Correct.

Ignore.

Ignored and deleted!

Here's a funny tidbit - WW has a few e-mail addresses. 99% of our e-mail correspondence for the last five years has been via her primary, old & established e-mail address, which goes straight to her CrackBerry. We RARELY e-mailed via her �Mrs. X� e-mail addy she created when we married. And when I say �rarely�, I mean we e-mailed via that address less than ten times vs. nearly DAILY e-mails on her primary address.

SO, from which e-mail addy does she choose to send her request? Does she choose the one that is at her fingertips 24/7? NO! She chose her Mrs. X address. In some ways it pisses me off that this person says she does not want to be married, but is using the only e-mail address she has that has her married name applied to it AND her married name IS the e-mail address @yahoo � all of other addresses use her maiden name, business name or stage name. I know her choice to use that account was deliberate! I could just about spit nails right now!!

Can't top ignore and delete advice. Then BAM! block her email address.

No more emails to ignore and delete. Does the sender find out that they have been blocked?

I just tested it by blocking my personal e-mail address@yahoo from receiving e-mail from my work e-mail address. There has been no notification to my work e-mail that the messages were blocked.

Did she let you pet her guide dog, Fred? Just kidding. You are studdly to the max.

OK, Z, that was really funny.........

TB

I thought the "studdly" comment was funnier than the guide dog crack!

She sent another e-mail today. The new e-mail is wrapped in the guise that she needs me to change her Doctor in my insurance. She IS on my insurance, but she got a job a couple of months ago with her OWN insurance - perhaps she hasn't started it yet or it's not active. I don't know.

She reiterated her request for my address saying that she needs it to send divorce papers. Our state does not let you "send" papers - the papers have to be served. She can send them to my office as that address has not changed.

Personally, I feel she's reaching FAR for reasons to contact me. I'm tempted to send what appears to be an official "auto-generated" reply that says "your message was undeliverable".

As always, I welcome your input.

hmmmmmm

I can only think of something VERY non-MB.

In your tag line you wrote


If you know where any of these dudes are living, give her his (their) address.

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me bad, I know, I know.

I do have one OM's address... but she knows I have it...

I know. I'm just... angry/heartbroken/stressed/pissed/irritated/frazzled/exhausted et al. I'm moving this weekend - starting tonight. And she hit me with that JUST as I was leaving work and AGAIN, she chose her MARRIED e-mail account.

Plan B has been tough enough and I felt like I was making progress. Now that she's reached out twice in three days, I have lost some of my confidence that I was making progress.

LA.

I think your doing a great job..... I believe your are making great progress !!!


The fact that she wants your new address I think shows she wants to know where you are...... it gives her some security .....

She my have left home but she wants to know where home is !!!

Your in uncharted territory me .....I gave my WW my plan B letter after a long plan-A and she caved....

You have a sound plan .....it's one that she forced you to make.... she knows what it takes to change that......

Be confident that you have done everything possible to save your marriage

Stay the course

Thank you. I forwarded her e-mail to my IM. I told him to expect to hear from her, but to NOT reply to or acknowledge any communication that varied from how it was outlined in the Plan B letter.

I decided to ignore her second e-mail. Now to move!

Yeah, YOU !

Silence can be a painful consequence to a WW.

Ok everyone, I was drawn from the dark today. WW called my IM who foolishly said �just call him at work�. ARGH! In a very calm tone, WW left a message asking me to quit ignoring her because she �just wants to hurry up and get everything done and over with since I obviously don�t have any interest in her any longer.� The tone in her message was one of defeat�

I called the IM confirming that he�d given her the message. He also said she was digging for info � �how is he?� �what�s he doing?� �where�s he living?� Heh-heh-heh.

I then called her back and we talked very calmly for an hour. She said OM had dumped her � he didn�t like being exposed. I explained to her that I�d called back to help her understand I distanced myself to protect myself and TRY to save the marriage, and not because I �don�t have any interest in her�. I made her repeat that to me at two different points during the conversation. She�s extremely perplexed/intrigued and wanting to talk about our future. We had to cut the discussion short, but she said she would call tonight.

She misplaced the Plan B letter during her move, so she said she couldn�t refer to it. UGH!

I�m finding myself in an interesting situation because I have a new roommate, a new apartment and I�m no longer insanely fighting to hold the marriage together. Oddly, because I exhausted all of my emotional energy, I find myself in a better state of mind to deal with the immensity of the problem using reason, warmth and compassion instead of desperation. I can safely say the lack of contact did me a whole world of good. Who knew?!? Amazingly, my indifference to the situation seems to be helping both of us through it.

Betrayed
I think you are doing a great job--you are putting yourself first and looking out for YOUR protection.

Frankly, I'm not sure why you would even WANT to save this marriage. Your WW is crawling to you because her OM dumped her. What happens when the next OM comes along?

If you could get past this situation with WW, you would be so much better off in the long run. You would be saving yourself from a lifetime of greif from this obviously mentally ill woman. She needs more than marriage or OM to help her. She needs to get her mental illness under control.
You are doing a great job. I hope that you REMINDED her that she is to NOT contact you--just your IM and reminded your IM that this is what he is supposed to be doing--being an IM and not telling the WW to contact you?

You are setting yourself free IMO.
Keep up the good work.

And, Betrayed--there are millions of worthy, non mentally ill women in the world...

I hope that you told her to NOT call...she is reeling you back in. Almost sounds like a psychopath to me.

Thanks StillDawn.

She did not call - she texted that she was working late. May be true, may not be - the beauty of being indifferent is that I don't care.

I agree with you that she needs to get treatment. I also agree she is trying to reel me back in. To her detriment, I have met SO MANY amazing women in the last few weeks that my head is spinning with the possibilities. I made it clear to her that she has to take care of herself before I will be drawn back into her situation. She does not understand what that means and is seeking my clarification.

I am in a really good place to let her go. The hard work is all up to her, now. She can try to pull me back in, but I'm sitting on the sidelines for the foreseeable future.