39 DS - 9 married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered DDay aug 2007 found MB dec 2007 Moved out april 2008 still seeing OW Plan B Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy.
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I think all our talks of honesty freaked her right outta here. I think it was all the endangered animals.
D-Day 2-10-2009 Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever! Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Think of it this way. You got drunk and drove, and you killed/maimed a pedestrian. Luckily, you managed to leave before the police came. It was a deserted road, so they might not ever find you.
Now you have walked into a meeting of M.A.D.D. and said, "I didn't mean to. I won't ever do it again. I'll get into trouble if I tell the police." What do you think you will hear???
Here are the things you must do:
1. Tell your H, and take full responsibility for what you did 2. Tell you friend, then never ever contact her or her H again 3. Buy and read SAA
Do the above, and you may be able to restore your marriage and yourself. You think you can just make this go away, but if you have a conscience, it won't. I thought I could just try to be a good wife and never have to tell. But I couldn't. And the greatest thing a dear friend ever said to me after I finally broke and told her (I had to tell SOMEONE) was "You have to tell your H, luri." I tried to argue; she wouldn't budge. She was right. Do the right thing.
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Lokil when tou took the pounding from your friends husband you pounded the knife right in the middle of your husband and your friends back. You would nt want your friend to pound your husband and you not be told so you could live the lie,would you? If this was a true mistake then its time to fess up,if you dont it will make it easier to do it again when your drunk,lonely or horney. Take the knife out so that the TRUE healing can begain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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2. Tell you friend, then never ever contact her or her H again . They are my best friends and we have a little business together. Also i could not make any desicions for my firends husband, she owns the place they live in and she could kick him out and then he wouldn't a place to live. I don't want this thing destroy my life. I still have no made any desicions yet right now I have hte hangovre form hell and may not be thinking clearly.
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lokil, As you may have gathered, you will not get help here to lie to your husband...Not telling him and your friend is treating them like they are your PETS...Can you see why that is wrong? You understand that if you continue to see the OM, it WILL happen again, right? Oh, I know you don't think so - you will tell me "I WILL NEVER, EVER DO THIS AGAIN!!!" You must have a plan - just saying "I won't cheat" is not a plan - That is what you believed before - that didn't work out so well, huh? Lokil, what is your PLAN? Hint: It must include telling your betrayed husband, your betrayed friend and having no contact with OM FOR LIFE...Seriously that is the ONLY way... P.S. I wish we lived ~~~> HERE It's for sale too, and the price has been REDUCED! It was $45,000,000 and now it is ONLY $28,000,000! SEE??? What a bargain, huh? Psssst Gack, it's in GEORGIA! If you let Mr. W and I tag along on your boat, we'll let you store it at our "crib" AND play golf on our private course - watch movies in our theater [modeled after The Fox], play in our "Train Room" [modeled after The Georgia Railroad], play in our "simulated golf room"...ride our horses - play in our bowling alley, etc...
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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How the hell I stop seeiing my best friends for life seriously. it was a mistake a really stupid one, I wont be spending any time alone with him anymore.
I have no plan right now my plan is to get out of bed eventually and take a shower.
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How the hell I stop seeiing my best friends for life seriously. it was a mistake a really stupid one, I wont be spending any time alone with him anymore. Oh, take our word for it: after you confess your crime to his W there's a good chance the decision will be made for you - by HER.
D-Day 2-10-2009 Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever! Thank you Marriage Builders!
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They are my best friends and we have a little business together. I see. Your friendship and business is more important than your marriage. So why are you here? Also i could not make any desicions for my firends husband, she owns the place they live in and she could kick him out and then he wouldn't a place to live. I see. Your friends and the home they have is more important than your home and marriage. So why are you here? I don't want this thing destroy my life. You should have thought of that BEFORE you decided to "get jiggy" with someone other than your husband. I still have no made any desicions yet right now I have hte hangovre form hell and may not be thinking clearly. You haven't been thinking clearly for quite a while. And that much is clear.
Preach the Gospel every day. When necessary, use words. St. Francis of Assissi
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How the hell I stop seeiing my best friends for life seriously. it was a mistake a really stupid one, I wont be spending any time alone with him anymore.
Your selfishness is...sickening. I have no plan right now my plan is to get out of bed eventually and take a shower.
Yeah. And you didn't PLAN on sleeping with your bestie's hubbie. How'd that work for you? You lack of plans and boundries is what got you into this mess. Wake up and make a PLAN.
Last edited by Dealan-de; 01/28/10 12:22 PM.
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
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Posts: 6,316
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How the hell I stop seeiing my best friends for life seriously. it was a mistake a really stupid one, I wont be spending any time alone with him anymore.
I have no plan right now my plan is to get out of bed eventually and take a shower. Lokil... Sorry to tell you that you should have thought of that BEFORE you committed adultery...ALL of your CHOICES have CONSEQUENCES...You chose this - don't forget that...I feel sad for your BH and BF who didn't choose this, but will suffer the consequences nonetheless... Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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In case you havn't noticed I feel like [censored] already no need to make me feel worse.
Last edited by lokil; 01/28/10 12:29 PM.
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Restoring your integrity should take a higher priority than your feelings.
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I hate to say this to another woman, but you are wallowing in self pity and it is VERY unbecoming.
YOU did this. NOW FACE IT LIKE A HUMAN BEING SHOULD.
Where is your humanity and compassion? Right now it only looks like you only worry about yourself.
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
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